Shine01: My brain goes to strange places. Sometimes I go there too.

Title: Beta Test 01
Author: Harper Kingsley
Rating: mature
POV: First person

Follows the rather uncomfortable adventures of a guy that’s got a very interesting and dark mind.


There are times when my brain seems to be processing so fast that I just can’t keep up. So much is going on and things are moving so fast that even as I’m screaming “Slow down!” there’s not a whole lot I can do about it. I just have to keep on running while I’m hanging outside a car door with my sneakers melting off against the asphalt.

There are so many things I want to do, so many people I want to be. And in those moments of latent insanity, or maybe it’s blatant insanity, who knows. I’m not a scientist or nothing. I’m just one man living out my life the way I want to live it and never mind that I get confused when I’m trying to make change. And who cares that sometimes I talk so fast my words all slur together into one word. What’s the big deal? It’s just the way I am.

“I yam what I yam,” as Popeye would say.

Was it so entirely weird that when I met my soul mate I totally flubbed it?

Stuttering and mumbling and so jittery that I couldn’t even get the money out of my pocket to pay for my sandwich. I just stood there staring like an idiot and I could have shot myself in the head.

Then the moment was done and I was standing there alone, one hand shoved in my pocket like a moron, looking like I was copping a feel on myself. How stupid is that?

The guy behind the Subway counter gave me a pitying look, but at least he didn’t say anything about it. I just hunched my shoulders and pretended like nothing had even happened. And once I’d paid and gotten my food I was practically running out the door, trying to get away from what had to have been a mocking glance.

Everyone is always laughing at me. Their eyes are like staring birds pecking their way into my brain.

I left the restaurant and ran down the street, my jacket flapping around me as I dodged my way across the parking lot. I nearly got hit by a little red Beetle, but I just gave the girl a nasty face and ran on.

The sun was pounding down on the top of my head and everything looked too bright, the buildings tired and worn. I could nearly feel the heat rising up through the bottoms of my shoes.

It hadn’t seemed like it was going to be so bright this morning, but it looked like the heat was coming on early. It had to be a cool 90-degrees already and it was only ten o’clock. It made me wish I could go back in time and change into shorts and a tee shirt, but I was stuck with my jacket and jeans.

Squinting my eyes, I rushed across the street side. There wasn’t much traffic, but most of the drivers were old and there was a chance I could end up splattered.

Pausing on the sidewalk, I set the bag holding my sandwich on the ground and quickly shrugged out of my jacket. I held it for a moment, wondering what I was supposed to do with it. Finally, I just shrugged and tied it around my waist.

Who cared what the world thought. It was too hot to have it hanging from my arms like a dead animal.

Grabbing my sandwich, I started walking the five blocks home. My shirt was already sticking to my back unpleasantly and I was worried that I was already starting to stink.

If I ignored the heat, it was actually a very beautiful day. The bright light with just the faintest of breezes brushing against my skin. I closed my eyes occasionally and tilted my face back, liking the warmth against my eyelids. Everything looked red behind the hoods of flesh.

I could hear my sneakers slapping against the cement and it was the closest to happy I’d been in a long time. I wished I’d brought my music player, but there was no room for regret in the midst of such personal contentment.

I moved in a bubble of silence, away entirely from the rest of the world and all the people in it.

My happiness was broken when I reached my apartment complex and saw smoke rising above the tops of the buildings. There was the sound of fire engines and as I came around from the back I felt my stomach drop.

All the noise and rush-rush-rush was happening in front of my building. In my building, I found when I got close.

“Wh… what?” I asked loudly, joining the amassing throng of spectators. My neighbors that I couldn’t even recognize on sight. Dozens and dozens of other human stink animals all standing together on the crushed green grass.

A woman in a pink shirt turned to face me, her face twisting in lines of regret. I vaguely recognized her, had spoken to her on occasion even. “That’s your building, isn’t it?”

I nodded. “What happened?”

She shrugged. “The alarm just started going off and we all came out.”

I stood there watching the firefighters running around and there were lots of hoses sounding and things happening and I kind of wanted to throw up. There was a good chance that everything I owned in the entire world had just been burnt to a crisp or was right now being soaked with gushes of water.

Tears burned the backs of my eyes and my hands were clenched into tight fists at my sides as I stood there and breathed. Sweat was beading from every one of my pores and I drew rasping breaths of the dry air into my mouth.

The world was moving quick-quick around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I just watched everything happening and did nothing because there was nothing I could do.

My whole life was burning up in front of my eyes.

/ CHAPTER

 

Listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEfpoUuKFOY

[table “19” not found /]

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