Me and Julio Down By the Schoolyard… with alcohol

A lot of times the “you” spoken of here is really “me.” This is real talk here, so I wanted to use my “speaking” voice, and if you’ve ever heard me speak live you’d know that I have an odd way of talking. I never try to lay blame on someone (sometimes my temper gets away from me) so nothing here is aimed at any particular person.

“If you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

Please be careful while drinking alcohol.

I’m not a big drinker, but I’ve hung out with people that could really put it away. There may be an idiom about fish in there. And even though I try to be the voice of logic, I’m not always there or maybe I’m incapacitated in some way — I’m easily distracted by video games and TV — and at some point you want to start believing that you’re dealing with adults that know their limits.

It’s just that sometimes limits get misjudged and you have a terrifying experience. If you’re just partying and having a good time, there should be no reason for you to get black out drunk. That’s usually something people do to avoid their problems or because they might have issues with alcohol.

There’s a very fine line between “tipsy” and “drunk” and “Did that really just happen?” And that line is usually just a couple of drinks, especially if someone slips you doubles or triples without bothering to let you know.

I had that happen to me once by a bartender friend. He thought he was being nice to me by slipping me extra shots in my drinks, but it was a jerk move not telling me. When I stood up, it was like it all hit me at once and I could barely walk, my after work cocktail turned into a real ordeal. Good thing I didn’t drive or I would have had to pick up my car the next day. I was always careful with drinks served by him after that.

I’m 5’2″ and I know my limits in general. Two shots will have me giggly, three and I’m feeling no pain. Any more than that and there’s a chance I’ll be hurking before the night is through. The problem is, I like to have my shots in mixed drinks like strawberry daiquiris, lemon drops, oatmeal cookies, etc., which can make it hard to tell exactly how many shots have been mixed in unless I’m actually watching my drink be prepared.

So I can understand how someone could get “Oh crap!” drunk. But there are things you can do during or after either for yourself or a friend.

Here’s “How to Take Care of a Drunk Person: 9 Steps”: http://www.wikihow.com/Take-Care-of-a-Drunk-Person

A Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) calculator is pretty helpful. Put in your weight and go through figuring out how many of your favorite alcoholic beverages you can put away, maybe even write them on a note card you put in your wallet. You’ll have a reference to work with. “Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) Calculator:  http://www.medindia.net/doctors/calculators/blood_alcohol.asp

 

One time, my friend got so drunk he threw up in his bed TWICE and couldn’t manage to get up and really clean it. He just bundled the sheet on the floor and curled up on his side with his face hanging over the edge. He may possibly have removed his shirt, I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But anyway you look at it, he could have died that night. Later he got a DUI, but that’s a different story.

Anyone have any stories?

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