Harper Kingsley blog

When I was getting into the shower, I thought about the time someone said I have really nice skin. And at the time, my first thought wasn’t "Wow, what a nice compliment" it was "Are you a serial killer? Are you thinking about skinning me?" And as always, that makes me think of Buffalo Bill from "The Silence of the Lambs" movie with Jodie Foster. (I have never read the book series. Sorry.)

So when I got in the shower, I was half-thinking about the movie. And it came to me, that if Buffalo Bill had been more discerning about his choice of victims, he never would have been caught.

It was only because he grabbed the daughter of a senator that the FBI bothered to get serious about him serial killing all those women.

If he hadn’t grabbed her, and instead had chosen a different victim, he would have been able to make his woman suit, and maybe a woman jumper and a woman romper and maybe a couple of blankets and who knows what else.

He was in it to skin it.

And if he hadn’t taken the senator’s daughter and brought all the official attention on himself, Hannibal Lecter never would have had the chance to escape from prison. Because it was only because of the senator trying to butter him up that Hannibal was moved to the less maximum security prison where he was able to escape.

That poor guard wouldn’t have had his face ripped off if it wasn’t for Buffalo Bill.

And yeah, yays to Clarissa Darling (lol) for catching Buffalo Bill… But Hannibal Lecter was let out on the loose, and I think that’s a net negative when you really think about it. Because Buffalo Bill was staying local to the United States, and Hannibal was happily traveling from country to country and back again, leaving a bunch of newspaper serial killer names in his wake.

I guess it was a big shock when they realized like 5 big serial killers all turned out to be Hannibal Lecter.

And him being on the loose was because of a senator abusing her position to get special treatment for her daughter’s abduction case.

Buffalo Bill could have saved himself a lot of trouble and dog worry if he had simply chosen a "better" victim. And she would have been better off if she hadn’t been so kind to a "struggling" stranger.

Seriously: I was a little kid the first time I watched "The Silence of the Lambs" and I was like "No, don’t do it!" toward the screen when SHE CLIMBED INTO THE TRUCK.

Even as a kid, I realized that was a very big mistake. That all he had to do was close the door and now he’s got a girl trapped was like "Oh. No. Now you get to live in a well like in ‘The Ring’ but without superpowers."

Anyways, my big realization about "The Silence of the Lambs" is that it’s a movie about the abuses of power. That until the victim was someone "important," the police and the FBI and everyone else didn’t care. They would find another body, realize the victim was a nobody, and just shrug off their murder because it didn’t matter.

It wasn’t until someone rich and powerful was intent on getting their person back that all of a sudden a serial killer being on the loose became Serious Business.

And it’s a movie, and it was the early 90s, but it’s still pretty much the same now. And there have been multiple historical instances where basically the same situation has happened and nobody has cared until someone "important" became involved.

One of Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims escaped and was running down the street naked, and the police came and Dahmer went up to them and spun some story and the police gave the victim back to him. A naked teenaged boy with marks on his body and terror in his eyes, and the police were like "Here, trustworthy looking white man, here’s this person of color. Do with him as you will." And Jeffrey Dahmer ate him.

It boggles the mind.

Like, historically speaking, serial killers are not smarter or smoother or more charming or more manipulative than other people. They were able to get away with their crimes because of systemic stupidity in law enforcement.

"You’re a white guy. You can’t possibly be the child eating monster terrorizing the city." And when they have a family and a house? "Wow. There’s no way it could be you. You have a kid. A wife. A job. You wouldn’t be able to have any of those things if you were the guy abducting people off the street and chopping them into little pieces after you’ve done terrible things to them for days and days. Like, how could you possibly have the time to do all those terrible things when you have a family you largely ignore and leave to your wife to care for? I mean, you come home every night at 8 o’clock and you leave at 7 in the morning. When could you possibly have the time to be a serial killing madman? Naw. You look innocent to me. Here, take back this terrified looking 14 year old that you’ve obviously drugged to incoherence. Keep a better watch on him next time."

Ah. It’s terrible being woke.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

https://www.everand.com/author/262822558/Harper-Kingsley.
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/harper-kingsley.
https://books.apple.com/us/author/harper-kingsley/id444850597.

There are so many people–mostly on TikTok–starting their own "small businesses" which are basically just them buying a bunch of candy and overcharging customers to sell it to them. They’re wearing the same gloves and touching all the unpackaged candy. They’re opening all the candy and storing them in unwashed plastic containers–like, taking the containers straight out of a box, filling them with candy, then putting them on their shelves like they did something. (Wash those fucking containers! OMG. Manufacturing grossness. Warehouse grossness. Dozens of people handling the containers before they get to you. WASHING THEM IS THE FIRST STEP!)

I am simply so despairing of humanity.

I feel like if you’re going to store the candy on your shelves, and then shovel peoples’ orders into containers for shipping, why wouldn’t you spend the extra few dollars for glass jars? They can be sanitized with boiling water, and that’s a good thing. Plus depending on the plastic storage containers, you have to worry that they’re going to break down over years of usage as they stay under the lights in your work space.

Go glass if you’re going to do that.

Plus, if your goal customers are "crunchy moms," do you honestly think they’re going to buy from you when you store your CANDY in PLASTIC??? Like, they’re not out there buying candy in the first place. They’re making their own stuff using maple sugar and honey and agave. But to expect them to buy ANYTHING that came out of a big plastic tub? You are delusional. And you are about to lose your ass on your ill thought out business venture.

And the very idea of buying FOOD from any of these people…

Be for fucking real.

I am too poor to risk my health and my life buying food from random people ON THE INTERNET.

Like, if I had a shit ton of money and I had super great health insurance, MAYBE. But I simply cannot afford the risk of a food-borne illness and all the ick that comes with it. Like, maybe I’d be lucky to be spending a few days on the toilet, ejecting everything from both ends, but there are some diseases that are forever.

I’ve heard of people ending up PARALYZED for life after eating a bad piece of chicken.

Supporting someone’s "small business" that they basically built out of their ass is not my responsibility. I’m sorry you poured your money into a business that you didn’t actually plan for or properly think out, but I’m not here to give you money so you can give me listeria or botulism or salmonella or e.Coli or anything else that can be passed around by your unwashed containers and unchanged gloves and your loose hair.

I’m glad you have dreams. I hope you have a good life. But no. I’m not spending $180 for 2 pounds of candy you bought from a bulk retail warehouse.

Like, you’re not even making the candy. You’re just taking it out of the package and contaminating it before sending it to people.

Again: Be for fucking real.

I believe people should support small businesses. I think that people should be out there making small businesses and promoting micro-economies and building up their communities. But that doesn’t mean I support barely veiled predatory capitalism masking itself as "I’m just a small business owner trying my best uwu."

Cottage industry laws exist for a reason. Food safety health standards exist for a reason. I’m sorry if it hurts your feelings, but like 99% of people SHOULD NOT be making and selling food. That’s just flat out. You can still have a business, but please: Don’t have it be a business dealing with food or DIY cosmetics.

If there’s any risk that your product can result in someone DYING or experiencing any kind of poisoning event, why put yourself or them in that position? Make and sell bookmarks. Make pretty fake flower ornaments. Make a zine. Knit scarves or sweaters. Make lawn ornaments.

But just the idea of spending $180 for 2 pounds of CANDY??? And you don’t even MAKE the candy, you just mix it all together in a bowl and repackage it after storing it in big plastic jars with no expiration dates or nutrition information? Get the fuck outta here.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

https://www.everand.com/author/262822558/Harper-Kingsley.
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/harper-kingsley.
https://books.apple.com/us/author/harper-kingsley/id444850597.

P.S. Sometimes I feel like that "Family Guy" episode where Peter does the "That grinds my gears" segment on the news. Just being a wild crank all the time. My annoyance levels switched up to 11.

The newest stupid "trend" is tanmaxxing. Which is exactly what it sounds like: people not using sunblock or sunscreen and roasting themselves in the sun until they get as dark as possible.

And at the same time, these people are out there smoking cigarettes.

Yes. CIGARETTES have made a comeback. It’s so fucking stupid.

I’m the only person in my family that has never smoked cigarettes. I took a puff on one when I was a kid, and that was enough for me. It was gross and unpleasant. I never picked up the very expensive habit. My mom died of lung cancer caused by her addiction to cigarettes.

So yeah. Cigarettes are deadly. And right now THEY ARE EXPENSIVE. It’s not someone with a "harmless" bad habit where they spend $5 on a pack of cigarettes a week. They’re like $30 now.

People can spend their money how they want to spend it. And I will judge them, but I try to keep it in my head where those thoughts belong. But I do have to say something right now: Tanmaxxing in conjunction with cigarettemaxxing? WTF are you people doing?!?

I see the commentary videos about it, and it’s all these white kids burning their skin to shit. Spreading that old timey misinformation that "You need to get a base tan to prevent sunburn." And I’m just like "Please cite your sources. You sound dumb as shit."

I’m old enough that I lived through the time of tanning beds and people dying from skin cancer. I’ve lived in Nevada and experienced the visual horror of skin that looks like the red and orange vinyl of the booth seating in diners. Like seeing a woman’s chest and neck that looks like the skin has been so severely burnt that it’s pulled tight and looks like individual scales rather than one smooth surface.

I’ve seen sun damaged skin, and it’s not pleasant to look at.

So the idea of these young people slathering on oils and purposefully going out to bake themselves in the sun during the hottest times of day? That they are using their weather apps not to protect themselves but to find the most skin damaging times to roast themselves? It’s not ignorance. They know better. It’s just stupidity.

Their parents spent their whole childhoods slathering them with SPF 70 and making them wear hats and sun protective clothing, and they’re spending their early to mid 20s throwing that all away. And they can’t even give a coherent explanation why.

We have fake tan lotions, creams, and sprays. You can buy a product that will give you a natural looking fake tan where no one can tell that you are naturally melanin deficient. You don’t have to inject yourself with peptides or rub yourself with carrot oil to get that visibly unnatural hue. It’s dumb.

I’m not even touching on the fact that if you smoke cigarettes, you need to avoid ingesting vitamin A supplements for like 20 YEARS afterward to avoid giving yourself cancer.

People are currently making ridiculous lifestyle choices because of shit weird people on the Internet are telling them. They are following life ruining advice from what amounts to self-motivated QVC hosts.

I’m tired.

Y’all are making me tired.

Like, you really can’t see the scam and grift that’s happening around you? These people who make A LOT of money selling anti-wrinkle creams and injections telling you not to wear sunblock and to tan as much as possible?

My dear: You are white. You already have less melanin and collagen in your skin. You might look great in your teens and early 20s, but you are in the demographic that has a more than good chance to age like curdled milk in your mid-30s and onwards. Why? Because of a lack of natural melanin and collagen.

There’s a reason why everyone was looking on in horror at the buccal fat removal trend. And now we’ve got these celebrities who are in their early 30s and they’re looking like Yzma from "The Emperor’s New Groove." I mean, she was lovely, but her character was like 60, so…

You’re burning your skin to shit, and you’re so young that you’re looking in the mirror and saying "Damn. I look good."

No, ma’am. You’re young enough that you’ve tanned up, so for a short while you get to look a bit darker, and that’s whatever. But sun exposure is cumulative. There’s less ozone layer than existed in the 1970s, so you’re getting more "bad sun" than old timey sun worshippers were getting–most of whom experienced the joys of melanomas and became big proponents of sunblock for themselves and their children (your parents or you)–and you’re not going to like the long-term effects your short-term suntan are going to bring you.

Tanmaxxing is stupid.

If you’re not already addicted to cigarettes, don’t get addicted to them. And if you are smoking, it is very difficult to stop, but you should try your best to stop smoking.

The best advice I can give you is: Don’t put your life in the hands of an Internet guru, grifter, influencer, scammer–anyone that is profiting off of you ruining your health, is not really looking out for your wellbeing. They are making money off of your misery and helplessness.

If someone makes their fortune off of selling you "health" supplements or cosmetics or cosmetic procedures… Their medical advice is not coming from a good place. They are seeking customers, and if that means making a problem for their products to solve… They are going to recommend that you tan your butthole so you’ll buy their butthole cancer cream.

It’s the nature of the beast. And the beast is hungry.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

https://www.everand.com/author/262822558/Harper-Kingsley.
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/harper-kingsley.
https://books.apple.com/us/author/harper-kingsley/id444850597.

I thought it was a cold, but it turns out I’ve got COVID. So there’s that.

COVID 2026 feels very mild, which I appreciate. I’ve never had COVID before, so I’m glad I didn’t get the one that makes you feel like death walking. It’s not comfortable and I don’t want it, but I don’t think it’s going to kill me at this point.

I’ve been coughing up a lot of gunk and my nose was running like crazy. For a couple days there I could hear my lungs wheezing as I was laying down, but there was no chest pain or anything. It just felt like a cold. I could handle the aches and pains with half a Tylenol.

It was having two periods in one month that got me worried, and that’s how I found out it’s COVID.

It’s weird to think my body was like "This lining is contaminated! DUMP IT NOW!" And boom. My insides decided to do a bunch of stuff without my permission and that’s that, cracker jack.

I’ve stopped coughing today. I think I’m getting over it now, though the COVID tests still show very bright double lines, so I’m obviously packed with the virus.

So anyways. I can no longer say that I’ve never had COVID. I’m no longer special. Sigh.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

https://www.everand.com/author/262822558/Harper-Kingsley.
https://www.kobo.com/us/en/author/harper-kingsley.
https://books.apple.com/us/author/harper-kingsley/id444850597.