Real Life

August 6, 2021 0 comments

People Peeing Videos (commentary about videos, no actual videos) — no love

Thinking about things.

I was going to focus on "moral decency," but that seems to be a minefield of personal opinion about people wearing skirts that cover their whole ass.

So perhaps the term I want is "human decency."

The Internet says that "Basic human decency means not doing or saying anything to intentionally cause unnecessary harm to someone who is suffering. This is the core meaning behind history’s greatest moral precepts, from the Golden Rule to the Categorical Imperative."

Whenever there’s a "haha" video of someone peeing where they’re not supoosed to I cringe. I don’t watch that stuff on the Internet, why would I want it to pop up during a video compilation show?

Because ew.
What kinda weirdo is recording this?
Who picked this video for us all to watch?

1 . Sometimes it’s someone randomly peeing in an inappopropriate place, but a lot of times it’s someone under the influence.

Like, your friend is so wasted they can’t really talk. They’re stumbling around. And now they’re pissing in the fish tank. So what are you doing?

If you’re not trying to stop your friend, you’re useless.

If you’re recording your friend so you have the video to show them later? You’re kind of an asshole*.

And if that video of your "friend" ever makes it onto the Internet? You’re an enemy.

That person is your friend, but you are not their friend.

more deets needed to decide

Because 2.

It’s bad enough you sat back watching your friend pee wherever, but you also recorded it. And somehow it became public viewing. (Enough that it’s on a TV show!)

If you posted that video, you’re terrible for making a spectacle of your friend.

If your friend, for whatever reason, wants to have the video posted and you don’t deny them? You’re terrible for not caring about your friend or their future happiness.

Because really, what seems "okay"-ish in the moment, can be a really. big. deal. in like 10 years (or 2 years if your friend wants to get a date).

You recorded your friend with their dingus out. You’ve already revealed a lot ABOUT YOURSELF.

Letting that video go public could be seen as a multi-tiered attack on your friendship depending on the options:

you let your friend embarrass themself so you could record it for your own amusement because they’re not really your friend, they’re your "friend"
you posted and monetized the video to cash in on your "friend"
you let the video get out of your control and someone else posted the video
you let your friend let you post the video to their future detriment (that’s totally your fault)

Whatever happened:

filming someone without their permission while they’re peeing/pooping/picking their nose/jacking it = you’re a weirdo

And if someone gives you permission to film them doing something for your pleasure? If that video ends up on the Internet, you’re a scumbag. There is no "sex-worker or not"-rider because it DOESN’T MATTER.

You’re the weirdo.

And 3:

Who the hell is picking these videos for us to watch? Seriously, dudes, who are these people and where the hell do they step off?

Like, those videos are out there, where someone is poking mean fun at someone that might not even realize they’ve been recorded because they’re too drunk to brain or they’re sleepwalking, and someone had to PURPOSELY seek them out just to put them on a TV show for a host to comment on. And we’re all supposed to laugh because "Haha, there’s a dick pissing lol", and it’s just awful.

Awful.

Video after video of someone likely blowing a testicle, followed up by people pissing on themselves or in inappropriate places, and "Haha, what a loser" right?

Meanwhile, the people filming the videos?

Like, they’re putting people on blast for embarrassing things. Why are they getting a pass for being so terrible?

It’s just so cringe.

July 8, 2016 1 comment

I hate being poor; ATR-not; Excerpt: The Anomaly

The plans are as follows:
1. Paint the Kid’s room.
2. Grow and eat mung bean sprouts.
3. Get him a BMX bike.
4. Buy him clothes for school.
5. Wrap up all old stories.

* * *

OMAKE

Being a retiree wasn’t so bad. Not when he halfway felt as though everyday they lived like normal people was one more day when he’d kept the world safe.

Warrick would never say anything, but checking up on the things Vereint had gotten up to while he was indisposed and reading a few essays floating around the Internet about the minds of supervillains had really freaked him out. It was obvious that Vereint had gone a bit psycho.

It was somewhat flattering to think that he was the only thing protecting the world from Vereint going full scale SUPERVILLAIN Darkstar. He got to have the love of his life and save the world at the same time. Blue Ice was dead, but Warrick felt like more of a superhero than he had in a long time.

Having Nick manifest his first metabilities was a bit worrying. Warrick didn’t quite know how he was supposed to handle things, but he managed to at least look like he wasn’t throwing hysterical fits so he considered it a win. Vereint wasn’t even trying to cover up the fact that he was freaking out. It made Warrick feel a bit superior to be the controlled one for once.

“Remember, no showing off,” Vereint said with a pointed look at Nick.

“It’s fine, Dad.” Nick rolled his eyes, but didn’t try to move away when Vereint tugged his jacket straight. “I got this.”

A quirky smile curved Vereint’s lips as he looked at Nick. “You’re growing up really fast. Just don’t expect to get your own car until you’re twenty-five.”

Warrick moved in when it looked like Vereint was about to spit on his hand to smooth their son’s hair. “We’re going to be late.”

Vereint let himself be tugged away from Nick. Warrick wrapped his left arm around Vereint’s shoulder, less as a comforting gesture and more to hold him back from his fussing.

“I guess we better get out of here,” Vereint said.

Nick looked proud in his suit and tie, his hair styled to look careless and windswept. He had Vereint’s dark hair and Warrick’s blue eyes and was growing up to be a good looking kid. When he grinned, it was to show off Vereint’s dimples in a charm that no one could deny. “I look good, right?” He stuck his hands in his pockets and spread his jacket wide for a moment.

“Don’t get a big head.” Warrick clapped Nick on the back and nudged him toward the door. Vereint stayed curled against his side, their legs almost tangling when they stepped out on the porch. Warrick refused to let him go.

They walked up the sidewalk as a group, meeting up with others making the journey. Boys and girls dressed in their best clothes, excited younger siblings bounding around, and indulgent parents trailing along. It was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting, this stream of people all headed toward the country school.

Warrick had never imagined that a child’s graduation between grades was such a big deal, yet here they were. Vereint was beaming with pride and fiddling with the camera hanging around his neck. Nick spotted a couple of his friends and ran up ahead. And suddenly they were taking a romantic stroll.

“Are you going to write about this in your diary?” Warrick asked.

Vereint slanted him a confused glance. “Huh?”

“Never mind. It was stupid. Life is good.”

“It is.” Vereint gave Warrick’s shoulder a squeeze.

Warrick smiled contentedly.

He had a husband he loved and a son graduating the fifth grade. He had sixty-one years of life experience and a thirty-one year old body. There wasn’t much more that he could ask for. Life was good.

/EXCERPT

* * *

They gave him the name Gellar Rembrandt when he was decanted. One more Bottle Baby sent off to the creche. And as soon as he had a mouth full of teeth and could walk and talk, he was bundled off to the Learning Center.

It wasn’t a bad life, being the clone of a clone of a clone. For everything he thought and did, there was a precedence. It gave him a sense of peace to know that he was a stereotypical representative of his genotype. One amongst thousands.

Until the Graduation Exams when he was 20. Until his world was ended with the declaration that he was an Aberration, and Unclean.

He was not the perfect copy he’d always known himself to be. He was an anomaly.

Gellar was taken from the Learning Center in the back of a van. His wrists were shackled together and he was treated like a prisoner, an inevitable threat.

He could see the disgust and disquiet in the faces that looked like his own. (His type is used in the police and military.) Every single one of them was forced to wonder what they would have done if they were him. He was the possibility of failure that any one of them could have been.

He was their worst fear brought to life.

Aberration. Discord. Failure.

/EXCERPT

December 23, 2014 1 comment

While I’m thinking of it: The wrong way to make pizza

The Kid and I made pizza tonight and ruined it.

I’ve made my own pizza before — it’s super easy — and I usually line my cookie sheet with tinfoil to keep the mess to a minimum. But tonight I wanted to try waxed paper. Big mistake.

The pizza came out with its own paper wrapper that refused to peel off. It was a terrible situation, and an otherwise beautiful and lovingly prepared pizza was ruined.

I should have taken some pictures to show you. Looking at the beauty of the pre-baked pizza would have made you weep, especially when we were trying to get the paper off and ended up just eating all the pepperoni and cheese.

Next time I make pizza, I’ll take some pics to show you how it’s supposed to look.

Easy Pizza

Ingredients:

3 cups flour
1 pkg active dry yeast
1 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
Seasonings to taste
2 Tbsp vegetable or olive oil
1 cup warm water
spaghetti or pizza sauce
mozzarella cheese
toppings

Directions:

Preheat oven to 375-degrees F.
Wrap a cookie sheet with tinfoil. Or use a pizza pan if you don’t like rectangular pizza.
In a large bowl add 3 cups flour, 1 pkg active dry yeast, 1 tsp salt, 1 Tbsp white sugar, and seasonings (I usually add garlic powder and Italian seasoning. Makes the crust not so bland. If you don’t have any spices, you can have a plain crust and it tastes fine.)
Add 2 Tbsp vegetable or olive oil and 1 cup warm water. Mix with your hand, kneading into the bowl. Keep stretching and folding the dough until there’s no loose flour or crumbly bits and the dough becomes smooth and easy to work.
At this point you can either use the dough as is, or cover and let sit for half an hour. I usually just throw it on the pan because I’m hungry/impatient or both.
Plop the dough in the middle of the tinfoiled baking sheet, and working from the middle toward the edges, use your fingers and palms to spread the dough. It will seem like there’s not nearly enough dough, but keep working it and it will stretch to cover a whole 15″ x 10″ pan. Try to keep the same thickness across the whole pizza and you can add a bit of a lip around the edge to give yourself some crust if you like it.
Spread with spaghetti or pizza sauce and sprinkle with cheese. Arrange your toppings as you like. (I like Canadian bacon, diced tomatoes, black olives, and jalapenos, though pepperoni pizza is always a classic. You can even change up the sauce and experiment a little.)
Bake for 20-25 minutes. Let stand at least 5 minutes before cutting. (Give your cheese a chance to firm up before slicing. Otherwise you’ll start cutting and all your toppings will slide off.)

Making a pizza at home can feed your family for less than $5 per pizza.

(Prego spaghetti sauce: $1.88-2.50 a jar and you only need a small amount; Canadian bacon or pepperoni: $2-3 for a package and you can make 2-3 pizzas if you don’t eat all the slices; shredded mozzarella cheese: $1.50-3 for a package; flour: $3 for a whole bag; white sugar: $2-3 for a whole bag; active dry yeast packets: $1.50-3 comes 3-to-a-pack; salt: $0.50-0.90 for a canister; Italian seasoning: $0.50-2 for a shaker bottle; and garlic powder: $0.50-2 for a shaker.)