Cortana

Last night, I was trying to go to bed and clicked for my computer to shut down. Instead, it popped up saying there were updates ready to be installed. Being me, I said okay to the updates, figuring it was going to take a few minutes and I could crawl into the warm comfort of my bed.

TWO HOURS LATER I was finally able to find my bed and I was glad.

Only this morning, when I turned on my computer, there was something new on the Lock Screen. A little pink circle with “Tap the circle and say ‘Microsoft stock quotes'” or something like that.

Turns out, the newest update has added Cortana to my lock screen. Which enables anyone with my computer to tap the circle and access things from the Internet, call up my calendar, and VIEW ALL MY PICTURES.

So yeah, go into Cortana and shut off some or even all of the privacy-killing settings if you have any plans to use your laptop/computer/device outside of your home.

Otherwise anyone can access your stuff, and they won’t even need to steal your passwords to do it.

Oh, and did you know that Cortana keeps a record of your browsing history? That it keeps a stealth copy of your stuff for ease of access? I shut that down too.

* * *

Seriously, what’s the deal with everyday programs beginning to act like freemium apps? If I wanted assholes to have access to all my stuff, I’d post everything on the Internet.

So Microsoft, if you’re out there, if you’re listening, please, please, PLEASE stop trying to invade my privacy in the most underhanded ways possible. If you’re going to be evil, just be evil. Stop trying to make it my fault that you’re stealing my stuff.

It’s getting to the point that I’m considering jumping operating systems. The only thing stopping me is that I want my programs to work on my laptop and I’m lazy. But if things continue on as they are…

I’ll have to break up with you Microsoft. Not because I really want to. But because you’re abusing the fuck out of my trust.

I upgraded to Windows 10 and it’s not as great as I wanted it to be. It’s like all the pieces were there, they simply didn’t come together in a way that’s useful to me, or even convenient.

Take Cortana for instance. It’s a nice idea to have a digital personal assistant, but there’s definitely some flaws. Like, she requires an internet connection. That’s not so bad on its own, but for simple tasks it’s kind of a pain. Plus, most of the time she doesn’t even respond when you call out “Hey Cortana” or click the little circle.

Then there’s the way Windows 10 completely changed how my live tiles appear. It’s like they forced the tiles on me in the first place, then when I get used to the way things work, they change everything around and give me a smug look “Now what are you going to do about it?” Uh, I’m probably going to hate you forever and write horrible(ish) things on my blog. You’re welcome.

The minimize/maximize/x-out options look a bit strange, and I can’t get the Microsoft Store or half of the apps to work anymore. I’m assuming that my antivirus is interfering with things, so I hope I’ll be able to fix the problem. If not, a large chunk of my computer just became useless bloatware.

I guess I just wanted to say that I’m not very pleased at the moment. Windows 10 better shape itself up, or it’s going to be facing a serious backlash from the whole of the PC world. There’s a reason why some people refused to leave XP behind. And right now I’m wishing I had held off on the upgrade and stayed with Windows 8 at least a few months longer.