Snake bite in bad novel

Reading this novel and… Opening scene: Heroine gets bitten by a poisonous (venomous?) snake. Hero saves her life by sucking out the poison. She rests on the side while he completes her farm work. They both go back to their everyday lives. The romance novel begins.

So, I figure everything past the initial snake bite is a venom-induced fantasy produced by a dying brain. And what we don’t see is the guy panicking and shaking her body as her eyes are rolled back and she’s frothing at the mouth, blood bubbling out of every orifice.

SHE NEVER GOES TO A DOCTOR!

It’s bad enough he sucked the venom out with his mouth, likely killing himself too, but afterward they’re just like “Everything is good now. Back to normal life” and she doesn’t even get checked out at the commune clinic or anything.

It’s like when someone writes about someone having an allergic reaction and they’re like “Character receives epinephrine shot. Allergic reaction defeated. Back to the story” when in reality it’s a race against time to get the person to the hospital within 15 minutes after giving the shot so they can receive treatment FOR THE STILL HAPPENING ALLERGIC REACTION.

There’s so much bad biology takes out there that everyone just accepts as normal. It is 2026 and people just accept that stuff as hard fact.

I am surprised more humans don’t die everyday than currently do. Just bananas.

• epinephrine is given to keep a person alive until they can receive medical care

• after an allergic reaction, there is likely to be a secondary allergic reaction. Get to a hospital and stay there.

• snake venom should not be sucked out, as the sucker will be poisoned

• tourniquet the snake bit extremity and go to a hospital for antivenin

• anuses are not self-lubricating

• lactation requires pregnancy, or the introduction of hormones

• a penis is not long enough to “breech” the cervix, and if it is long enough to mash against the cervix, it’s very painful and non-masochists do not enjoy it

• there is not a secret opening into the sphincter that will bring amazing pleasure to the dick that reaches it

• surprising someone with piss-, shit-, breath-, weird object insertion-, gun-, etc. -play is not fun or edgy

• carbon is not a treatment for an open wound

• butter, ash, oil, mayonnaise are not treatments for burns. If someone is splashed with boiling water or hot stuff, rinse with cool water for at least 15 minutes and contact medical professionals.

• do not mix a bunch of cleaning chemicals. You don’t get a better clean; you get found passed out or dead on the floor.

• nutritional yeast does not give you yeast infections. Nutritional yeast is cooked, so it’s dead, for one thing. For another, that’s not how yeast infections work.

• eating rabbit meat when pregnant won’t give a baby a cleft lip

• the sky is not blue

• people do not see through their irises. You look through the pupil.

• sperm DNA is not stored in other people’s bodies. If a paternity test says that’s not your kid, that’s not your kid. No, your lady did not have sex before meeting you and that man’s sperm DNA has not been stored in her body waiting to transform your baby into someone else’s offspring. Your lady cheated on you, sample reports were mixed up, babies were switched, or you are a chimera. But no, sperm DNA does not remain forever in someone else’s body like something out of a sci-fi story.

• humans are not ready for reproduction just because they’ve begun displaying signs of puberty

• people do not need to be kept awake if they have a concussion. Once someone has received medical care, it’s actually better for them to sleep as their body can fully focus on healing the damage.

• worm eggs can survive 2 years in carpets. Why are you walking around barefoot in random motel rooms?

• eggs are nutritious and not as bad for your heart as previously suggested. It was that people usually paired eggs with bacon and cooked them in bacon fat. Or they would eat a fried steak and eggs everyday. Eggs are not the overarching problem, cooking methods are.

• fluoride prevents tooth decay. A toothpaste or mouthwash containing fluoride is an easy way to prevent cavities.

• carnivore diet is a dangerous fad. Colorectal cancer is on the rise. Constipation, which can be caused by a lack of fiber, can contribute to colon cancer. Eat an apple. Eat some leafy greens. Don’t pack your insides with red meat and gristle.

It is a miracle the human race has lasted as long as it has. But some people out there are definitely out to shorten some lifespans with misinformation and just bad advice in general. Because that’s what the algorithm likes: misanthropy.