“Tomahawk” is my het novella-thing. Basically, two people meet online and find love. One is American, and one is British, so theirs is a long-distance affair.

Somehow, though, in my head I picture Toma as Arthur and Hawk as Eames when I’m writing their online chats. So confusing!

There’s just something so awful about not being able to differentiate between real fic and fanfic. Lol.

Anyways, at some point I’m going to have to find someone that can speak “real” Britspeak to go over this story and point out all the weirdness. I’m just so completely American that it’s not even funny. It’s like being diagnosed with an inoperable tumor– “Oh no, I have an American! In my brain!”

HAWK: what u wearing?

TOMA: Anything u want, baby.

HAWK: okay, so a raincoat and wellies.

TOMA: Wellies? What’s that?

HAWK: u know, rubber boots u wear in the rain

TOMA: Ah, sexy.

HAWK: well, u need to wear something, seeing as ur so wet.

TOMA: Rrowr

TOMA: What are U wearing?

HAWK: seeing as it’s past two here, I’m in just my pants.

TOMA: And that’s hot how? I’m wearing a tank top and boxer shorts, while ur fully dressed? How sexy can that be?

HAWK: no, love, pants is like ur American underpants.

TOMA: Ohhh. So why don’t u touch yourself?

HAWK: I thought u were going to be the one doing the touching?

TOMA: Don’t be a sexist tool.

TOMA: Now get ur hand in ur pants and start fondling.

TOMA: I wish I could see ur cock.

HAWK: it’s gigantic!

TOMA: Heh.

An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good at Amazon

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So I’ve been writing, which is good. It’s about the only thing I have been doing because I don’t have much energy or interest in anything else. I even let my farm on Farmville get all withered, and you would have thought my OCD would have forced me to care for my crops at least.

My current priority projects:
THE BRAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. This story has grown from “that harem thing” to something with a lot more court intrigue and assassination attempts. I’m very enthusiastic about it and I’ve been building a world that I hope other people will enjoy reading about as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. [words: 100,000+]
FIENDS — [Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Teablossom is a jerk, but I think he’s becoming a creature with a little more depth than he started with. I’m still trying to see what kind of guy Henry is–though like a lot of my other characters he’s somehow managed to become completely neurotic. [words: 30,000+]
VEDRAN’S HAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. My weekly opus. The world of Dragon Knight has become a lot richer and fuller than I started with and the characters have gained more depth. Dragon Knight has also become a bit of a sociopath that only cares about Vedran and would kill anyone else that got in his way, but he’s a hot sociopath, so that’s something. [words: 100,000+]

What else is in my stew pot:
ALLIES & ENEMIES — [Harper Kingsley] The sequel to “Heroes & Villains.” This should already be done, but it’s been very painful for me to go back through and add to. I’ve killed so many people in this story that I have to worry it might be a bit too much. [words: 120,000+]
NYXTI — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. So I promised Sam Argent a story, and that’s pretty much this one. Set in the same world as “Vedran’s Hand” and “Black Hood,” but in a different decade. [words: 100,000+]
TUESDAY NIGHT — [Sol Crafter] mm superhero. AU of “Pulse of the City.” Kind of a kid!fic, but really just two guys trying to make a life together. [words: 50,000+]
DOGGY STYLE –[Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Zack gets turned into a dog, then has to figure out how to get back to being human. [words: 30,000]
ACROSS TWO DIVIDES — [Sol Crafter] So I’m this awful person that killed off this poor guy’s brother, and now I’ve gotta get him past his grief to the point where he’s not just a pile of misery.

Anyways, I’ve got a lot on my plate and I’m moving through it all at a steady pace.


If you’re curious, this is how I write:

  1. I come up with the initial idea. Which can basically be “two guys meet and fall into a relationship that has an HEA” or “a guy really wants to be a superhero, but it doesn’t work out, so he becomes a pretty serious supervillain.”
  2. I expand on the idea in note form. Pages of description, things I think I might want to have take place, even background info that I might not use for that particular story but might use later.
  3. I write a synopsis. A generalized sketch of what I want to have take place in the story. Beginning, middle, and end, though it’s pretty sparse.
  4. I write a serious outline that goes through the scenes one-by-one and includes all the dialogue. My outline could basically be seen as the entire story in compacted form.
  5. Using my outline, I write out the scenes, filling in all the details and richer descriptions of people and scenery.

Sometimes I don’t bother with steps 3, 4 and 5. If I feel like I know the story and the characters well-enough, I just come up with the world they live in and let them go about their business.

My daily quota: 12,000 words.

Small Gods at Amazon

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Okay, so “Ersatz” is now on Amazon and Smashwords. It’s a $0.99 short story about two man-children that are asked about their ersatz homosexual relationship, which leaves them reeling.

Disregarding their ages, they really are man-children in that they spend all their time slacking around in their apartment playing video games and smoking pot. Their comfortable world gets rocked by a rude question and they respond in typical fashion–by running away from each other and acting like teenaged girls, neither one wanting to be the first to mention the dreaded “love” word.

Smashword
Amazon

BTW, when I picture Niedelmeyer hassling Charlie, this is the image that popped in my head:

He just seems like that kind of guy…

Small Gods at Amazon

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"book cover: Altredes"Title: Altredes
Author: Lisa Bailey
Genre: YA, sci-fi/fantasy
Summary: Sebastian Altredes is the heir of the powerful Altredes Family and has been ordered by his father to represent the Altredes in their alliance with the up and coming Mercana Family. Only the man the world knows as “Sebastian Altredes” is really Sabrina Altredes, a woman forced to take the place of her twin brother after he fled from his responsibilities.

Now Seb is dealing with the sharp-eyed head of the Mercana Family, Paul Anthony, and dodging assassins bullets with only her bodyguard Cisero to keep her alive.

** Yes, this is totally my riff on Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” **

Read the excerpt: