So I got into a bit of an argument with this guy about the N-word. He kept insisting that because black people use it, it’s okay for him to use it.

I was like, “No. It’s not a good idea to use that word, not just because you’re white and it makes you sound racist, but because someone is going to punch you in the face.”

So he went on about how when he went back to Kansas for his dad’s funeral, everyone used the word. It was synonymous with “black guy,” and even if people weren’t advertising it on the news or whatever, everyone used it.

Then when I asked him how long it’s been since he went to Kansas, he was like “Five years ago for the funeral,” and I was like, “More like ten or fifteen since he died. Times have changed. It’s not all right to use that word. It doesn’t matter if other people use it; that’s their risk. The word is not acceptable to use, even more so since you’re white and older and you have all these views about Chinese people taking over the world, and Koreans eating dogs. Besides, you don’t live in Kansas, you live in the Pacific Northwest. Just, no.”

He was upset and defensive, and I felt bad because I have this thing about not wanting people mad at me, but I get offended hearing him use the word. I’m not black, I’m half-Asian, and it’s weird, but when I went down south, there’s this thing where a lot of people love Asian women. I can’t explain it, but it’s like reverse racism, and yet it still felt uncomfortable to me.

Anyways, he tried to defend his use of the N-word, even going so far as to say that he had a black friend.

Dude, if you have to use the “I have a black friend” excuse to justify something that you’re doing … It’s wrong.

The N-word is not a good word and it’s not okay to use it, ESPECIALLY toward a person or a group of people. It’s offensive to nearly everyone, even if they’re not a person of color.

Just because you’re older and you grew up saying something or hearing something, times have changed. The N-word is wrong, gay people have rights, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Defending your right to use the N-word = You’re wrong. Just stop.

Allies & Enemies at Amazon

OMG, this is my test to see if I can finally get Semagic to post to my self-hosted wordpress.

EDIT: I did get it to work. So if you’ve wanted to use Semagic with your WordPress but you haven’t been able to get it to work, check out my how-to at: How to Use Semagic With a Self-Hosted WordPress.

Considering how much trouble I was having getting it to work before, I’m actually a bit embarrassed. It’s really easy. Now I just wish that there were Cut functions and all that available for WP, but I guess I can deal with having to write a little html just for the convenience of using my favorite LiveJournal client.

Faizel 02 at Amazon

Trying to write, but I keep falling asleep. That’s my brain’s default when dealing with writer’s block.

Seriously, I never feel as though there’s nothing to write. My mind is always brimming with plots and characters and all kinds of cool stuff. Unfortunately, sometimes even when the words are there, my will to write them is absent and I keep getting distracted by books I want to read and things I want to do.

So my best advice is to choose a time to write and stick to it. Force the flow and make it come, because otherwise you’re going to spend all your time waiting for that perfect feeling, and sometimes it just doesn’t happen.

Keep your words flowing, and if you’re having a hard time setting the scene, put in a place holder description and just keep going. If you have to, you can even write out the scene like it’s a script for a movie, with dialogue and vague descriptions of what you want to have happen in each scene. Just don’t let yourself be bogged down in a moment.

Worse comes to worst, if you’re just not feeling a scene, leave some kind of mark so you can find where you were at, put in a bunch of blank spaces, and move on to the next scene. You can always come back and fill things in later.

Example:

There was a moment of silence, most everyone surprised at the fierceness of his tone. He was thought to be largely just a pretty face. Everyone knew he had only come into his position as the oldest and highest ranking Lord left. The Wars hadn’t been kind to his Territory, his predecessors having died in quick sucession to leave him to clean up the mess.

WARD appears, dapper and debonair: “Thank you for assisting my dear friend.”

Marmalee eyed the stranger and felt his interest stir. “It was my honor. There is no conflict allowed at one of my parties.”

WARD, quirking his brow: “What if you are required to ‘entertain’ guests?”

MARMALEE: “Even then. I have never been a fan of fighting.” Only of finishing. He had no living enemies.

WARD: “I see you are as charming as suggested. I am Warden Montague.”

MARMALEE, holding his hand out: “You may call me Marmalee.”

WARD squeezes his hand lightly: “It is a pleasure, my dear
Prince-Elect. I was charmed to receive your invitation to tonight’s festivities.”

MARMALEE, stepping closer. Security is settling things in the background. “You are a Rogue, are you not?”

WARD: “I am. I haven’t ever felt the need for either a master or a slave.”

MARMALEE: “I haven’t had much contact with a Rogue before. I haven’t spent much time out of the Hive.”

WARD: “Well, then it’s my pleasure to be one of your firsts.” He turned toward the human woman. “How you doing there, Eva? Do you need any help or do you got this?”

EVA, giving an OK sign with her fingers: “I got it.” She turned back to talking with security.

WARD stepped closer to Marmalee, still holding his hand: “Well, then I suppose we have some time to speak.”

MARMALEE: “I suppose we do.” Lowers his lashes. “What is it like, being a Rogue?”

WARD: “It is what it is. I am free of responsibility, caring only for myself and never having to bow my head to anyone.”

MARMALEE: “It sounds lovely. I’ve spent my whole life being told what to do by the rules of Society. I wonder how I would have handled independence.” Not that it had ever been an option. Not for him.

He had been born in a time before recent Laws. There had been no Rogues and the very idea would have been laughable. If a vampire had no place in the Hierarchy, then they would not be allowed to exist.

The rules had been simple. Simple and brutal.

WARD: “You’ve been around a long time. I would have thought you would have seen some of everything.”

MARMALEE: “Not nearly. I have always been Favored and was kept close to the Hive. There was a time when battles were fought in honor of my name.”

WARD: “Whatever it may have been.”

MARMALEE: “Indeed.”

WARD: “I thought making a living name Taboo was impossible. Until I attempted to track your history. You could be anyone from the record books, but I can’t tie you to anything.”

MARMALEE: “One of the perks of great wealth and power. I could buy myself a new life.” And in the short decades of his new life, he had already made himself a reputation and was soon to be a Prince. It gave him a sense of fierce pride, even as he feared it all being taken away.

EVA, interrupting: “All right, that’s all handled.” Noticing Marmalee. “Oh, how do you do? I’m Eva Descartes. I work with Ward.”

MARMALEE: “A pleasure. As I see that your issues with security have been resolved, I will take my leave.” Amused look at Ward. “Ward.”

WARD: “Prince-Elect,” with a perfectly correct head bow. He offers a business card. “If you ever feel the need to call on me or my services.”

MARMALEE: “Your services.” Their fingers brushed when he took the card.

Then the moment broke. Warden — Ward — left with the human woman and Marmalee returned to his party. Alone.

Hogfather at Amazon

Okay, so this might sound mildly ridiculous, but I have to lose weight so I can fit into a pair of pants I bought.

On any given day, I wear anything from a Size 5 to a Size 11 in pants. That’s mostly because the brands don’t seem to stick to any kind of industry standard for women’s clothing, so Internet shopper that I am, I just grab whatever looks good to me.

Each label has its own sizing system and they don’t seem to care that putting random numbers on a tag doesn’t magically turn a Size 8 into a Size 6. It just makes someone mad that they can’t get their pants past their thighs when they buy an unfamiliar brand.

For men’s pants, everything’s broken down into waist and length. For women’s … there’s numerical sizes that start at 0 and go up. And occasionally there’s a brand that decides to just label their pants Small, Medium, or Large; not bothering to give anyone a clue as to what sizes those ranges entail. (It’s frustrating for shirts as well. I’ve ordered a Medium and had it actually be a Small or Extra-Small. Just completely skintight.)

I am 5’2. On average, the shortest length women’s pants seem to come in is about a 32″ inseam before you’re shopping in the Junior section. That means when I buy regular jeans I have to cut a few inches off the bottom. And when I go shopping in the Petite or Miss section, well, short and wide seems to be the style they want me to embrace. It’s like they don’t put any work into offering anything other than straight legged or skinny jeans to short people.

I am not skinny. I am not overweight. I am painfully average. Short and average in weight with small feet that can fit anywhere from a size 4 1/2 to a size 6 shoe depending not on length, but on width (my feet are wide from running around barefoot as a kid.)

Basically, I can never find anything that fits me. The only way I can see myself ever having clothes that really work for me is if I go and have them tailored. Otherwise I’m stuck fruitlessly combing the racks of women’s clothes, where a Size 7 can actually be a Size 9 or 11, a Large should more realistically be labeled a Small, and when I hold a pair of pants in front of me they’re nearly taller than I am.

It just seems ridiculous that in this modern age there isn’t a brand out there embracing the idea of honest measurements for pants. If I could find a waist and length that fit me well, I would keep going back to that same brand if I had the assurange of always being able to find a pair that fits *me* and not someone that’s 5’8 and built in all straight up and down lines with no curves at all.

Until that day happens, buying pants is this horrible crapshoot I’m forced to play. Where I order a pair of pants online from a company I know and am familiar with, only to find out that at some point they were experimenting with their sizing system. And now I’ve just bought a pair of pants that don’t fit right.

Anyways, I’m losing a few pounds for these pants. I mean, I’ve been thinking about losing some weight anyway — and my dog loves the added exercise — but these pants have given me added incentive.

I’ve cut out soda and am drinking more water*. Berry Pomegranate Mio has become my new favorite thing. It tastes like Vitamin Water, so it gives me a bit of flavor. Plus it was about $3 and there was no way I could cut out soda cold turkey.

* I read this thing that mentioned people who drank two glasses of water before eating a balanced meal lost up to 5 lbs more over 12 weeks than people that just ate the balanced meal. Water really is a magical elixer.

FLORENTINE: “Too broke to buy another pair of pants — I just spent the money — but I can’t fit my ass into these ones.”
RICKETS: “Why don’t you sell them?”
FLORENTINE: “Because I’ll never get all my money back and these pants were an awesome deal. I don’t want to give them up. They’re usually $170, but I got them for $75.”
RICKETS: “Because they’re a Size Negative-4!”
FLORENTINE: “Maybe they’ll stretch to fit?”
RICKETS: “Or you’ll shrink.”