0 comments on "Reboots are why I’ve stopped reading DC comics"

Supergirl and Batgirl were the only comics I read for the longest time. They were the titles I followed faithfully and spent my precious money on. Then, right when both were getting good — Linda Danvers and Cassandra Cane being kickass women superheroes — DC decided there needed to be reboots of both Superman and Batman. Which meant, of course, all the other titles had to be redone as well.

All that loyal comic book purchasing history was flushed down the toilet. And it was expected that I would just roll right into the new storylines. My thought, then and now, has always been “Fuck that.”

Yet my love for Supergirl has lingered over all these years. I was actually looking forward to the new television show. And since it’s on CBS, I was expecting something of substance, a nice meaty story to sink into. Instead, it was like something from ABC Family; weak and watered down flash with very little substance.

It was only the pilot episode, so maybe things will get better, but I don’t hold out much hope. This series smells of weak sauce.

And adding to the disappointment, I now have to go through and change my Man of Steel fanfic, because there’s no way I can use Cat Grant as a love interest for Clark Kent. Sorry to all her fans, but now that I’ve had Callista Flockhart’s face burned into my brain, the magic is gone. She has absolutely no appeal for me. If I was a dude, I’d be completely flaccid.

* * *

WHY I LOVE KARA IN-ZE SUPERGIRL –

Kara In-Ze arrived on Earth as a teenager. The loss of her family is fresh in her mind and now even her body is different, yet Kal-El expects that she will pretend to be a normal girl and fit in as the cousin of Clark Kent. Not only does she have to adapt to a completely alien world, she’s expected to hide her grief and control abilities that she never had before.

Kara’s story is one of loss and perserverence. While Clark was adopted as a toddler and grew up on Earth, never having known anything different, Kara has lost everything that she has ever known. It was a powerful storyline to me.

And the new Supergirl series throws that all away.

They take Kara In-Ze, squish her together with a version of Linda Danvers, and I’m supposed to swallow down the idea of Kara Danvers being a Supergirl that I can love?

I feel cheated.

*

SUPERGIRLS I LOVED –

1. Kara In-Ze arriving to Earth from Argo, wide-eyed and innocent. Silver Aged Supergirl intent on enjoying the world and having fun with her cousin Superman. She is joyous and loving of the humans around her.

2. Supergirl, the clone sister of Lana Lang, created by an alternate universe version of Lex Luthor, a caring scientist intent on saving the human race. Rescued from a dying Earth by Superman and brought back with him, she doesn’t realize that the Lex Luthor she meets is not the man she loved. She lets him take her DNA, and he uses it to create superpowered clones and further his evil plots. Once she realizes his evil, the things she has allowed him to do, she vows to spend her life righting the wrongs he’s done in her name. She uses her identity as Supergirl to make amends.

3. Linda Danvers, a troubled girl committing an act of vandalism, nearly dies and is rescued by Supergirl, who dies in her place. Linda inherits Supergirl’s power matrix and becomes the new Supergirl. She tries her best to help the downtrodden people around her and becomes a high school teacher with an interest in helping troubled teens, like she used to be.

4. Linda Danvers Supergirl travels through time and space. She lives multiple timelines and lives. She marries a version of Kal-El on Krypton and they have a daughter and a wonderful life together that ends when the timelines are reset. She replaces Kara In-Ze and exits the space craft with a bright smile to greet Superman. “Hello, Kal-El, I am your cousin Kara In-Ze.”

Count Zero at Amazon
0 comments on "Also sprach Zarathustra; monster worm babies; God Help the Girl"

ALSO SPRACH ZARATHUSTRA — This is that song that basically everyone needs in their life. “Also Sprach Zarathustra” by Richard Strauss. You’ve probably heard it a thousand times if you’re a sci-fi fan:

If you’ve never heard it before, then you’re welcome and enjoy.

* * *

MONSTER WORM BABIES – I was watching some Monsters Inside You shows when this couple was shown that went on vacation to an arid yet somewhat lush environment. They were both infested, but the man got it much worse. He had giant fly babies growing under bug bites on his back.

They had to be removed by a doctor, and they were frickin’ huge!

The funny thing is that the couple was staying in the local equivalent of the high-roller suites. They probably had some of the best furniure and bedding in the entire village. The only thing they didn’t have was a mosquito net.

If they’d had a net around the bed while they slept, they would have had some protection. It was a case of perceived luxury defeating commonsense. The funny thing is that no one in the area gave them a warning. “Hey, watch out while you’re sleeping. Horrible bugs will lay their eggs in your body and it’s a pus-filled and disustingly painful experience you’ll probably want to skip this vacation.”

*

There were things moving under the surface of her skin. She didn’t know what they were, just dark brown shapes darting along the rivers of her veins, but she could feel them tugging and shifting at her as they moved. She wondered if they were gobbling chunks of flesh to make room for themselves. It was horrifying.

When she was a young girl on Earth she’d heard stories of flies laying eggs under peoples’ skin. But this seemed so much worse. Because she could not move, could not scream, could do nothing but feel the movement she could not stop and watch as she was transformed into the birthing chamber of alien parasites.

Tears trickled from her glazing eyes. The only mercy was the lack of pain–the paralytic had affected her nerves, keeping everything distant and surreal. Otherwise she knew her last days would have been filled with torturous agony rather than regret.

There were so many other choices she would have made in her life if she could go back.

But even though every person traveled through time, forward was the only direction. She could only dream of going back.

* * *

F: “You’re really going to trust me with all this?”

A: “Sure. Just prove to me you’re trustworthy.”

A: “I see a bright future ahead for you, Flo. As long as you don’t screw things up, you’re going to be someone amazing.”

F: “Your confidence in me is both delightful and soul destroying.”

A: “Good. That’s the perfect balance. Now off to work with you.

* * *

GOD HELP THE GIRL — I gave “God Help the Girl” a try on Amazon and I’m glad that I did.

I kinda hated the first few minutes, but it got better and better as the story unfolded. It’s a good movie. You should give it a try. If it’s not your thing, all you’ve lost is a little time. If it is your thing, you’ll have gained a favored movie.

Emily Browning plays Eve, a girl battling anorexia and herself. She leaves the hospital against advice and is determined to find some joy and adventure. It’s during her first outing that she meets James in passing, a young man that helps her without taking advantage. She tells him that she will find him again. Which she does during her second, longer break from the hospital.

It’s a story of friendship, growing up, and one glorious summer. Eve, James, and a girl named Cassie form a band together and create some great music. With Glasgow in summer as the backdrop and a series of visually appealing outfits and near-music video musical scenes, there’s almost subversive about “God Help the Girl.”

I don’t want to ruin the story, so I can’t say much more, but this movie does create some feelings and a lasting impression. It’s Eve as the Girl in the Red Dress, with James and Cassie under her spell, pulled along by her magnetism and the magic she seems to bring everywhere that she appears. Yet she has a sadness and a desperation to her that they don’t see and don’t help, emotionally privileged children that they are.

It’s a good movie. Well worth the hour and 52 minutes of runtime.

Allies & Enemies at Amazon
0 comments on "Honesty time; Archer Season 6; Dafuq?"

HONESTY TIME — Okay, I’m going to be completely honest: I have not seen the third season of “Hannibal” yet. It’s on my DVR along with season two, which I did watch and enjoy, but I’m scared to watch season 3.

I’ve heard things. Good things. Bad things. Heartrending things.

I know that it’s supposed to be super beautiful/awesome/eye-opening, and I totally love the show, but I’m pretty squeamish. I want to watch season 3, but I’m scared to watch it because it’s going to be me watching it all by myself, and while I can read all kinds of horribly descriptive things, the sight of blood makes me go “Whoo-ee, that’s me losing my lunch.”

Still. I’mma try to watch season 3 over the next couple days. Pray for me (and Will Graham).

Hopefully I don’t start writing a bunch of Hannigram stories while sobbing into my keyboard. But who knows. I’m pretty weird.

*

ARCHER SEASON 6 — Dammit FXXHD, all I wanted was to see season 6. I’ve been waiting a ridiculously long time for you to finally show it, and what happens? Somehow you manage to get all the way to episode 6 before I realized that you’d finally finished the recap of season 5. Seriously, do you gotta be so cruel?

And when I looked up the info, what do I see? You continue season 6 and go straight through to seasons 1 and 2, and likely 3, 4, and 5. I just want to see season 6!

Ugh. It’s going to suck having to wait for you to go through all the earlier seasons again. My life is garbage.

*

DAFUQ?: Totally saw this on Cracked. It’s from the “21 Absurd Lies Companies Have Used to Sell Products” article, number 8.

Cracked: Pom advertisement meme

From an explanation in the comment’s section, I guess as long as there’s been no study firmly disproving a claim, under First Amendment laws a company can saw what-the-fuck-ever they want. So you can’t say that your product cures death, but…

“Read ‘Allies & Enemies’ by Harper Kingsley and you just might live a happier and longer life. You might even be one of those people that is more resistant to cancer, colonoscopies, and fecal worms. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But you might be.”

Wow. *mind blown*

Fortress in the Eye of Time at Amazon
0 comments on "[Andromeda] Remember that time a whole human world is transformed into Magog?"

Remember that time a whole human world is transformed into Magog? The crew of the Andromeda Ascendant are racing around, trying to stop the infection/impregnation of the colony. And they fail.

Those people died, but were reborn as a litter of Magog.

Yet due to events that took place and Rev’s presence there to calm the change, the Magog that are born are self-aware. Like every other Magog, they have the memories of their human host. But unlike the others, they also have the compassion and empathy of their hosts.

I don’t know if it’s a change in the body chemistry of the hosts — calming hormones that smooth the change — or if he taught them after they were born, but Rev started a change in the way a whole group of Magog think.

He’s the Magog version of Jesus. They create a religion around him and continue to carry the message of humanity down through the generations. [Tok’ra]

*

The Magog birthed from the people of the World felt that they were the original person transformed. They had all of the memories; the feelings; the loves, lusts, and hates of the original person.

They had been transformed into hideous beasts with disgusting hungers, but they were still themselves down where it counted. In the soul.

Sally and O’Kelley had been in love from the first moment they met. She’d looked at him and thought: He’s kind of goofy, but he’s sweet. I think that I could love him. He’d looked at her and thought: This is the girl I’m going to marry. And both of their visions had come true.

They had a cozy cottage encircled by floral greenery and all of the sweetness of nature. They married and had a couple of kids, Dante and Thora. They had a great life together and they fell more and more in love with each other the longer they were together.

Their lives were the kind of perfect that modern people refuse to believe in. Nobody could trust that everything would stay so idyllic. There’s no surprise that things would fall apart.

The Magog Worldship passed through their solar system. Every planet was seeded with infestation pods. Inluding their world.

There are times when Sally can still remember the terror of being mauled by a hairy brown beast. All she’d seen was eyes and teeth A quicksilver flash of sharp white while angry yellow eyes glared into her.

And then there were the days of terror when her impregnation was confirmed. She had seven Magog growing in her guts, gnawing on her organs. It would take three days for them to fully mature and burst out of her body.

She wandered around in a daze along with the other infected. There was no stopping a Magog birth. And as their peoples’ religion forbade suicide or kin-murder, once most of their population was infected it was decided to let things happen as they would.

They watched the ships full of the Lucky Ones fly off into the stars. They sent along their last messages for loved ones on other planets, then they settled down to wait.

It was painful.

Sharp, tearing, agony. Transcendental lapse, synaptic resonance. Hormones flooding, rushing, and filling. Synapsis darkening and going black.

It was beautiful.

She was born with her eyes open and her mind filled with the memories of Sally. She loved O’Kelley and their two children, Dante and Thora. She’d spent each day falling more and more in love with O’Kelley and the life they had. She’d been reborn in a new body, with a new sense of vision and smell. She was lither, faster, stronger than she’d ever been allowed to be.

She was Sally Jenkins.

But O’Kelley… When he’d had a human body he’d gotten desperate and tried to rid himself of his infection. Some of the Magog had died.

When his rebirth happened, there were only two O’Kelleys, and one of them was sickly. He barely lived for half a day. There was only one O’Kelley left. Sally vowed that she would have him.
But she had six sisters that thought they were Sally Jenkins too. They all wanted to take O’Kelley — her husband — away from her and each other (she’d never been good at sharing).

She had no choice.

It was a fight to the death. And she won.

She was Sally. She lived in a cozy cottage with her husband O’Kelley and their two children, Dante and Thora. They had no other family left onworld.

*

The ways of their lives had changed, but not the hows and the whys. They loved each other and lusted after the people they’d once been.