0 comments on "I’m going to be releasing “Paradigm Shift: Gregor” soon"

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I met with a therapist, and he was a very nice person. He suggested that I submit a manuscript even if I’M not ready.

So I’ve been thinking, and I’m releasing a book–“Paradigm Shift: Gregor”.

It is not the completed version of “Paradigm Shift” that I imagine in my head, and there will be a follow-up “Paradigm Shift: Dylan” at some point, but I feel that I have to get it out there. Otherwise there will never be a version of “Paradigm Shift” in a store, abridged or otherwise.

*

If you’ve read any part of “Paradigm Shift”, you know that it’s set on a post-zombie apocalypse Earth where the cure created a Third childbearing gender via gamete mutation(?1). A hundred years later, Thirds rise to prominence and importance when a pandemic renders every living female sterile. Yet female Thirds are still able to impregnate women and male Thirds are still able to bear children, resulting in strict procreation laws.

The story focuses on Gregor Tierney, a Third that has been hiding his sexual organs and controlling his hormones with suppressants. Caught in a mandatory medical sweep, Gregor finds himself offered to the Duadenora Family as the mother of their next generation.

No non-con, though Gregor goes through some serious angst and his biology gets the best of him. He’s also very self-sufficient, which results in times where he might not seem very likable–especially in the face of Dylan Park’s awkward charm.

(?1. I’m not completely sure if this is the route I wanna take. I don’t know if I want to tie the mutation to sex chromosomes or anything like that. I’ve left it a bit open-ended for now. Though eventually I’m going to have to come up with some explanations. Which seems really painful.)

*

I think I’m currently having an epiphany.

“Paradigm Shift” is NOT the start of a new series. It’s just another standalone novel in an expanding universe.

I mean, I’ve got this scene in my head of scientists switching on their gate machine, and being sucked through to the other side. Where they are made to face the consequences of their actions and the devastation they’ve wreaked on this alternate reality.

–

Yeah. Basically every story I’ve written has somehow become part of one sprawling multiverse.

And Melissa Kim is chasing Damien Prince while alternate versions of herself and Variants of Vereint are ruthlessly murdered.

The Way of the Househusband 01 at Amazon
0 comments on "RE MOVIE: “Sunshine” is such a beautiful movie #scifimovies"

There’s something about the science fiction movie “Sunshine” that makes me watch it every time it comes on TV.

I own a copy of the DVD.

It’s just such a great science fiction movie that I can’t resist the allure of watching it when it appears.

You have to see it from the beginning, so you can understand the story and be sucked into the madness.

Continue Reading RE MOVIE: “Sunshine” is such a beautiful movie #scifimovies
Allies & Enemies at Amazon
1 comment on "Today was a bad day"

Today was a bad day and I’m having a hard time pretending that it wasn’t.

Everyone seemed much happier and more relaxed once I left the living room and went upstairs.

I guess the problem was me. It usually is.

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I haven’t been posting a whole lot because I don’t want to bring everybody down. In my depressed moments, there’s a gaping well of blackness inside me, a bottomless drop ready to pull in anyone that’s not ready for it. Then things cycle, and while the complaint still lingers on my lips I’m laughing about something and I forget all the reasons why I was so angry and upset.

Realizing that you’re spiraling doesn’t help. Especially when everyone around you is picking you apart at every moment.

It’s exhausting.

*

Everybody’s so unhappy. It’s like the house is full of poison.

No matter what direction I turn, there’s only frowning faces. And being me, I can’t help switching to Appeasement Mode, which means receiving tons of abuse and not having the emotional wherewithal to deal with it.

There’s a lot of anxiety involved when you’re driven to make unhappy people happy. Especially when they don’t want to be happy.

Because even knowing that it’s all fake–that none of the anxiety, the dread, or the overwhelming sense of despair are real–they feel real.

And if you live something deep enough, long enough, doesn’t it become real?

Maybe I’m projecting my unhappiness to some degree, but not completely. It’s a fact: I am not the only unhappy person in my family.

I’m just the only one willing to admit it.

Faizel 02 at Amazon
1 comment on "Times in my life"

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There are times in my life when I feel as though I’m falling into the moment.

My skin is melting off. And no one else can see. But I feel the weight pulling me down.

It’s strange. — The breaking apart. // It leaves me breathless.

One moment I’ll be washing dishes. The next … here I am.

My fingertip throbs with a deep, badly healing gash. // I must have forgotten to take care of me again.

Sometimes I wander through the grocery store, squirreling away the monthly supplies. It feels like everyone is looking at me. (They are. They are. They so fucking are.)

I think learning programming languages is calming me down. // It’s like I’m visiting a whole different world. — I made a JavaScript thing (Story Prompt Generator).

Time is passing by — it takes me with it. // I worry sometimes that I’m going to forget myself and disappear.

But worrying does nothing but add to worries. // Everything is going to be all right.

Somehow.