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Reads with Rachel on YouTube has really made me want to read "An Elderly Lady Must Not Be Crossed" by Helene Tursten (Amazon link: https://amzn.to/45Lzlxg).

Summary: "Don’t let her age fool you. Maud may be nearly ninety, but if you cross her, this elderly lady is more sinister than sweet.

"Just when things have finally cooled down for 88-year-old Maud after the disturbing discovery of a dead body in her apartment in Gothenburg, a couple of detectives return to her doorstep. Though Maud dodges their questions with the skill of an Olympic gymnast a fifth of her age, she wonders if suspicion has fallen on her, little old lady that she is. The truth is, ever since Maud was a girl, death has seemed to follow her.

"In these six interlocking stories, memories of unfortunate incidents from Maud’s past keep bubbling to the surface. Meanwhile, certain Problems in the present require immediate attention. Luckily, Maud is no stranger to taking matters into her own hands . . . even if it means she has to get a little blood on them in the process.

"Includes cookie recipes"
The Elderly Lady series sounds like a fun series.

Like, if you’ve read the Dexter books, you know that there was a courageous attempt at humor that didn’t really land. There’s a reason they removed so much of that nonsense for the TV series. It doesn’t work in a visual medium.

And like, nobody really wants a serial killer running around in real life. They’re just incredibly problematic people. In every regard.

But there’s something charming about reading dark humor serial killer books. There doesn’t need to be a load of drama. No police chases. No "I have to make a horrifyingly gory murder trap to kill a bunch of people so I can cover up all the murders I committed before" shenanigans.

Have you ever seen the 1996 movie "The Last Supper" starring Cameron Diaz, Ron Eldard, Annabeth Gish, Jonathan Penner, and Courtney B. Vance as five graduate students sharing a house? Through a series of events, they begin killing people and burying their bodies in the backyard. Which results in some phenomenal tomatoes.

It’s like the "Death Note" without the Death Note and global access to the Internet. They swiftly go from killing people "that deserve it" to killing people that they feel even moderately judgmental about.

The setting is perfect. You couldn’t make that movie in a modern setting. It’s the lack of cellphones and the inability to tell anyone what’s happening that makes the movie.

If those events were being shown in a movie today, people would be wondering why some of those dinner guests weren’t letting people know that they’ve found themselves having dinner with weirdos. And at least one of them would have location services turned on.

Being set in 1996, people could completely disappear like that. You’d get in a car to travel across the country, and unless you stopped in every town and used the payphone to call someone and tell them where you were… They would just be like "So-and-so is supposed to show up on Thursday."

There was no way to contact someone because you wouldn’t know where they were.

So in "The Last Supper," all those people they disappeared could have fallen into a black hole for all anyone knew.

And that’s kind of how I feel about "An Elderly Lady Must Not Be Crossed." From what I understand, it’s a collection of short stories about an elderly lady that uses peoples’ ageism to get away with her current murders. And in between, there’s recountings of some of the murders she committed throughout the years, starting at a relatively young age.

She got away with her crimes because she was doing them before the 2000s. And after that she was "just an old lady" that nobody let themselves suspect.

There are so many "famous" real life serial killers that never would have gotten away with their crimes for so long if they hadn’t lived in the past. Like, the story of one of Jeffrey Dahmer’s teenaged victims escaping mostly naked into the street only to be returned to him by THE POLICE is mindboggling. There’s no way that could happen now because someone would be reviewing the bodycam footage later and go "What the fuck was that?!?"

So I’m interested in reading a book series about an older person getting away with murder because of ageism. To have all suspicion be turned away by her claims of "Oops, had a senior moment."

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.
https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.
https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

I probably got Google thinking I was hacking into my own email account. I backed out of their little “harder level” verification like 90 times before I said “Fuck it.”

I don’t know if they still have human employees or not, but at the very least they should be paying professionals to test their shit.

I hate being told “Your data has been breached!” when I’m just trying to go about my day.

You don’t know how miserable it can be.

To be in a downbeat mood and BAM! News everywhere about how some company I’m “supposed to trust” falls to the level of being unfeeling inhuman monsters.

Dude, a “simulation” isn’t real. You’re running all these data points and nonsense and blowing it out your ass…

and like: real people will always throw a wrench in the works.

Why aren’t your stocks doing well?

Hey, mf’er, it’s your own fault! It’s not mentioning to the companies churning out your dividend payouts that you don’t like them being evil.

It’s having stocks in terrible companies and NOT opening up your mouth and being like “Hey, dudes: I’d like it if you’d stop mindlessly killing people. People are willing to pay the money. Which means we can make our whatever without destroying the world and killing everything in our path.”

For reals: Your $15 essential product doesn’t need to be that serious.

You make something that people need even if they don’t realize they want it. You don’t have to cut so many corners that your product becomes a safety hazard.

Pay for a quality build. DO THE RESEARCH. Slave labor is not a good thing. That’s not a materials source that you should be cozying up to. Your little whatever should not pay to contaminate a local water supply.

“I don’t eat meat because every hamburger has a face”-people–or the ones that just say that shit for the giggles–need to also keep in mind the production process of their favorite gadget.

Nobody wants to find out that a company that now makes juice products once caused a government to be overthrown, resulting in the deaths of countless generations. (“Your family incense stops here.” Taps the middle of a once long line.)

So if you’re making and selling your own products… When the manufacturing company asks you what source material you want to use to make your whatever, say the one that doesn’t provide the money that’s used to keep people in slavery conditions. Give a pass to the material that comes straight from human and environmental misery.

Sell your products in a store at an affordable cost. “The price of materials including shipping to your facility + the level of difficulty + the time it takes + a fair amount of profit” is the cost. The level of difficulty and the time it takes is the money you pay employees–and “CEO makes 110% more than everyone else!” should not be a consideration.

Then make an advertisement/social media post mentioning that people would appreciate receiving your essential product, which makes “community gifting awesome fun!” a venue for your product. Give bulk order discounts. (You’ll still be making a profit. And it will be a real profit, and not a result of cutting corners.)

Give up on the idea of “200% profit” margins. Whoever’s urging you to “rake in the money” isn’t taking into account what would happen if the people really did decide to eat themselves some “tasty” wealthy-looking people. (A lot of people watched Hannibal for the foodporn. Just saying.)

[Mental image: Those coin machines at “the fun zone” where the coins drop in and pile up. You pay to sweep the arm to try and drop money. Just a pile of QUARTERS glistening with silver light under the blazing white bulbs. And your eyes get caught on that MONEY and you can’t help thinking about all the things you could buy with that money. And then when you win, it drops tokens or tickets or whatever the bloated local economy of this hellscape for kids happens to be. (How many went home to cry once they realized they wasted their allowance on imaginary money?) And the exchange rate is like “500 tickets for one box of Nerds” or some other evil shit. Just a pure cash grab because “kid zones” aren’t allowed to give out cash prizes.

The parents or guardians or struggling aunts and uncles that just wanted a few hours away from their kids in an adult-centered environment… In a time before “everybody has a cellphone”-times, adults would check children in at a shady “kid zone” and leave to go gamble and drink and go have adult time. And those kids would have to hang out and wait. Like, “Here’s $20 that will last you approximately ten minutes of continuous play and a couple coupons for free meals that might or might not work. Be back in 5 to 8 hours. Deuces!”

A lot of places didn’t allow adults entrance. So that’s something? Except you’d get these kids that I really wished my little sister didn’t keep wanting to hang out with. Like, I’d give her the money to pay for the games and I’d lurk on the fringes of her playing with other little kids. But when she got older, I’d be able to sit on a bench and read a book or something. I’d keep an eye out, but I’d have to let her play with other kids. There was only $20. Not enough money for us both to play. And some of those kids were seriously troubled.

So like, adults couldn’t enter the “fun zone” to keep the pervs out… but some of those kids did pervy things and the “childcare providers” on scene were busy standing at a podium or behind a prize counter not giving a shit unless some kid started scream-crying.

And that “not really a cash prize machine” would take pride of place in the middle of the room. And there’d be some kid with a handful of quarters that would feed all their money into the machines hoping they would get a big win and the arm would sweep all the coins out for them. Forget any kids that want to play after them. The dream was to WIN IT ALL! and like buy a car or something.]

Remember that Buffy episode where Cordelia made that life affirming wish?

I mean, I don’t know if it was life-affirming in the moment. But she definitely let go of her love for Xander.

She didn’t remember the horror she lived through (and died from), but there was some kind of hold left on her soul. No conscious memory, but she didn’t hesitate to move on with her life after the wish world was broken.

And like, in that wish world everyone wore drab colors and tried to keep a low sense of presence because the vampires were attracted to bright colors and bright people. Because before they were turned, they had bitterness and unhappiness in them that was only enhanced by their new existence.

Some people don’t want to see others being happy. That’s a fact.

It’s like “I have so much money that I can’t spend it all in fifty lifetimes, but I can’t feel rich unless you and your children don’t have clean water to drink and you end up with a life sentence in prison if you even THINK about moving your kid to a better school district.” And then they wonder why everybody hates them and wishes they were dead.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.
https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.
https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

Dude: Roasts are always unpleasant.

They are not for the enjoyment of the roasted. Especially if they have any sense of shame or emotional fragility.

I don’t think roasts are fun.

I’ve seen funny little clips from some, but for the most part a roast is an unpleasant experience.

Choosing to be roasted? Saying "Yeah. Please make the most hurtful and burning jokes about my appearance, my relationships, my children (whether they exist or not), my gender, my sexuality, my genitals, and the tattoos I got when I was barely coping with reality." doesn’t seem great to me. I myself would make a different choice.

Just say "No, thank you" when someone asks whether you want to be roasted.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.
https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.
https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

I’ve always read. I’m constantly taking in content that’s in a written language. But I haven’t really been reading canon content for a while.

I read all the books. Then I stopped.

That didn’t mean they didn’t continue to make new books.

I just haven’t had the mental resources to read the canon material. Not when the fics are all laid out there.

But recently I’ve been enjoying Chinese novels.

Like this one right now:

• Dude, don’t test someone’s blindness by throwing a basketball at them!!! WTF is wrong with you? Who raised you??? * He’s got a serious anger issue. It’s a diagnosis he carries. * He’s very rich, but currently a bit of a family disgrace.
• She just had eye surgery after being blind for years. So she’s just starting to get her sight back and has to wear sunglasses. * She whacks him with her cane when he tries to snatch her sunglasses.

Her complete disgust with him is causing him to change and become a better person.

I enjoy drama stories.

I hate drama in real life.

Anyways.