Our cat Lemon passed away January 26th from organ failure. From the X-ray\/CT scan the vet said her heart was too big, likely a condition she was born with, and her lungs were failing. So they painlessly euthanized her.<\/p>\n
Since she was little we’ve been dealing with her asthma, but because the inhalers are so expensive we weren’t able to get her a full body scan. It was either inhaler or scan, then if the scan said she needed inhalers we’d be out of luck. So we went with the vet’s assumption of asthma and treated her condition as best we could.<\/p>\n
I feel bad because I used the Devil Brush on her and pulled her skin and I spent a whole week suffering from guilt and not knowing what to do. And I still feel as though I added to her misery and worsened her condition and I’m a terrible person and…<\/p>\n
But really, the reason why I bought the brush and started trying to groom her myself is because she hadn’t been grooming herself. Not for awhile. And she was having more asthma attacks where she would lay in the hallway and pant for breath.<\/p>\n
There would be nights when I couldn’t sleep because I would worry that she would die and nobody would be there.<\/p>\n
And I don’t really know what would have been worse: Being there when she passed away, or finding her stiff in the morning.<\/p>\n
But this whole week has been so hard.<\/p>\n
Cats and dogs come into our lives, and inevitably–for most of us–they leave first. And we’re forced to say goodbye before we’re ready.<\/p>\n
POEM: For Lemon 1\/26\/24<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t know if there\u2019s a heaven for cats
\nor what happens after any of us die
\nbut I hope I see you again someday
\nsomehow or somewhen
\nand I can touch your fur again
\nand stroke your soft head
\nand hear your little \u201cMew!\u201d as you demand \u201cMore!\u201d
\nTo feel you wind around my legs
\nand hear your bell jingle as you run
\nso that I always know you\u2019re there
\neven when you\u2019re hiding under the chair
\nor running up and down the stairs
\nand peeking in and out of my room
\nletting me brush my hand down your back as I lay in bed.
\nThe feel of your little feet on my chest
\nthe pleasant feel of under your chin
\nthe sight of you curled up in front of the heater
\nor taking up the whole chair
\neven though your body was small
\nyour presence so much larger than the physical you
\nmaking me miss you like I lost a giant piece of my soul.
\nI wish I\u2019d taken more pictures
\nand saved more memories
\nbecause the without you is forever
\nand I don\u2019t know if I\u2019ll ever see you again
\nor if this life was it
\nand our moments have passed
\nand I\u2019ve lost my sweetest friend.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"