A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE<\/p>\n
by Harper Kingsley<\/p>\n
"What is this?" Vereint asked, walking around the stack of flat pak boxes curiously.<\/p>\n
Warrick looked up from his cross-legged position on the floor to give a welcoming smile. "What, no kiss hello?"<\/p>\n
Vereint shook his head with a fond smile, but agreeably leaned down to give Warrick a peck on the lips. "There. Now what is all this?"<\/p>\n
"This," Warrick said, "is a gift from the new CEO of the Partridge Corporation. He’s trying to seduce me into business with his company."<\/p>\n
"But what is it?" Vereint flopped on the floor next to Warrick, leaning against his arm until Warrick wrapped it around him. Warrick didn’t mind, always happy to have Vereint nearby.<\/p>\n
"It’s called a Pear Tree," Warrick said. "Once it’s assembled, it’s like a cat tower for people."<\/p>\n
"What?"<\/p>\n
"Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but that’s how Partridge tried to explain it to me. A seven foot tower for humans. It’s made for climbing, lounging on, and I’m assuming we’re supposed to scratch it with our claws or something. I don’t know. It was a gift and he sent it straight here, so it’s not like I could refuse it."<\/p>\n
"Huh." Vereint opened the nearest box, eyeing the poles and boards curiously. There was a piece of cardboard labeled "Hardware" in red taped to the lid that held vacuum packed nuts, bolts, washers, and an allen wrench. "At least it comes with tools."<\/p>\n
"There’s supposed to be everything you need to assemble it in the kit," Warrick said.<\/p>\n
Vereint found a sheet of full color drawings and turned it this way and that. "Is this some kind of sex thing?"<\/p>\n
"What?" Warrick peered at the paper. "What are you seeing that I’m not?"<\/p>\n
Vereint’s grin was naughty. "I’m seeing that you’re home and I’m home, and these boxes can wait for later, don’t you think? How often do we get the place to ourselves with no expected interruptions?"<\/p>\n
"When you put it like that…" Warrick stood and held out his hand to tug Vereint to his feet.<\/p>\n
.<\/p>\n
By the time Melissa returned from her sleepover the Partridge Pear Tree had been assembled and had pride of place in the library. It was seven feet tall and spread wider than the height of either of them. This allowed them to lay down full length on the hammock section or curl up together on one of the four round platforms.<\/p>\n
"I’m not sure what he’s expecting from you," Vereint had said upon first trying the human cat tower, "but I think I like this thing. Tell Partridge he’s got a winner with this Pear Tree."<\/p>\n
Melissa, on seeing the human cat tower, crossed her arms and eyed it suspiciously. "Do you guys wait until I’m not around to buy weird things because you know I would poo-poo all over your ideas? What even is this thing? Where did you buy it, from one of those weird infomercials you keep letting suck you in?" She raised an eyebrow at Vereint.<\/p>\n
"Hey, I… I feel very attacked right now," Vereint said, and Warrick laughed when Vereint began chasing Melissa around the apartment. He was moving at normal human speed, and her shrieking laughter rang through the rooms as she ran.<\/p>\n
When Melissa came back into the library, she threw herself at the human cat tower and climbed rapidly upward to the very top platform. "I’m king of the mountain!" she yelled.<\/p>\n
Vereint didn’t try to climb up after her. He tipped his head back and grinned at her, so wide that it squeezed his eyes nearly shut. "So I guess you like this thing, huh?"<\/p>\n
Melissa rolled onto her back, her dark hair hanging down over the edge. "Yeah. I guess this thing seems pretty fun. We can keep it."<\/p>\n
"Well, thank you very kindly, Your Majesty."<\/p>\n