{"id":4450,"date":"2017-06-06T22:50:00","date_gmt":"2017-06-07T05:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/?p=4450"},"modified":"2023-10-17T23:34:54","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T06:34:54","slug":"times-in-my-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/times-in-my-life\/","title":{"rendered":"Times in my life"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There are times in my life when I feel as though I&#8217;m falling into the moment.<\/p>\n<p>My skin is melting off. And no one else can see. But I feel the weight pulling me down.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s strange. &#8212; The breaking apart. \/\/ It leaves me breathless.<\/p>\n<p>One moment I&#8217;ll be washing dishes. The next &#8230; here I am.<\/p>\n<p>My fingertip throbs with a deep, badly healing gash. \/\/ I must have forgotten to take care of me again.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes I wander through the grocery store, squirreling away the monthly supplies. It feels like everyone is looking at me. (They are. They are. They <em>so<\/em> fucking are.)<\/p>\n<p>I think learning programming languages is calming me down. \/\/ It&#8217;s like I&#8217;m visiting a whole different world. &#8212; I made a JavaScript thing (<a href=\"http:\/\/kimichee.com\/games\/PromptGenerator\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Story Prompt Generator<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>Time is passing by &#8212; it takes me with it. \/\/ I worry sometimes that I&#8217;m going to forget myself and disappear.<\/p>\n<p>But worrying does nothing but add to worries. \/\/ Everything is going to be all right.<\/p>\n<p>Somehow.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There are times in my life when I feel as though I&#8217;m falling into the moment. My skin is melting off. And no one else can see. But I feel the weight pulling me down. It&#8217;s strange. &#8212; The breaking apart. \/\/ It leaves me breathless. One moment I&#8217;ll be washing dishes. The next &#8230;&hellip;<\/p>\n <a href=\"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/times-in-my-life\/\" title=\"Times in my life\" class=\"entry-more-link\"><span>Read More<\/span> <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Times in my life<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4453,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"Layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[61],"tags":[305],"class_list":["entry","author-harperkingsley0-0","post-4450","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-self-care","tag-falling-up"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2pPoL-19M","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2544,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/trying-to-write-but-i-keep-falling-asleep\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":0},"title":"Trying to write, but I keep falling asleep.","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Trying to write, but I keep falling asleep. That's my brain's default when dealing with writer's block. Seriously, I never feel as though there's nothing to write. My mind is always brimming with plots and characters and all kinds of cool stuff. Unfortunately, sometimes even when the words are there,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mailed&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3933,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/thoughts-today-twisting\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":1},"title":"My thoughts today are twisting","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"November 20, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"My thoughts today are twisting, sparking, tumbling, burning... ^ Sometimes I find myself falling into melancholy thoughts. My brain is working all the time. TRANSCRIPT: YOU'RE GOING TO ROOT AROUND IN THE GARBAGE, THEN QUESTION THE WAY THAT I LIVE? Who the fuck cares what I buy, and what I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Autodidact&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Autodidact","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/autodidact\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"mythoughttoday","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/mythoughttoday-1024x560.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/mythoughttoday-1024x560.png?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/mythoughttoday-1024x560.png?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3713,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/mental-illness-and-the-freelance-writer\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":2},"title":"Mental Illness and the &#8220;Freelance&#8221; Writer","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"September 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"How do people do the freelance writer thing? It seems near to impossible to me. But then again, there are some days when I can barely crawl my way out of bed. There are times when the dom\/sub, master\/slave, caretaker\/caretook dynamic of fiction is really appealing to me. Because for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mailed&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3730,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/ereading-kindles-amazon\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":3},"title":"Ereading; Kindles; Amazon","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"October 30, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"There's talk that the purchase of dedicated ereaders is down, and as the owner of several kindles, I can see why. They're such excellent devices that it's like they never go bad. I've got a second gen kindle and it's still my go-to ereader. Why? Well, it's got side buttons\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Article&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Article","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/article\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/10\/display.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":937,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/the-red-bead-001\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":4},"title":"The Red Bead &#8211; 001","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: The Red Bead Author: Harper Kingsley Chapter: 001 Genre: Alternate Universe Rating: teen+ Summary: The story of the Lothams as seen through the eyes of their faithful lackey Lee. From beginning to bloody end. 001-- Every day of the week except Tuesday and Thursday, I hang around the living\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Free Stories&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Free Stories","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/free-stories\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3645,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/cake-the-time-of-her-life-tthl-01\/","url_meta":{"origin":4450,"position":5},"title":"CAKE: The Time of Her Life [TTHL] 01","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"July 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"CAKE: The Time of Her Life [TTHL] Author: Harper Kingsley Tags: Dahl Quinzant, serial Summary: Drabbles strung together in the Cakeverse. Shifting POVs and styles. * I am a constant hand washer. To the point that people have begun to make jokes. Seriously, I wash my hands because I know\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Writing&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Writing","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/writing-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4450","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4450"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4450\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5892,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4450\/revisions\/5892"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4450"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4450"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4450"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}