{"id":4318,"date":"2017-03-27T16:24:24","date_gmt":"2017-03-27T23:24:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/?p=4318"},"modified":"2023-10-17T23:36:32","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T06:36:32","slug":"what-is-this-even-weedthoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/what-is-this-even-weedthoughts\/","title":{"rendered":"What is this even #weedthoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"

I write more when I smoke weed. Is that a terrible thing to say? But it’s not like I’m going to mess up anyone’s life if I toke up. I’m not a doctor. I don’t drive at the moment. I’m not handling anyone’s money.<\/p>\n

I’m a very nervous person. I don’t quite know how I got this way, but here I am. Broken before I even started; that one colored pencil that draws a few vibrant lines of color, then the tip falls out. Eventually you get tired of always having to resharpen something.<\/p>\n

Left to my own devices, I would sit somewhere and read.<\/p>\n

It’s only necessity that gets me washing dishes and wiping down counters. It’s only the people around me that keep me from winding down and just stopping somewhere. A silent, motionless humanoid shape, gradually losing all definition as it is caught in the spell of time.<\/p>\n

So I smoke some weed.<\/p>\n

It focuses my mind on the here-and-now. My brain chemistry has always been a bit different (that’s the problem you know, my brain chemistry. Ups, downs, and the short in-betweens). One Sudafed knocked me out for 12 hours once. I hallucinated for hours on a sleeping pill. Coffee calms me down. Music pours itself into my skull, reshaping my mood with its passage. And weed breaks me out of my obsessive compulsions.<\/p>\n

If I start reading a book, I am driven to finish it. No sleep. No food. No rest.<\/p>\n

I learned to read fast as a survival technique. It’s how I can read something like Dune in three hours and finish the whole series in a weekend.<\/p>\n

As a kid, I would get weird notions caught in my head. I remember being abducted by aliens, the light shining everywhere, the gladness of never having to go back–It must have been a vivid dream for a child to have, because for years in my preteens and early teens, I was waiting for them to come back like they promised. I got a notion in my head that aliens had taken me up, and I believed it. Quietly in my head, child-me was sure someone was going to come and take me away.<\/p>\n

My teenage years were hard. The giving up of childhood things and the entry into the real world. I took things especially hard.<\/p>\n

I’m pragmatic. I’m agnostic to most religions–I don’t believe but I don’t disbelieve either; anything is possible in the afterlife. I love beautiful things, but I don’t have many beautiful things in my life. I’m prickly. I’m perky. I’m weird. I’ve got wacky brain chemistry.<\/p>\n

Smoking weed helps me focus my thoughts. It breaks my obsessive thinking. It lets me write coherent prose.<\/p>\n

And it’s legal in my state for recreational use.<\/p>\n

*<\/p>\n

BTW, I got these waterbrushes<\/a> from Amazon, and I’m trying my hand at watercolors<\/a>.<\/p>\n

It is not going as well as I was hoping. But maybe someday I’ll be good.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I write more when I smoke weed. Is that a terrible thing to say? But it’s not like I’m going to mess up anyone’s life if I toke up. I’m not a doctor. I don’t drive at the moment. I’m not handling anyone’s money. I’m a very nervous person. I don’t quite know how I…<\/p>\n Read More<\/span> What is this even #weedthoughts<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"Layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-harperkingsley0-0","post-4318","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-much-ado-about-nothing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2pPoL-17E","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3806,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/when-was-the-last-time-you-went-to-the-weed-store\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":0},"title":"When was the last time you went to the weed store?","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"February 28, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Seriously, it is very professional. Clean friendly people in tucked in polos and nice pants. A neat display of products, all properly packaged and labeled. They're running a store. It's not a mom-and-pop operation where they're breaking out the scales and bagging their own stuff as you buy. They order\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Real Life"","block_context":{"text":"Real Life","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/real-life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3841,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/we-are-the-cube\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":1},"title":"We are the Cube","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"PROMPT: \"The Hobbit\" episode of South Park is ultimately about the giving up of integrity and self-image for the perceived worth of public beauty. It's the idea that image has more substance than self. And the sadness at the end when Wendy tearfully gives in to the pressures of society\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailed"","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4213,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/working-on-womens-world-again-if-anyones-interested\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":2},"title":"Working on “Women’s World” again, if anyone’s interested","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"February 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I re-downloaded Twine and I'm back working on \"Women's World\". It's pretty bare-bones at the moment, but it's coming together. Into what, I'm not sure. But it's GLORIOUS. Basically, the character starts out in a life of poverty and depending on the choices you make, her life heads in different\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailed"","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":232,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/anyone-want-a-copy-of-ersatz-available-friday-or-saturday-for-purchase-mm-romance\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":3},"title":"Anyone want a copy of “Ersatz,” available soon? mm contemporary romance","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"January 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"So, this little thing I've been working on, \"Ersatz,\" will be available soon for $0.99 purchase. It's a short piece, though it's wormed its way into my black little heart. I'm looking to give away 10 free epub copies, so if anyone's interested, just leave a comment and I'll email\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Discounts & Specials"","block_context":{"text":"Discounts & Specials","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/discounts-specials\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"\"book cover: Ersatz\"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/ersatz.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":937,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/the-red-bead-001\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":4},"title":"The Red Bead – 001","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 2, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Title: The Red Bead Author: Harper Kingsley Chapter: 001 Genre: Alternate Universe Rating: teen+ Summary: The story of the Lothams as seen through the eyes of their faithful lackey Lee. From beginning to bloody end. 001-- Every day of the week except Tuesday and Thursday, I hang around the living\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Free Stories"","block_context":{"text":"Free Stories","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/free-stories\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3795,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/every-person-thats-reached-adulthood-has-that-moment-when-they-wonder-how-their-life-turned-out-like-this\/","url_meta":{"origin":4318,"position":5},"title":"Every person that’s reached adulthood has that moment when they wonder how their life turned out like this","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"January 25, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Every person that's reached adulthood has that moment when they wonder how their life turned out like this. Mine came as I was racing down the highway trying to shoot out the tires of my drug dealer's '64 Impala. I'll be honest, I'm not much of a drug user. A\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailed"","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4318"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5970,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4318\/revisions\/5970"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4318"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4318"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4318"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}