{"id":3289,"date":"2014-10-22T21:59:38","date_gmt":"2014-10-23T04:59:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/?p=3289"},"modified":"2023-10-17T23:37:20","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T06:37:20","slug":"i-hate-that-i-get-caught-up-in-internet-drama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/i-hate-that-i-get-caught-up-in-internet-drama\/","title":{"rendered":"I hate that I get caught up in Internet drama"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t know what it says about my personality that I allow myself to become so upset about things I read on the Internet. Sure, there might be lots of people on the Internet going around doing whatever it is that they do, but in all honesty the Internet is not the real world. It is a group delusion perpetrated by millions of people all imagining that they’re existing on the same page mentally, when actually every person is alone.<\/p>\n

When you’re interacting with people online, you infer a lot from the things things they say or don’t say. A missed emoticon takes the joke out of a statement and turns a person into a creepy psychopath. A dropped connection leaves someone imagining that they are hated or that they have been proven right with their strawman argument. And somewhere out there–like 900 times a day the world over–someone is being an abusive troll because it’s “fun” (not funny, just fun to them).<\/p>\n

The world is a strange place filled with many strange people. I know, because I’m a strange person myself. I read non-mainstream things, I write non-mainstream things, I don’t enjoy reality television or most current popular television (I find it asinine, as though the creators are purposely insulting my intelligence), and sometimes–when the moon is high and I’m feeling adventuresome–I visit sites like Cracked, Quartz, or BuzzFeed and gorge myself on their offerings of humor and world news.<\/p>\n

I enjoy Cracked the most because the articles are humorous and edutaining–I’ve learned a surprising amount from Cracked articles, and that’s no lie. Quartz is a new site on my radar, mostly centered on world news in the form of interesting articles, and they’ve given me some information I otherwise wouldn’t have come across. And then there’s BuzzFeed.<\/p>\n

Ah, BuzzFeed. By turns interesting, horrifying, and straight up garbage (seriously, a single picture and a 30-word caption does not an article make). BuzzFeed is what is politely termed a time suck. You follow the click-bait–a list of recipes, a DIY article, pics of a celebrity baby, whatever–and nine hours later you realize you desperately need the bathroom and your kid hasn’t been fed. It’s never a good idea to visit BuzzFeed on a day when you have to get things done, because there’s a real chance you’re going to wake up from your fugue state to discover it’s nighttime.<\/p>\n

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going on BuzzFeed–there’s not a lot of reading, there’s plenty of pictures, and everything’s in an easy to follow list format. But there are some times when the related articles and what-have-yous all lead to articles designed to raise my blood pressure. I understand how the Internet can spawn so many social justice samurai–as though a “I hate this, and I hate you because you’re stoopid” comment will change the world. There are times when I’m tempted to get out my own sword, until I realize the article that’s making me so outraged is ten months old and I’m forced to skulk back into my cave of despair.<\/p>\n

Lately it seems as though everyday brings a new drama to my mental doorstep. I get sucked into the problems of the world, and even though I try to make my heart a stone, I find my emotions getting exploited against my will.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I wish that I could just stop caring. I’d be a much happier person.<\/p>\n

* * *
(NOTE: If you follow the centuries old adage of “Leave your drama to your mama,” then you’re probably not going to want to read much further. That beginning part was pretty much the meat and potatoes of my meandering babble. The rest of this… It’s the reason why I’ve seriously contemplated quitting the Internet and joining a monastery ala Fortunato from the Wild Cards series<\/a>.)<\/p>\n

The Internet drama that’s ruined my mood lately:<\/p>\n

So this happened => ‘Am I being catfished?’ An author confronts her number one online critic<\/a> <= (goes through Do Not Link to prevent rewarding of bad behavior) and the Internets exploded<\/i>, and quite rightly. Seriously, the article should better be titled “‘Am I a frightening and possibly dangerous stalker?’ An author breaks every rule of common decency and displays threatening behavior toward a reader.”<\/p>\n

“On the importance of pseudonymous activity<\/a>” — Dear Author talks about it. Includes a breakdown of everything that happened with a more honest timeline than the author presented (seriously, she was all “I was victimized and lied to, and I’m a fierce warrior that regained my strength through hunting a person across the Internet” when really it was more like “People should be afraid I’m out on the street because I see myself as a victim and I have no problem using my fiance and his family to do whatever the heck I want”).<\/p>\n

“Victim or Perpetrator<\/a>?” — Author Jim C Hines gives his view on the article. Which includes the advice to authors: Don’t do any of this.<\/p>\n

“Author Stalks Anonymous Blogger Who Gave Her a 1-Star Review<\/a>” — “filed to:SHITSTORMS” is about right. Jezebel covers the story.<\/p>\n

“Poisoning the Well<\/a>” — Dear Author’s Letters of Opinion points out why being a creepy author isn’t a good idea and the effect it has on the book community at large. Basically, everyone is terrified that an “author behaving badly” moment is going to turn into a “reader\/reviewer gets attacked by a deranged author” news story. No one wants to see that happen, and the fact that publishing companies aren’t doing anything to protect their customers or to denounce author bad behavior is spawning some sour feelings all around.<\/p>\n

“The Choices of Kathleen Hale<\/a>” — Smart Bitches, Trashy Books takes on the topic.<\/p>\n

EDITED TO ADD: “Hale vs Harris, and the Breach of Online Ethics<\/a>” — a great breakdown of events. This ones a good post if you’re following the drama.<\/p>\n

TL;DR, in a very me-centered essay published by The Guardian (who should know better), author Kathleen Hale recounts her adventures in stalking a reviewer online, whereby she follows it up by SHOWING UP AT THE WOMAN’S HOUSE. Seriously, she was wandering around the reviewer’s yard, peeking in through her car windows, and lurking around the front door. I think that the only reason she didn’t break a window and go in was because there was a silhouette of a person at an upstairs window watching her (probably wondering WTF she was doing) and a dog barking inside. Otherwise she would have probably been in there trying on some clothes and drawing a big red smiley face on a bedroom wall in her victim’s blood.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This whole story gives me a cold chill. Not just because people actually defended her actions while lambasting the reviewer on her word alone, but because she’s out there roaming the streets right now. There comes a point when friends and family need to step in and deal with a person’s mental health, and this scenario? It’s a big red flag, especially in conjunction with her previous experience of going after another person.<\/p>\n

I don’t read a lot of YA books, but this is one author that’s going on my permanent Do Not Want list. If I had a teenaged kid in my life, I’d tell them to stay away too, just in case she got a little<\/i> too interested and showed up on my doorstep. Because this is someone that doesn’t just stalk people and display dangerous amounts of obsessive behavior, this is someone that then precedes to doxx her victim in a national newspaper (which doesn’t have the best reputation, but still!) in an attempt to drum up sympathy for her own crimes. As though stalking someone online or in real life is ever<\/i> going to be okay.<\/p>\n

In conclusion: Ugh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t know what it says about my personality that I allow myself to become so upset about things I read on the Internet. Sure, there might be lots of people on the Internet going around doing whatever it is that they do, but in all honesty the Internet is not the real world. It…<\/p>\n Read More<\/span> I hate that I get caught up in Internet drama<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"Layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[65],"tags":[523],"class_list":["entry","author-harperkingsley0-0","post-3289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-signal-boost","tag-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2pPoL-R3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5768,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/my-mind-is-filled-with-everyday-horrors-beyond-all-imagining\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":0},"title":"My mind is filled with everyday horrors beyond all imagining","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 27, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"So, like, a couple of weeks ago there was a news story that like 14 or 17 people--including children--were poisoned by over-chlorinated water in a lazy river. They had to go to the hospital and they all had a really bad time. Someone suggested that maybe someone had an accident\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6735,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/the-internet-was-down\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":1},"title":"The Internet was down","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"May 4, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"The Internet was out all night and day :( It sucks and I couldn't help the paranoid thought--\"Why did the police cut out the Internet? What are they doing?\"--that popped in my head. I hate that they've been so entirely awful at their jobs that my first thought is starting\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 1 comment","block_context":{"text":"With 1 comment","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/the-internet-was-down\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4182,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/social-media-shitstorm\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":2},"title":"Social Media Shitstorm","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"February 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I saw this on Cracked =>http:\/\/www.cracked.com\/blog\/how-to-lose-your-entire-career-in-two-minutes-twitter\/<= and it gave me a \"Well, of course\" moment. Of course you police your language on the Internet, especially if you're using your fucking WORK profile. Or if you're the public FACE of your company. -- You don't want the face of your company\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Around the Internet"","block_context":{"text":"Around the Internet","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/around-the-internet\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5370,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/people-peeing-videos-commentary-about-videos-no-actual-videos-no-love\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":3},"title":"People Peeing Videos (commentary about videos, no actual videos) — no love","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"August 6, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Thinking about things. I was going to focus on \"moral decency,\" but that seems to be a minefield of personal opinion about people wearing skirts that cover their whole ass. So perhaps the term I want is \"human decency.\" The Internet says that \"Basic human decency means not doing or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"cringe\"","block_context":{"text":"cringe","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/tag\/cringe\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3165,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/my-first-thoughts-on-buzzfeeds-paul-ryans-inner-city-education\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":4},"title":"My first thoughts on Buzzfeed’s “Paul Ryan’s Inner City Education”","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"May 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"So, I read this =>http:\/\/www.buzzfeed.com\/mckaycoppins\/paul-ryans-inner-city-education<= on Buzzfeed. It's a good article, a tad sycophantic, and I want to believe that Paul Ryan has taken this opportunity in his life to become a better person. I want to believe that he's turned a corner, and at some point in his future\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Around the Internet"","block_context":{"text":"Around the Internet","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/around-the-internet\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3145,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/the-evils-of-guest-blogging\/","url_meta":{"origin":3289,"position":5},"title":"The evils of guest blogging?","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"April 16, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I am so confused! I got sent this link = http:\/\/searchengineland.com\/matt-cutts-stick-a-fork-in-it-guest-blogging-is-done-182147 = and now I'm just like \"Huh?\" Because obviously I have no idea what I'm doing. I turned off Trackbacks and Pingbacks because of all the spam I was getting, but I guess I should be using the \"nofollow\"\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Around the Internet"","block_context":{"text":"Around the Internet","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/around-the-internet\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"nofollow jpg","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/nofollow.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/nofollow.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/04\/nofollow.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3289"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6223,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3289\/revisions\/6223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}