{"id":2421,"date":"2013-04-26T12:57:36","date_gmt":"2013-04-26T19:57:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.harperkingsley.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/social-anxiety-is-hell\/"},"modified":"2023-10-17T23:38:01","modified_gmt":"2023-10-18T06:38:01","slug":"social-anxiety-is-hell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/social-anxiety-is-hell\/","title":{"rendered":"Social anxiety is hell"},"content":{"rendered":"

Social anxiety is one of those things where people don’t believe you have an issue. There’s always this sense of “Get over it.”<\/p>\n

If that were possible, I wouldn’t have it.<\/p>\n

I posted on some forums and now I’m stressing out because no one’s responded. And I’m not really scared of what they’ll say, because most people don’t go out of their way to be jerks.<\/p>\n

No, I’m afraid I’ve made a fool of myself on the internet again. Just the thought of thousands of people judging me and deciding I’m terrible makes me afraid. I start sweating and I get nervous and my stomach churns with acid. I can’t stand the idea of being hated even by people I don’t know.<\/p>\n

And do you know what helps? Talking about what I’m afraid of. Then step-by-step I work my way through why my fears are ridiculous. And then I think of some things that I can do if the worst happens.<\/p>\n

1. There’s billions of people in the world. Why am I bothered by a few that I will never meet? And besides, not that many people visit this forum and that doesn’t mean any of them will care about the topic.<\/p>\n

2. Everyone makes mistakes. Delete it if it’s bad, otherwise don’t worry about it. If someone asks what I meant, I’ll just explain or not respond. Seriously, who I talk to is my choice, and that includes not answering if I’m not comfortable.<\/p>\n

It’s people that try to come up with excuses that end up building a castle of lies and get into trouble. Just don’t say anything.<\/p>\n

3. Don’t feed the trolls.<\/p>\n

4. I sounded like an asshole, but even if it became big news on the internet for some reason, a surprising amount of people don’t care. Just be cool, keep my head down, most everything blows over
\neventually.<\/p>\n

Seriously, social anxiety disorder is hell. But it’s liveable, manageable hell.<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Read slashy stories at Kimichee<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Pick up a copy of “From Diamond to Coal: Arc One,” by Sol Crafer. A mm superscience novel. Meet. Marriage. Murder.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Social anxiety is one of those things where people don’t believe you have an issue. There’s always this sense of “Get over it.” If that were possible, I wouldn’t have it. I posted on some forums and now I’m stressing out because no one’s responded. And I’m not really scared of what they’ll say, because…<\/p>\n Read More<\/span> Social anxiety is hell<\/span><\/a>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"Layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[36],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-harperkingsley0-0","post-2421","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","category-kindled"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2pPoL-D3","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":155,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/what-im-doing-and-not-doing-now\/","url_meta":{"origin":2421,"position":0},"title":"What I’m doing and NOT doing now","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"November 16, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"This month has been one in which I have not wanted to do much at all, which is ridiculous since I'm supposed to be participating in NaNoWriMo. 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Sometimes I can't control the volume of my voice so I mutter and mumble or I nearly shout and my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mailed"","block_context":{"text":"Mailed","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/kindled\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4456,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/today-bad-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":2421,"position":3},"title":"Today was a bad day","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"June 11, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Today was a bad day and I'm having a hard time pretending that it wasn't. Everyone seemed much happier and more relaxed once I left the living room and went upstairs. I guess the problem was me. It usually is. * I haven't been posting a whole lot because I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Self-Care"","block_context":{"text":"Self-Care","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/self-care\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1332,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/audiophobe1\/","url_meta":{"origin":2421,"position":4},"title":"I’ve implemented audio posts for the vision impaired","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"July 31, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Audio [powerpress] Over the next few days, I will be working to add audio posts to big chunks of my blog. I'm not going to go back through and pod everything, but I will be doing my free reads for sure. Hopefully I'll be keeping my podcasts up to date\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Real Life"","block_context":{"text":"Real Life","link":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/category\/real-life\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4122,"url":"https:\/\/harperkingsley.net\/blog\/its-the-apocalypse-charlie-frown-hes-signed-death-orders-for-the-aca\/","url_meta":{"origin":2421,"position":5},"title":"It’s the Apocalypse, Charlie Frown: He’s signed death orders for the #ACA","author":"Harper Kingsley","date":"January 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I cannot believe that any of this is happening. => http:\/\/www.cnn.com\/2017\/01\/20\/politics\/trump-signs-executive-order-on-obamacare\/ <= The article is worded in a weird way -- as though he's defeated some horrible beast. When really what he's doing is killing millions of Americans. * Everything feels a bit surreal right now. 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