RL

Okay, so sometimes my brother can be a dick. I laugh about it, but he’s always getting me with stupid stuff.

We were watching like Animal Planet or something and it was all stories about amazing animals and their feats. So during the commercial, The Girl blurts out “Penguins can fly!”

I scoffed like really loudly, “No they can’t. Whoever told you that is stupid because penguins can’t fly.” I probably sounded a little too irritated, but she’s always coming out with stupid shit to try and get as much attention as possible. She’s still trying to fit into our family because she only came to live with all of us during the summer, and now we’re staying at my Dad’s house. Three strong willed adults leaves a couple of kids that don’t really get away with a whole lot, especially the lies she likes to tell. (The most worrisome thing for me is that she actually seems to believe her lies, even the really crazy ones.)

Anyways, that whole penguins flying thing had me just snapping out as fast as possible to tell her that it wasn’t real. She kept insisting it was true, and we got into this whole deal, going rounds and rounds.

Then my brother goes, “Check this out” and turns his computer.

On the screen was like a National Geographic type show with penguins flying around. “The only penguins that are able to fly and who love to migrate to like the Bahamas.”

For a minute, my brain just stalled and I was like “It’s impossible, but it might be true.” And I was really kind of getting into the idea of it, when there was a snap and I was like “No way. I call Shenanigans! It’s like that spiders smoking weed video. FAKE!”

And my brother laughed and turned his computer to the spider video.

It was good to laugh like that, and thinking about it now, I’m still laughing.

That’s the kind of thing I get nostalgic for afterwards.

BTW, my brother just said that Hank Hill got raped by a dolphin. Seems legit.

Witch King at Amazon

Really not all that bad. For serious.

We were sitting around mid-week, completely bored out of our minds (or at least, some of us were. Others were watching kdramas on Hulu and dreaming about flying to Korea to corrupt some youth.) Anyways, my dad put on “Season of the Witch,” a movie that had been on our Instant Queue for a ridiculous amount of time.

The movie opens up with the killing of a bunch of women accused of witchcraft and just keeps right on rolling. There was like no let up at all, it was just this fast-paced ride through a countryside ravaged by the Black Plague. And Behmen (Nicolas Cage) and his guy, Felson (Ron Perlman), are hot out of the Crusades and are charged with helping transport an accused witch for persecution.

If all the swinging of swords and chopping off of limbs in the first fifteen minutes didn’t catch your attention, that’s about when things went full-on action movie. There’s hallucinations, murder, mutilation, a crazed bridge crossing, and at the end of it all… yeah, I’m not going to ruin it for you. (If you want to ruin it for yourself, use the Internet. That’s what it’s there for: ruining the endings of good movies.)

So if you want to watch a movie, eat some popcorn, and maybe have something to yell about with your friends, check out “Season of the Witch.” It’s on Netflix streaming right now, if that’s what you’ve got.

~Pax

Small Gods at Amazon

Title: The Monster a.k.a. Home Sweet Home
Starring: Shu Qi and Alex Fong, Tam Chun-Ho
Summary: A young family moves into a nice Hong Kong high rise and things immediately begin to go badly for them. They’re only there for a short time–maybe a week–when their three year old son Chi Lo is abducted. The mother frantically searches for her son after the police have given up after only a few weeks. Some of her actions during her search–falling through the ceiling, buying a big rottweiler, etc–have some of the other inhabitants of her building thinking that she’s just some crazy woman. But she is certain that some strange, rag-wearing woman has taken her son and she’s not going to stop until she gets him back.

Opinion: Though this movie is classed as a “horror” movie, it would be a mistake to try and judge it by the same criteria as the usual Chinese horror movies (“The Eye,” “Gu-On,” etc.) And even though some parts were a tad overdramatic, it was still very interesting and I actually became very sympathetic of “the monster.”

I would recommend watching this movie, just don’t rate it on the basis of the usual horror movies. Don’t go into it blind and prepare yourself to be moved to tears over the plight of the supposed villain.

Small Gods at Amazon

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Silly stuff: Is there some way I can be known as “Harper Kingsley, God MC” without knowing how to do anything? *~* Listening to “Conquest” by the White Stripes. I realize that it’s practically prehistoric, but it’s still on my playlist. Kind of hard to believe that someday it might be seen as “Classical music” by teens everywhere. *~* So true. You eat ONE White Castle Burger and you’re like “Ugh!” but THIRTY of them? That’s insane, man. “Harold & Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay” is on TV right now. Very nice 🙂 I love NPH, don’t you? *~* If anyone is interested in being given free copies of my stuff, let me know. I’m thinking about picking some pre-readers in return for BJs (just kidding!) [Not really.]

Real life: Nothing much here. Everything good happens in my head. I save all the bad stuff for real life.

Ersatz
by Sol Crafter
genre: mm contemporary romance
audience: ADULT

Summary: Two roommates are asked an incredibly awkward question — “So, what’s it like being in an ersatz homosexual relationship?” — which starts a whole bunch of trouble.