RL

So my grandpa was a self-publishing fool. He signed his books up with two companies and refused to believe they might be shady or anything. Now I have to get his books off their lists, re-edit and reformat everything, and republish them.

He died several years ago and it’s just one of those things – I really don’t want to see his stuff being maintained by a group of people that really don’t care about him or his writings, just the money he paid them (thousands and thousands of dollars. Enough money to just make you sick.) At the time he published his stuff, there wasn’t a whole lot of self-publishing options, so he went with the old-fashioned pay some company to do nothing approach. They got thousands of dollars from him, but he was happy as long as he had a couple copies of his books.

I told the family that I would take over his stuff though. I mean, he put so much of himself into his books, and the sad thing is that they would have been pretty good if he would just have listened to anyone about a few changes. He simply got bogged down by the details – like 1000 words right in the middle of the action about shoeing a horse or loading a wagon,

He tried so hard to be Louis L’Amour, and he simply would not listen about just writing his own stuff. He was such a stubborn, frustrating old man. It’s no wonder he lived to be 97 – he was just too ornery to quit.

And I’ll always remember the time he used “he ejaculated” instead of “he yelled,” then refused to change it even though I kept telling him he should. Then, when I went and changed it for him… he waited until I was gone and put it back. He finally changed it for real when the self-publishing company told him he should. Right up until then, he kept insisting I didn’t know what I was talking about.

Crazy old man.

Fortress in the Eye of Time at Amazon

Okay, so Brian is a complete and total idiot.

*Jillian was wonderful.*

Sure, she wasn’t the smartest of people, but she was warm and caring and really loved him. She seemed like she would be incredibly loyal too, so he would have never had to worry about her cheating on him. She also seemed to be in some way financially independent — she had money for nice clothes, her own apartment, etc. So she might have either had a stable job that paid her well, or some kind of family money. Any way you look at it, she was able to take care of herself and seemed really awesome.

Brian might not have been able to have intellectual conversations with her, but that’s what he has Stewie for. He could have had Jillian for all the comforting relaxing things he’s always trying to get from Lois (you know, like when he talked about her all sweetly when they went to get his award), then he’s got Stewie for the witty conversation.

Brian is kind of a douche bag. I love him because he’s a fluffy looking white dog, but if he were a real guy – I’m with Quagmire in thinking he’s a pretentious dick head.

He went out of his way to make his relationship with Jillian not work. Then he spends the rest of forever whining about how he’s so lonely.

I think the best thing for Jillian was breaking up with Brian. She was a very sweet girl and Brian was an asshole checking out other women and treating her like crap.

He ridiculed Jillian for her stupidity, then got so upset when his intelligence was questioned by [that girl from the “Hills”] (sic) that I was just like “Ha, in your face asshole!”

I just hate the thought that there are guys out there that treat real girls like that and think it’s okay. Some guy has a really great girl, then starts shopping around and breaks up with her, then whines about it when her life turns out way better later.

It’s like, dude: “Greener pastures don’t always mean happier days.” So quit your bitching and deal with the fact that you threw away the best thing you’ll ever have and it’s your own damn fault. I hate that kind of thing in bad romance movies, and I hate it even more in real life.

Sometimes you should just stick with what you have. Happiness is its own reward.

Fortress in the Eye of Time at Amazon

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So I’ve been writing, which is good. It’s about the only thing I have been doing because I don’t have much energy or interest in anything else. I even let my farm on Farmville get all withered, and you would have thought my OCD would have forced me to care for my crops at least.

My current priority projects:
THE BRAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. This story has grown from “that harem thing” to something with a lot more court intrigue and assassination attempts. I’m very enthusiastic about it and I’ve been building a world that I hope other people will enjoy reading about as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it. [words: 100,000+]
FIENDS — [Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Teablossom is a jerk, but I think he’s becoming a creature with a little more depth than he started with. I’m still trying to see what kind of guy Henry is–though like a lot of my other characters he’s somehow managed to become completely neurotic. [words: 30,000+]
VEDRAN’S HAND — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. My weekly opus. The world of Dragon Knight has become a lot richer and fuller than I started with and the characters have gained more depth. Dragon Knight has also become a bit of a sociopath that only cares about Vedran and would kill anyone else that got in his way, but he’s a hot sociopath, so that’s something. [words: 100,000+]

What else is in my stew pot:
ALLIES & ENEMIES — [Harper Kingsley] The sequel to “Heroes & Villains.” This should already be done, but it’s been very painful for me to go back through and add to. I’ve killed so many people in this story that I have to worry it might be a bit too much. [words: 120,000+]
NYXTI — [Harper Kingsley] mm fantasy. So I promised Sam Argent a story, and that’s pretty much this one. Set in the same world as “Vedran’s Hand” and “Black Hood,” but in a different decade. [words: 100,000+]
TUESDAY NIGHT — [Sol Crafter] mm superhero. AU of “Pulse of the City.” Kind of a kid!fic, but really just two guys trying to make a life together. [words: 50,000+]
DOGGY STYLE –[Sol Crafter] mm supernatural. Zack gets turned into a dog, then has to figure out how to get back to being human. [words: 30,000]
ACROSS TWO DIVIDES — [Sol Crafter] So I’m this awful person that killed off this poor guy’s brother, and now I’ve gotta get him past his grief to the point where he’s not just a pile of misery.

Anyways, I’ve got a lot on my plate and I’m moving through it all at a steady pace.


If you’re curious, this is how I write:

  1. I come up with the initial idea. Which can basically be “two guys meet and fall into a relationship that has an HEA” or “a guy really wants to be a superhero, but it doesn’t work out, so he becomes a pretty serious supervillain.”
  2. I expand on the idea in note form. Pages of description, things I think I might want to have take place, even background info that I might not use for that particular story but might use later.
  3. I write a synopsis. A generalized sketch of what I want to have take place in the story. Beginning, middle, and end, though it’s pretty sparse.
  4. I write a serious outline that goes through the scenes one-by-one and includes all the dialogue. My outline could basically be seen as the entire story in compacted form.
  5. Using my outline, I write out the scenes, filling in all the details and richer descriptions of people and scenery.

Sometimes I don’t bother with steps 3, 4 and 5. If I feel like I know the story and the characters well-enough, I just come up with the world they live in and let them go about their business.

My daily quota: 12,000 words.

Small Gods at Amazon

I would never think to lie to anyone and say that I am a happy-go-lucky person… no, I fully admit that I am a terribly moody bitch. But I’m pretty cyclical, so if I time things right I can *fake* it that I’m cheerful most of the time.

Anyways, I’ve noticed the last few days that my taste for life has been degrading rapidly, which is kind of a warning sign that I’m about to go down, down the rabbit hole once again. When I reach my lowest point, about the only thing I have any enthusiasm for is writing–everything else is all just shades of gray. It’s kind of like being a real life zombie. Sure, there’s no craving for brains, but I do shuffle through my days in a mindless stupor.

So there will probably be writing updates here and there, and I am for sure going to make sure I hold to my weekly schedule for “Dragon Knight,” but there’s a good chance that for everything else my contact with the outside world will go dark.

Please do not be offended if I don’t immediately respond to emails or messages. I will try to get back to anyone that messages me, though it might take a little while.

~Pax