Peebled

This all began after trying to watch The Taking of Pelham 123 while intoxicated. Sometimes I let my thoughts wander. They decide to go to strange places.


RE The Taking of Pelham 123 (2009)

I attempted to watch this movie, and it felt like I was waiting and waiting and waiting for something to happen. But nothing ever happens and the action seemed forced. It’s a story with a potential that never appears. The wrong actors were chosen for the roles; the dialogue isn’t very enthralling, but there’s a lot of it; and it felt like a character piece, but they were playing it as an ensemble. There’s the pieces of a good story, if only things had been taken in a different direction.

Seriously, movie dudes, if you’re going to redo a badly done movie, put some work into it. Correct the mistakes of the past and make a better story. Change the setting and the scenario. Make a frickin’ TV movie to create the backdrop of your universe. I mean, that doesn’t really apply to Pelham 123, but for other reboots it seems like a much better idea than destroying everything and not giving people a chance to adapt.

Take Star Trek for instance: I might have appreciated the rebooted movies more if JJ Abrahms had run a TV mini-series explaining all the ginormous changes taking place in the universe. I need a meta to build on in my imagination so I have some idea of what’s going on; it’s the way I enjoy things. I also need a fanbase to fall back on, because when I really like something I immediately search for the fanfiction and the fanart.

Star Trek is a giant franchise. Sure, the reruns of the TV show and the movies were beginning to lose money, but that’s because they’re not syndicated anywhere. Or if they are, they’re not being played in the right way. (Pick a time and stick to it. Nobody needs an episode marathon every night; it burns out the interest quick. Just one episode a night, every night at the same time, maybe two episodes if the show is only a half-hour long. Make sure the episodes run in order, then build your programming around it. The show will begin to pick up interest, as most humans like patterns and stability.

Remember being a kid and racing home to watch your favorite show? It was on every single day at exactly the same time. And even when your life was crazy and stressful and your parents were fighting, your show would always be there for you. Life was falling down, but there was Sailor Moon, there were The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, there were The Tiny Toon Adventures.

Well, dudes, life has gotten hard lately. The economy stinks, war is about to break out all over the place, there’s stress piling up everything; the world seems like it’s about to fall apart and there’s no hope in sight — and I blame all of that on American television programming.

1. We’re showing way too many infomercials, people. It’s beginning to warp the perspectives of the world. We need to start showing the good stuff again. I mean, when someone in the Middle East pays to get American TV, I don’t think they were paying to get our worst crap. It makes people a little testy and it makes us look bad. We need to be more like BBC-America. They seriously put some work behind their programming, and they’re really getting popular. Meanwhile, all the basic cable channels have turned into garbage and I have no idea why. They don’t even bother trying to syndicate shows anymore, and I don’t know if it’s because the copyright holders are charging too much money or if the network owners just don’t care or something.

People still watch TV! People want to watch TV. There’s something soothing about clicking the remote, tuning to a station, and just knowing I’m going to be entertained, no extra thought required. And I haven’t felt like that in a long time. The stability I love and need is gone. And it’s been replaced by some guy trying to sell me Magic Beauty Wonder Cream and softcore pornography commercials starring not very attractive people doing stuff I don’t like.

I want to tune to a station for 2-4 hours and know that there’s going to be something I want to watch. Since there’s never anything good on, I end up watching a lot of American Dad. It can be entertaining and I like the self-contained stories, but I want other stuff to watch too.

Don’t networks ever ask the opinions of their viewers? The big companies keep gobbling up different channels, then they sell out their customers by getting rid of everything that people liked. I get that they’re trying to force people to buy the pricier cable packages, but maybe they’d make more money if they showed a little consideration.

Not everyone has a ton of money to spend on entertainment. $20 a month is a lot of money to some people. They still should have something good to watch on TV.

Shows that rock:
Almost Human [partner cops, sci-fi, action],
American Dad [animated, humor],
Angel [paranormal, drama, action, angst, feelings],
Being Human [paranormal, drama, angst],
Better Off Ted [humor, office, Evil Corporation],
Bones [FBI, crime-solving partners, ],
Buffy the Vampire Slayer [action, drama, girl power, great ensemble],
Charmed [paranormal, action, girl power, sibling unity],
Dead Like Me [reapers, drama, angst, feelings],
Dollhouse [action, sci-fi, drama],
Earth: Final Conflict [sci-fi, aliens come to Earth],
Firefly [sci-fi, spaceship in the future, cargo hauling and thieving],
Futurama [animated, humor, sci-fi, ensemble],
Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda [sci-fi, spaceship in the far future, post-apocalyptic],
Hannibal [psychological, serial killer, angst, drama, lots of blood and awful],
Hercules: the Legendary Journeys [action, humor, gods and goddesses],
Highlander [action, a fight to the death every episode, Methos, dated material],
Lost Girl [paranormal, action, girl power, lots of sex and violence],
Metalocalypse [animated, brutal humor],
Pushing Daisies [crime solving partners, humor, romance, paranormal],
Rick and Morty [animated, sci-fi, sharp humor],
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles [action, sci-fi, drama],
The Tribe [post-apocalypse, Lord of the Flies-ish kids battling each other],
Xena: Warrior Princess [action, humor, romance, redemption, gods and goddesses],
The Venture Brothers [animated, superscience, sharp humor]

For a lighter crowd:
The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy [animated, humor, reaper]
Hikaru no Go [anime, ghost friend, championship board game],
Invader Zim [animated, sci-fi, humor]
Ouran High School Host Club [anime, high school romance, crossdressing],
Princess Jellyfish [anime, adult humor],
Sailor Moon [anime, action, girl power],
Tiny Toon Adventures [humor, talking animals],
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [action, talking animals hiding from the human world]

2. What is with all of the reality television? We get it, it’s cheap to make and the returns can be gigantic and blah blah. Those shows have actually been proven to make children stupider. Look it up; there’s scientific evidence. Where are all the concerned “Don’t vaccinate my kid!” parents at when their kids are watching that crap? Instead of sitting back letting that kind of lazy and exploitive programming run, why aren’t parents petitioning for actual shows?

When I was a kid some of the shows were pretty stupid, but at least they were actual family programming, as in, anyone could watch the show no matter there age. There was no surprise graphic sex. The language didn’t try to be edgy. And there were actual non-dysfunctional families getting along and enjoying spending time together.

But reality TV shows a life that most people can’t afford to live or wouldn’t want to live. The people seem so fake, the story lines are improv, and there’s no real point to anything. It’s a fishbowl glimpse into someone’s life, a chance to ogle and snark freely.

At least a story with a moral to it imparts some beneficial bit of knowledge. Reality television is people making money by pretending that their lives are more interesting than they really are.

“Watch me I’m rich and spoiled!”

“Watch me do my job, it’s exciting!”

“I used to be famous, pay attention to me!”

No thank you. I’ll be watching the rerun of a rerun, the same episode of The Cleveland Show that played four hours ago on the sister channel.)

*

I wish I could turn on the TV and be entertained again. But there’s no longer a channel I can trust to give me what I want.

Hogfather at Amazon

editing The Panic Pure
Editing The Panic Pure while watching The Venture Bros.

I write in Scrivener, edit in OpenOffice with Changes on, update my Scrivener file, then create a mobi to read on my Kindle where I can note minor changes still to make. In all, I read through each section 3-4 times before I do the final read through.

*

I have plans for The Panic Pure in the near future, which is why I need to clean it up and get it ready. As a result, I’m reading through it again and doing some editing work. As you can see, there’s a lot that goes in to making a manuscript truly readable.

By the time I’m done, every single paragraph will be coated in red and blue. There’s something oddly satisfying about seeing how much has been made different from one stage to the next.

Hogfather at Amazon

For some reason I can’t log in to my LiveJournal with Semagic. I’m hoping LJ is down. I would lose my mind if I couldn’t use my Semagic to post to LJ.

Anyways, here’s two things by me:
Allen the Alien
Harsh Buzz

*

Watching the episode of Futurama where Fry is basically ET to Lrrr’s son’s Eliot. This show always gets me thinking and is like total inspiration fuel.

Now my mind is filled with the idea of a human lost on an alien world being taken is as a pet for a Predator-type alien. Even though the alien–Allen–is from a culture that totally lives in harshness every day of the week, he believes that he needs to take care of his human properly. Which means lush comfort, gourmet food, baths, tummy rubs, just a thoroughly pleasure-filled life. Allen even takes his human to a swap, where unbonded humans are gathered together for Owners to look at. Allen brings his human and they walk around to find a proper mate for the human.

It’s kind of like a dog park with stalls set up along the fences. All kinds of things are sold there, from humans to smaller pets like dogs, cats, turtles, etc. (Maybe the aliens have conquered Earth and every creature is their pet?)

Allen could see the way Gerston tugged at the collar with his forepaws and gave him a warning swat on the back. One sky blue eye rolled toward him balefully, but Gerston had quickly learned how to behave. “There will be none of that, good sir,” Allen said sternly.

Gerston made a whining sound of unhappiness and Allen huffed a laugh. “Now now. We’re here to pick you up a treat. There’s no reason to act so rudely to me.” Allen tugged the leash and Gerston was quick to go to heel, following along in Allen’s footstep as they traversed the animal park toward the human enclosure.

As they got closer, Gerston jerked to attention when he saw where they were going, all the humans gathered within the fence. He made an excited sound, like amazement and laughter and a bit of fear.

“Don’t worry now,” Allen said. “I’m not going to replace you. We’re just here to get you a friend.”

He led Gerston to the fence and they walked along it, examining the humans inside. There were at least twenty of them huddled in groups around the enclosure, some of them rather humorously covering their exposed genitals. There was no clothing before a human was purchased and registered; it made it easier to differentiate the males from the females and there was no way the seller could hide any health concerns.

Suddenly one of the humans barked high and excited and ran to the fence, nearly touching the forcefield, which crackled warningly. He was a larger than normal human with black hair on his head and face and between his legs, his skin a deep brown color marred by a silvery scar across his abdomen. Still, he was a handsome looking beast.

Gerston made an excited yip and tugged at Allen, rolling his eyes so pleadingly that Allen huffed a laugh and took him closer to the fence. He got to watch Gerston and the other male eye each up, yelping and barking and waving their forepaws at each other. It was oddly delightful.

“So this is the one you want, is he?” Allen looked around until he caught the eye of the stall manager and clapped his hands to catch his attention. The man hurried over with a jangle of keys, a clipboard in his hand. “I want that one.” Allen pointed at the male human Gerston seemed so taken with.

“Oh, sir, I don’t think that one would be right for you at all. He’s a rough sort and you seem to be a rather delicate fellow.”

Allen could see the way the other man looked at him, the judgment being made behind those slit yellow eyes, and he grit his teeth and took it. He knew how he looked; most times it pleased him to be admired, but Traditionals had a tendency to look at him as though he was shit beneath their heel. From the gelled back sweep of his blue-black mane to his bespoke suit jacket, vest, and trousers, he was a Modernist to the core. Wealthy, handsome, of noble birth, but troubled to be a gadfly, most likely a disappointment to his family and a black sheep amongst his old school friends.

He straightened his spine and stared down his nose at the man.–How dare such a vermin judge him?–“I will take the black topped one. Arrange the paperwork. I don’t have all day.” At the rolling sound of his vowels and pheromone rush of Command, the creature hastened to obey.

Allen didn’t like to Dominate those lesser than him. He wanted to believe in the freedom of everyone, no matter how unlikely, but there were some times when he simply couldn’t take it anymore. His natural inclination was to own every situation he was in and that included anyone of lesser birth–he was a noble–and when he could no longer suppress his nature that’s what he reverted to: the noble child of ten thousand generations of noble children. There were very few Lessers born into his family line, and that had become a mark of pride for his Genome.

Watching the man rush around at his command, Allen couldn’t help savoring the thrill of power, though he wished more than anything to feel bad about it. And that’s what he always felt bad for instead, the fact that he had no conscience of his own. He was as amoral and terrible as his mother.

I will do better, I promise, he thought.

He looked down at Gerston, his faithful pet, and reached out to stroke the human’s head, letting the long auburn locks flow between his fingers, black fur mixing with human hair. It was his desire to be a better person that had brought him to the decision of getting his own human. He’d never been one for pets before, but the books all suggested the company of an at least Level Three organism to promote a healthy mental state and nurture a compassion toward weaker beings. He hadn’t believed it could possibly work, but he’d developed a fondness for Gerston that brinked closely to being love.

“Oh look, here comes your friend,” Allen said. Standing with Gerston at his side, he watched as the stall manager walked his new human to him on a plain brown leash. The human had been dressed in a loose black smock and slippers. He walked with his head up and his shoulders back, brown eyes looking around interestedly.

Allen smiled. His new human was beautiful, muscular and healthy with glossy black hair. He would be the perfect complement to Gerston, who was slender and delicate boned; everyone would admire Allen when he took his humans for a walk.

*

RAW FEED: Harsh Buzz [vampire, mm]
Author: Harper Kingsley
Rating: mature

There was something to be said about that moment between Waking and Sleep when it felt as though the world was rushing back into his lungs. The word he might use is “Disappointing.”

To feel life take over his dreaming mind and slip back out of the memories he imagined he’d once lived, it made reality all that much more painful. All those beautiful moments withering and falling away, dying petals falling away in a flurry of bright and dark.

Then he is himself alone. And suddenly that’s not so bad with awareness rushing to fill the emptiness. This is his life, his world. No longer a slave to the passions of others, he is the master here and no one can deny that.

Marmalee rose from tousled sheets, stretching his arms high above him and feeling the smooth press of muscles against his skin.

This was his moment now. His time.

There was no one to stand against him. No one that would dare to stand against him.

Padding barefoot into the bathroom, he twisted the knobs above the claw-footed tub, letting the hot water free. He added a drizzle of scented oil, breathing deep the scent of flowers and spice.

As he stepped into the bath, he heard the hushed whisper of the bedroom doors opening. His four personal attendants stepped in with their demiguise trailing after them, their eyes kept low in deference.

Marmalee said nothing as two attendants came to the tub and stepped in, kneeling in the water to wash his skin with soft cloths and massaged sweet smelling shampoo into his long, crimson locks.

He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be pampered. Gentle touches felt strange after centuries of rough handling. He had started out his immortal life even lower in the Hierarchy than these servants.

There had been no laws to protect him and no one to care. He’d wrapped his hurt and misery tight around his heart and turned it into the strength necessary to rise through the ranks and stake his claim as a Master. He had refused to be a victim, and his reward was at hand.

After bathing, he was dried and powdered, his skin shining and smooth. He was dressed in leather and silk and spiderweb lace. His hair was coiled around wire artifices until it was an elegant art and he was as beautiful as he was deadly, looking neither male nor female, but something lingering in-between.

“You look beautiful,” LaFavre said.

Marmalee gave her a gentle smile. “Thank you. You have done well.” A kind word here and there earned better loyalty than cruelty and indifference.

Stepping into his soft-soled shoes, Marmalee smoothed his hands over his stomach and strode from the room. The evening’s entertainment would be starting shortly and he had never been one to be late. Never to his own party.

Bodyguards flanked him as he left the private portion of the Palace for the public areas. They rode the elevator up with him and kept a close watch as he surveyed the party preparations.

His butler was handling things with all the adroit skill of his top notch schooling. Hollings had displayed such brilliance at organizing the Palace staff that Marmalee was considering turning him into a Demiguise in a few years. It wouldn’t do for the Palace butler to appear too young, just a bit of age to distinguish him, and Edward Hollings would be perfect.

“I’m pleased,” Marmalee said.

Hollings didn’t even twitch at Marmalee’s sudden appearance next to him. He merely dipped his head in respect. His breath ghosted against Marmalee’s sleeve, rippling the fabric. “Prince-Elect. We have done the best we can, and the result has been very good so far.”

“You’re humble, how adorable.” Marmalee laughed and clapped his hands. There had been some question about his decision to hire a human, but he had been impressed by Hollings; not just how the man appeared on paper, but the man himself. Hollings was unflappable.

“The first guests should be arriving within the hour,” Hollings said.

Marmalee nodded. “Thank you for your hard work this past week.”– He lightly poked his finger against Hollings just to feel the solid muscle.–“You’ve done a truly beautiful job.”

Hollings’ thin lips turned up in a smile. “It was my pleasure, sir.” There was a definite thrill to be found when dealing with someone so competent. There wasn’t a single hair out of place and Hollings had the serene confidence of a master of his profession.

Marmalee gave him another smile before drifting off to check things for himself. He’d always had a perfectionist streak.

Small Gods at Amazon