falling up

There are times in my life when I feel as though I’m falling into the moment.

My skin is melting off. And no one else can see. But I feel the weight pulling me down.

It’s strange. — The breaking apart. // It leaves me breathless.

One moment I’ll be washing dishes. The next … here I am.

My fingertip throbs with a deep, badly healing gash. // I must have forgotten to take care of me again.

Sometimes I wander through the grocery store, squirreling away the monthly supplies. It feels like everyone is looking at me. (They are. They are. They so fucking are.)

I think learning programming languages is calming me down. // It’s like I’m visiting a whole different world. — I made a JavaScript thing (Story Prompt Generator).

Time is passing by — it takes me with it. // I worry sometimes that I’m going to forget myself and disappear.

But worrying does nothing but add to worries. // Everything is going to be all right.

Somehow.