I have no idea what I’m doing. I stumble around with this stoically non-stressed face on, but I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing.
I’m scared.
When I was a kid, I thought I would grow up and it would all just come to me. A life, a job, a family, everything. It would just kind of happen.
Instead I’ve been left to wallow in my confusion. And I’m older now, so I’m getting scared that stuff is never going to work out. I’m going to live alone and die alone, and never once will I have enough money to survive.
I need a job.
I need my own place.
I need the security of knowing I’m not going to starve to death.
I feel so helpless because I don’t know how to help myself, and I don’t know who to ask for help.
Sometimes I don’t think I can breathe. My chest feels tight. It feels like a giant hand is pressing down through the top of my head.
I feel so alone.
