So my grandpa was a self-publishing fool. He signed his books up with two companies and refused to believe they might be shady or anything. Now I have to get his books off their lists, re-edit and reformat everything, and republish them.

He died several years ago and it’s just one of those things – I really don’t want to see his stuff being maintained by a group of people that really don’t care about him or his writings, just the money he paid them (thousands and thousands of dollars. Enough money to just make you sick.) At the time he published his stuff, there wasn’t a whole lot of self-publishing options, so he went with the old-fashioned pay some company to do nothing approach. They got thousands of dollars from him, but he was happy as long as he had a couple copies of his books.

I told the family that I would take over his stuff though. I mean, he put so much of himself into his books, and the sad thing is that they would have been pretty good if he would just have listened to anyone about a few changes. He simply got bogged down by the details – like 1000 words right in the middle of the action about shoeing a horse or loading a wagon,

He tried so hard to be Louis L’Amour, and he simply would not listen about just writing his own stuff. He was such a stubborn, frustrating old man. It’s no wonder he lived to be 97 – he was just too ornery to quit.

And I’ll always remember the time he used “he ejaculated” instead of “he yelled,” then refused to change it even though I kept telling him he should. Then, when I went and changed it for him… he waited until I was gone and put it back. He finally changed it for real when the self-publishing company told him he should. Right up until then, he kept insisting I didn’t know what I was talking about.

Crazy old man.

The Way of the Househusband 01 at Amazon

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"book cover: Pomegranate01"

Title: The Hand of Ares
Author: Linnea Kingsley
Genre: mm fantasy
Summary: This short tale tells of the origin of the man known as the Hand of Ares.


THE HAND OF ARES
By Linnea Kingsley

Torches flickered along the walls as he crept from shadow to shadow, stealthily avoiding the sentries as he made his way to the temple of mighty Ares. He was fearful, not of what he planned to do, but of the possibility of rejection.

His entire life had been dedicated to Ares, and somehow that translated to a fervency he could no longer ignore.

For all the years of his life, he had felt drawn to Ares. So many had told him to give up his dreams of being a warrior, to instead devote himself to a kinder god, one that would appreciate his startling beauty and would lavish him with pleasure and comfort. But the only god he could see himself serving was Ares.

He crept past the guards and entered the temple proper, his sandals making no sound on the marble floor as he approached the altar. He was so intent on his goal that everything was blurry and indistinct.

He paid no notice to the scenes of battle decorating the walls or the offerings waiting on the smaller altars. His whole world was wrapped up in reaching the main altar and all he could feel was the pounding of his heart. His breath was a harsh rasp of sound in his ears. He held his hands out until he could press his palms against the cool surface of the marble that made up the altar.

“Mighty Ares, I can no longer resist the Call you have for me. My family means next to nothing to me nor does anything else. All I can hear is your voice speaking to me, or I think I hear you. I wish I hear you.” He leaned his forehead against the altar, a few fervid tears dripping against the stone slab.

“My love for you has grown beyond what I can bear. My entire being cries out to serve you. I dedicate myself to you, oh great Ares, body and spirit.” He stood up and pulled his dagger from its sheath, slashing it across first one cheek then the other, feeling the blade scrape bone. Blood filled his mouth, but still he spoke clearly, ignoring the pain as inconsequential: “I offer my beauty and my blood as sacrifice to you, and I vow to be your fiercest and most loyal warrior.”

He used his cupped palms to catch the dripping blood, then made to release it out across the altar.

There was a bright flare of light, then instead of his blood landing on white marble, it splashed against the bronze chest of the man suddenly languishing before him. Drops of red caught in the dark tangle of the man’s chest hair, gemlike and hypnotic.

The youth could only gape as the god ran a finger through the blood pooling against his skin and raised it to his mouth, licking it off with a sinful swipe of his tongue. “Yes, your blood is ripe and sweet. I can feel all that you are beating through your veins.” Ares opened starless eyes and stared into the boy’s very soul. “Yours is one of the purest loves I have ever felt. Truly you will be mine.”

“Great Ares, you honor me,” the youth cried, his breath coming fast. He quickly bowed, wobbling a little from shock and blood loss. His cheeks stung and there was blood running down his face to trickle down his neck to stain the collar of his tunic.

All he could see was the beautiful face of Ares, so masculine and strong. Olive skin and high cheekbones and a lush mouth framed by the dark curling hairs of his beard. He was mesmerized by that mouth, the lower lip dotted by a single drop of his blood.

He didn’t move when Ares reached out one languid hand and lifted his chin. He just stared at the god, the air thick around him with the feelings thrumming through him. He could feel his groin stir with desire and it made him gasp in a breath, his limbs trembling with want.

The purity of your devotion has dazzled me, as does your new beauty.” Ares brushed his thumb over one of the weeping wounds; the youth refused to flinch even though it stung with pain. “Truly you have brought me great joy.”

Ares tugged the youth closer toward him. “Come to me and I will mark you as my own.”

The youth stumbled when his toes hit the low steps, but he didn’t stop. He let himself be pulled closer to Ares, then felt those large hands lift him up to lay him down on the altar. Then the god was rising over him and he was being swallowed up by the god’s eyes, pulled into that dark stare until Ares’ will was all he felt and he bowed to it gratefully.

Hands caressed up under his tunic, then there was the sound of tearing cloth and his skin was bared to the warm air. Lips touched his face, drank in his blood, then lipped their way down his neck to his chest. He made a whining sound when teeth bit his nipples, but he never thought to pull away.

The marble was hard beneath his back, but all he could feel was the god pressing down on top of him, rutting against him in animal passion. His voice escaped him in a warbling cry as Ares caressed his wounded cheeks, fingering the open gashes until the pain transformed itself into pseudo-pleasure. There was a rumble of sinister laughter, but to the youth it sounded warm and inviting.

He shed a few tears when he was breeched, but it was so transcendent that he could no longer feel the pain, only an all-consuming devotion. He could die, but it would be beautiful and perfect, as long as that was what Ares wished of him.

When it was over, the youth sprawled nude over Ares’ body, his head nestled against the god’s chest. He could feel the drumbeat of a heart beneath his cheek and it sounded like the pounding life of the world.

You have greatly pleased me. To that end, I accept your pledge of eternal devotion.” Ares rose up and licked his tongue over the youth’s wounded cheeks, healing them to scars, leaving a perpetual sneer to pull at the corner of the youth’s lips. The youth would not be quite so pretty to mortal eyes, but to Ares he was more beautiful than ever before.

You will live here from now on and you will be trained as my Chosen.”

“What does that mean?” He blinked his eyes clear of tears, not wanting to show that the god had hurt him. He just straddled Ares’ lap, his hips and legs crying out in pain, though he refused to even think of shifting himself away.

Ares’ looked him straight in the eye, a cruel smile twisting his lips. “Prove your worth to me and you will find out.”

The youth’s whisper was fervent, “I vow it.”

Ares laughed, a deep, rumbling sound. “By your blood, I Bind you. From now until your death you will be my faithful hand, carrying out my wishes without question or complaint. Prove your worth to me, and I will grant you all that you desire.”

He cocked his head. “Truly?”

I do not lie,” Ares said easily. “Win my love through unending loyalty and service.”

“I will be your most faithful servant,” the youth promised.

Ares nodded graciously. “And when you prove yourself, I will name you my Chosen. Or fail me, and I will exile you to the depths of Tartarus where you will suffer for all of eternity.”

“I will prove myself or you can do with me as you wish,” the youth said. “I am yours.”

Good.” Ares’ smile was full of razor teeth and his eyes swirled with something bloody and red.

To Hand, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Beautiful and mesmerizing, and he would not fail in his quest to please his lord.

=THE END=

Let's Make Dumplings at Amazon

I really like going to the movies. There’s something kind of awesome about finding a seat in the darkness and watching a movie with a bunch of strangers WHILE munching on popcorn and slurping down the biggest Coke ever made.

The fun part about going to the movies is the decadence, I think. Because, come on, you might occasionally gorge yourself at home, but it’s only at the movie theater that you buy that gigantic popcorn and the largest drink. Your self-motivator? The thought that you might finish your popcorn or your drink and need to get up to get more, thereby missing a portion of the movie and not being able to rewind. Why is that great? Because when you’re at home there’s no way you’d eat that much popcorn or drink that much soda. So you’ve basically talked yourself into being a pig, and there’s some secret part of you that loves that.

Sure, it would be bad if you practiced those kinds of eating habits all the time, but to do it just every once and a while gives it that much more purpose and meaning. It also makes the memories of those trips more precious to both adults and children.

And that strange mix of nostalgia and euphoria makes whatever movie you’re watching ten times better. So even if you were watching what should have been just an “okay movie,” that euphoria makes it into something so fantabulous you have to gush about it later. It just blows up and you’re totally in that moment.

Sitting in a movie theater is one of those great experiences that simply should not be missed. Yet the prices are so prohibitive that more and more people aren’t going to the movies anymore. And so people get mad at movie theater owners for being greedy and charging so much money.

But it’s not the movie theaters’ fault.

The whole reason why movies are so expensive is because movie studios are charging so much. Because when’s the time a movie mostly seen? In its first week. And that’s when the studios expect to be paid the most money. Each time the movie is shown, they get up to 90% of the ticket price, if not more, leaving the theaters to try and get the most money out of concessions. Which is why so many theaters are disappearing.

People do not want to pay so much money for snack foods. “$5 for popcorn? I wouldn’t pay that much for a gallon of gas, yet I’m expected to pay it for frakking popcorn? Are you insane?” is the first response most people have. “$10 for a matinee ticket, $5 for popcorn, $5 for a drink? I’m not going to pay that much just for me to see a movie by myself! And if I brought someone else, that would be $40 if she didn’t want anything more. We could go out to dinner and watch a movie at home for less than that. And I’d be more likely to score… hm.” And thus, another theater goer is gone.

Which is why I think the future of theaters is going to see more success in showing Independent films. Because making a movie yourself is a lot easier to do now, and with theaters being unable to stay in business on studio movies, there will be more of them willing to show independent movies “just until I stay afloat.” Especially if they’re the ones being paid to show the movie – or at least, if that’s how they perceive the situation.

Theaters could be showing different homegrown movies every week and making money while doing it. So if you’re making tons of money showing some high school kids’ sci-fi movie, but you’re losing money on studio movies, then why not just go completely independent? Only show good movies chosen from those submitted by their makers, and basically be your own small distributor.

Besides, MOVIE MAKERS, going independent could actually see you making much more money. Amazon lets you make your own DVDs and sell them at their store through their subsidy, CreateSpace. Which is cool, because nowadays, everyone knows DVDs and digital content is where all the money is.

Allies & Enemies at Amazon

Okay, so Brian is a complete and total idiot.

*Jillian was wonderful.*

Sure, she wasn’t the smartest of people, but she was warm and caring and really loved him. She seemed like she would be incredibly loyal too, so he would have never had to worry about her cheating on him. She also seemed to be in some way financially independent — she had money for nice clothes, her own apartment, etc. So she might have either had a stable job that paid her well, or some kind of family money. Any way you look at it, she was able to take care of herself and seemed really awesome.

Brian might not have been able to have intellectual conversations with her, but that’s what he has Stewie for. He could have had Jillian for all the comforting relaxing things he’s always trying to get from Lois (you know, like when he talked about her all sweetly when they went to get his award), then he’s got Stewie for the witty conversation.

Brian is kind of a douche bag. I love him because he’s a fluffy looking white dog, but if he were a real guy – I’m with Quagmire in thinking he’s a pretentious dick head.

He went out of his way to make his relationship with Jillian not work. Then he spends the rest of forever whining about how he’s so lonely.

I think the best thing for Jillian was breaking up with Brian. She was a very sweet girl and Brian was an asshole checking out other women and treating her like crap.

He ridiculed Jillian for her stupidity, then got so upset when his intelligence was questioned by [that girl from the “Hills”] (sic) that I was just like “Ha, in your face asshole!”

I just hate the thought that there are guys out there that treat real girls like that and think it’s okay. Some guy has a really great girl, then starts shopping around and breaks up with her, then whines about it when her life turns out way better later.

It’s like, dude: “Greener pastures don’t always mean happier days.” So quit your bitching and deal with the fact that you threw away the best thing you’ll ever have and it’s your own damn fault. I hate that kind of thing in bad romance movies, and I hate it even more in real life.

Sometimes you should just stick with what you have. Happiness is its own reward.