Ugh, it’s the middle of the night and I got up and ate a big bowl of cold spaghetti. Now my stomach is feeling all roly-poly “I think I’m going to be sick”-oly. I’m starting to feel tired again and I’ll go back to bed in a moment, but until then I’ve been planning out my NaNoWriMo.

I know, right? It’s practically the middle of the month and I’m just starting my story. But it’s actually the third story that I’ve started for NaNo, but it’s the only one I don’t think I’m going to discard. Those other ones left me feeling doubtful, this one makes me feel hopeful. It’s called “Freeform Jazz” because I’m not-so secretly a weirdo.

The rough start:

Jazz – real name: James Leopold. He was nicknamed Jazz because that’s what his parents were listening to when he was conceived. It’s a horrifying story he really didn’t want to know about, but it wasn’t something he could forget. Not when they insisted on listening to jazz music every year around his birthday and got all moon-eyed toward each other. It was disgusting.

But you never have to worry about it again, he thought. You’re never going to catch them being all kissy faced and sweaty-rumpled. You’re never going to see them ever again.

“Are you all right, son? Is there someone I can call?”

Jazz blinked and looked at the man that had stopped next to his perch on the stone planter. “What?”

There was infinite patience in the brown eyes that looked at him, a sad understanding that made Jazz want to slap the guy just because he could. “Would you like me to call someone for you?” the man asked.

“Why?” Jazz asked, cocking his head.

“Because you’re crying.”

The man pointed and Jazz realized that it was true. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and he hadn’t even noticed them start. He scrubbed at his face with his sleeve and thought that he was supposed to be embarrassed. Really, he was just tired. Exhausted in a way that made even breathing seem too hard to take.

“I’m … I’m all right,” he said. “You don’t have to call anyone. I’ll be fine.”

The man didn’t look like he believed him, but gave him a nod anyway before heading toward the stone steps. He had a black cane that went with the limp in his left leg. Jazz wondered what had happened to him.

Maybe you just met the real life John Watson, he thought. A smile tugged at his lips, but it didn’t last long. Not when he couldn’t seem to stop the helpless tears that kept escaping his eyes as he tried not to think about his parents. His tragically dead parents.

Jazz mopped at his face and forced himself to his feet when what he really wanted to do was hug his knees to his chest and just break down. But how lame would that be? A nineteen year old weeping in front of the public library because he didn’t know what else to do.

He hated feeling so helpless.

Don’t tell anyone at Wattpad, but I’ve decided that it’s the origin story of GlenDal (from Heroes & Villains). Everyone knows I’m a big Sailor Moon fan, plus there’s that song from AMVHell 5: “If I were a girl, even just for a day, I’d roll out of bed in the morning and wonder what just happened to me.” The story is practically writing itself. I even came up with a little Barbie joke that I’m going to throw in.

I am really excited about NaNoWriMo. I hope you are too ^_^

The Way of the Househusband 01 at Amazon

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Title: Fierce
Larger work: Shame
Author: Harper Kingsley
Genre: mm contemporary
Warning: Possible triggers for mention of past non-con.

A/N: Fierce and Conflagration will be added to the original Shame. There will be a non-Shame version called “Without Shame” too if you want to stay away from the unpleasant.

Summary: Simon Peters is dealing with the aftermath of the events in Shame. It’s a long slow road, but he refuses to give up.

*

There were moments in the stillness where Simon found himself afraid. He would close his eyes only to have to open them again, his every sense quivering alert, sure the boogeyman was going to get him. Again.

He hated being so scared all the time. He hated that there were marks on him he couldn’t see. He hated that someone as sick and twisted as Damien Prince had left such a permanent scar on his mind.

Fortress in the Eye of Time at Amazon

I’ve been told that prologues are too much in this day and age. They’ve lost their popularity and people simply don’t like them. Readers want to get straight to the meat and potatoes of a story.

When I heard no prologues, I was a bit disappointed, but I said “All right.” I can deal with the idea of getting right to the story without introductions or delays. I’m an adult; there were very few tears. Yet now people are saying they don’t want epilogues either? Well gee thanks, Harry Potter, yet another thing old scar head has ruined for the rest of us.

I suppose that I’ve been abusing the privilege of epilogues somewhat by using them to foreshadow the next story, but what else am I supposed to do? When you get rid of my precious prologues, there has to be somewhere where I can stick all that great pre-story, not really part of the story, story stuff. Yet reviewers have said they would prefer no epilogue at all.

Take Heroes & Villains for example. The epilogue is the beginning of Allies & Enemies. There’s a glimpse of their life in the future, the introduction of one of the main characters of Allies & Enemies, and a general idea of where things are going to go. It’s an intrinsic tie-in to Allies & Enemies, but would have made a terrible prologue.

Which leaves me wondering what I should do with the epilogue I wrote for Allies & Enemies. Leave it in? Dump it? I have no idea.

These are the hardest parts of writing for me. Wanting to please the reader, but not wanting to displease myself. I mean, without the epilogue, the story seems incomplete to me, yet it’s not part of the story itself. It’s the afterward, the introduction, the wrap up of one part and the opening of the next.

To epilogue or not to epilogue, that is the question.

* * *

Catch some of my free stories at Kimichee: Read Something.

Allies & Enemies at Amazon

I’ve got this little story I’ve been playing around with that I’ve tentatively named “Rascal Brand” after the titular character. It’s kind of a “space hippie marooned on an alien planet desperate to survive” story.

Blurb: “There’s an intergalactic war happening between the Terran Empire and the Nyxti, but it’s very far away from Cal’s world view. He’s twenty-seven years old and he’s run away from his dead end job to join the Reclamation Squadron (which is basically the Peace Corps of the future). He loves helping people, but he was shipped out with Commander Steve “Ruins Everything” Sarta, the guy that blew up Bermuda Base. Ordered to the fringe worlds, they were assigned a flashy ship that turned out to be a refurbished model built on mostly recalled parts. Piloting a literal death trap, it seemed inevitable that they would crash land on an alien world. A world where peace loving Cal must survive alone.”


He woke to the smell of singed hair and the sense that something was very wrong. The air was stifling hot and the heat level was rising even as he tried to blink his head clear.

There was the blaring of warning alarms and everything was cast in hues of orange, the cockpit looking nightmarish and strange. “Wha…” he coughed, his lungs filling with acrid smoke. It smelled like toxic chemicals, and his confused brain tried to remember if the ship’s interior was made out of anything that was going to kill him as it melted.

Cal felt strange, his hands awkward as he fumbled his crash harness off. He grabbed the handle of the emergency kit and pulled it out from under his seat, slinging the strap over his shoulder crosswise so it wouldn’t get lost. There were other things he felt like he should grab and some part of him didn’t want to leave the “safety” of the ship at all, which was currently a burning deathtrap; he forced himself to move.

He stumbled passed Steve’s already bloating corpse, the slanted angle of the deck nearly sending him tumbling. “Sorry, buddy,” he rasped. The smoke was rising to choking levels and he covered his mouth and nose with his sleeve. The slick material of his shipsuit didn’t breathe very well, and as a result neither did he, but it wasn’t like he had much choice. He had to get out of the ship.

His eyes stung and burned as he left the cockpit and faced a small inferno. For a second he was terrified–the entire aft section was nothing but flames and oily black smoke. The fire systems hadn’t even tried to kick in, the little hatches firmly sealed, and he vowed to track down the guys from Hephaestus Corp and kick their asses. A malfunctioning fire suppression system was a bit more serious than the nonstandard sized cup holders. His anger at the company was tinged with hysteria. There was a good chance he was going to die scrabbling at the door like a rat.

Coughing and fighting the urge to retch, he stumbled to the emergency hatch. The skin on the right side of his body felt like it was trying to curl in on itself away from the heat of the flames. He might have thought the sight beautiful if he wasn’t the one currently facing death by roasting–orange and yellow and purple and green flames writhing and twining amongst the supposedly fire resistant seat cushions.

He reached out to grab the door handle, then cursed and jerked back as he felt his skin sizzle. The handle was burning hot and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed that the plasticene sheath had melted off, leaving just the bare metal.

Tears stung his eyes and the heat and smoke levels were rising. The panicked alarm had risen to a teeth jarring squall and the orange warning light was blink-blink-blinking, urging him to get the hell out before it was too late.

He pulled his sleeve down over his right hand and reached out quickly to grasp the handle and gave it a hard shove down. Tears stung his eyes at the pain in his already burned hand but he was running on survival instinct. He was not letting himself burn to death, not without a hell of a fight.

He jerked on the handle, then hurriedly let go. His sleeve had melted and pulled away with gooey strings fluttering like the tentacles of a clarphod.

With the release of the handle, the door sensors kicked in and he briefly saw a scrolling message pass over the glossy blue material: “Brace yourself for saturation.”

He didn’t have time to puzzle out what that was supposed to mean before the door blew off its seams with a muffled explosion and shot away into the darkness. And about a million gallons of seawater rushed in.

There was no chance to brace himself as the wave hit him and slammed him against the far bulkhead, the back of his head bouncing against the wall painfully. Water choked down his throat before he managed to close his mouth and he coughed and gagged as more flooded in to fill the ship.

First death by burning, now death by drowning. At least the fire’s gotta be out, he thought.

Rushing water was battering against him and it was a battle to keep his feet, but he knew that if he let himself get swept to the far end of the ship he would drown long before he managed to swim his way to freedom. All he could do was reach up with his good hand, grip the railing over the top of his head, and hold on.

Bracing himself in the doorway, water rushing all around him, stinging where it touched his burnt skin, Rascal Brand once again wondered what he’d been thinking when he’d joined the Service.

You thought you were going to help save the universe. You’d travel from planet to planet setting up food processing plants and teaching savages how to read Galactic Standard. He tightened his grip on the railing and closed his eyes. How was I supposed to know it was going to be like this? Partnered up with the biggest loser in the Service and stuck with the worst ship, the jinx; it’s a surprise we lasted as long as we did. And now I’m going to die here.

Cal tightened his lips. No, he refused to die like this, helpless and afraid, doing nothing to save himself.

He waited until the water stopped rushing past him, sucking in a last lungful of air before the water passed over the top of his head and he was fully submerged. Hoping desperately that the ship hadn’t sunk too far down, he released the rail and swam through the airlock toward the mysterious outside, bubbles caressing against his sides as the ridiculously outdated ship continued to pump oxygen.

Cal swam toward the surface as well as he could manage–he’d never been the best of swimmers and the murky water was thick with biologicals. He saw the shadow of creatures swimming around him and was vaguely terrified that he was going to be snatched up and eaten by some kind of aquapod. Mostly, he just wanted to breathe.

He released small bursts of air as he kicked his feet and arrowed his body up and up, or at least in the direction that he hoped was up. Knowing his recent string of luck, he wouldn’t be surprised if he hit bottom rather than reaching the surface. The last bit of irony before he died.

Cal dragged himself through the water, the emergency kit knocking against his hip with every furious kick. The slight amount of pain motivated him to keep moving even as his lungs burned and his head spun with spots and dizziness.

Kick, ow, kick, ow. As long as that pain was there, he knew that he was still moving, still desperately trying to survive. His ears were rushing and he could feel his consciousness beginning to fade. His kicks were losing their power and he knew he wasn’t going to make it. He was going to pass out any second and his body was going to drift down and down, picked apart by scavengers or left to rot away far from home. His mother was never going to know what happened to him. She would just assume that he’d screwed up one last time and gotten himself killed.

Clenching his teeth, he kicked and kicked and kicked until his legs seemed to disconnect from the rest of him. His world was contracting down into a pinprick, a narrow desperation for air. His lungs burned and he wanted more than anything to open his mouth and draw in a breath, but all he would get was a quicker death.

He’d rather go out fighting.

There was a strange, heady moment just before blacking out from oxygen deprivation. It felt as though his arms and legs were getting lighter and there was a sensation of drifting effortlessly through the water. Consciousness was fading, and to his oxygen starved brain it didn’t seem so bad. To stop and rest awhile. To close his eyes and just let go…

He broke the surface and greedily sucked in air. He floated on his back, his exhausted body a weight pulling down at him. He tipped his chin up to keep his mouth and nose out of the water. It was too much for him to swim anymore. He would drift awhile, at least until he got some energy back. Just a little while.

/EXCERPT