“It never hurts to ask.” What a douchey commercial, Ford. Seriously.

In recent years, I’ve noticed a lack of true holiday spirit and love/caringness for other people. I’m not saying I’m in any way a perfect person or anything — knitting socks for orphans and giving out kitten mittens even to people that don’t want them — but I am enough of a person to recognize when there’s something very wrong with the world.

The eHarmony commercials with the little girl, and now little boy, are a bit creepy. Not just because the old man keeps popping up during other peoples’ dates and saying weird things, but because the know-it-all little girl sets my teeth on edge.

And now I think the Ford commercials are even worse. I mean, the kid doesn’t even bother to meet Santa face-to-face while he’s demanding a $70,000+ truck. No, he does it over the phone and never once says thank you or please. It’s just “Santa, I’ve been such a good kid, give me a truck that I can’t even drive for another 7 years.”

If I were doing a truck commercial featuring Santa and someone wanting a new truck, I would have shown a man or woman working hard and saving money to get a truck. Something happens — maybe a family member gets sick, something — and s/he’s forced to give up the Truck Fund to help someone else. Then another person — maybe Santa himself, otherwise someone with a lot of money doing a good deed and dressing like Santa when doing it — hears about what s/he did, and shows up with the truck s/he was researching and admiring online — which is good placement for the Ford website — and gives over the keys. Then a whole scene with the joyous new truck owner and family, maybe other people in the community that were so appreciative of her/his sacrifice to help someone else that they want to be involved.

And to make the commercial truly heartwarming, I would add a small child or two — highlighting the fact that a good new truck can fit a carseat — and maybe there’d be a scrappy dog.

I don’t know. I remember a time when commercials were moving little mini-stories around the holiday season displaying happy families and people caring about others. Now, though, it mostly seems to be bratty kids demanding lots of expensive presents that they don’t deserve. It makes me sad. And annoyed.

So here’s a wag of the finger to you, Ford Motors. Your commercial sucks. Expect a visit from the Internet Krampus.

All Systems Red at Amazon

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The weather seems like it might get colder before Christmas. Make sure to bundle up and keep warm.

Drink hot beverage. Or eat hot repulsors. It's your choice.

Things you can do:
* Wear a sweater, appropriately holiday themed or not.
* Drink a hot beverage, as warm insides are always a plus.
* Snuggle with a loved one, either a human-shaped hottie or a furry companion friend.
* Wrap up in blankets, with or without sleeves.
* Migrate to warmer climates, like the secret snow bird you are.
* Read a sexy hot book, as warm insides are always a plus 😉

Whatever you decide to do, stay warm and stay safe. And maybe read a book… or at least watch the movie.

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My Christmas movie marathon plans:
Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
X-Men: Days of Future Past
A Christmas Story

The menu:
Ham with pineapple
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Pasta salad (ranch, tomatoes, zucchini, pepperoni)
Yakimandu (Korean potstickers)
Cranberry sauce
Chocolate raspberry cake
Fudge
Brownies

Uramichi Oniisan 01 at Amazon

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I have no idea what they’re saying, but 2NE1 is still a favorite. As a whole, their group is awesome. I love love them.

The use of color and style in one of their videos is always fascinating. Plus they are all arresting on the screen. You get pulled right in.

“I Love You M/V”

“I Hate You M/V” – the cartoon music video. There’s a whole Korean anime story that happens. Sounds kind of like she’s saying “Hey Jude”, so that’s an added bonus

Why not throw a little “Big Bang: Fantastic Baby M/V” into the mix. It’s an epic eye journey that will change your life if you’ve never heard of Big Bang. “I want to dance dance dance dance dance.”

G-Dragon practically writes his own fanfiction. It’s amazeballs.

Though I’d really be more interested in girl-band stuff at the moment. I’m an admitted mm slash fan, but I get into some mostly gen pieces as well. (Buffy and Sakura are better as action characters to me than as get naked characters. Though it’s the same for most mm pairings as well. I’m a bit aromantic.)

“Go Away M/V” from 2NE1. She’s a race car driver that fell in love with a male driver and he dumped her for another girl. She goes a bit over the rails in not wanting to let him break up with her. Then he slaps her! She gets back up and shows him that she can do well without him.

There’s a whole amazing story happening in that video. Kind of Days of Thunder, but it’s a chick and she takes things way too far. It would have been better for her to just “go away,” but instead she killed everyone. Then she joined a four-woman group of angels seeking redemption.

That’s what that song was about, right? Otherwise I’m confused 😛

“Ugly” –

You can see the lyrics here: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/0-9/2ne1/ugly.html.

An Elderly Lady is Up to No Good at Amazon

FUTURAMA (the episode where the Professor takes up Dimensional Drifting. Which, by the way, could be an awesome concept if done correctly. See bottom for more detail.) — So while he’s zooming off and racing, why not just turn around and go home? Is that guy going to be able to chase you down to where you live?

Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift — I heard that Japanese police won’t chase you down when you’re racing, they’ll just take pictures and show up at your house the next day. Those cars drive so fast that it’s a worse danger chasing them down.

RANDOM THOUGHT: I would hate driving around in the future equivalent of a family van. I’d prefer the shady lifestyle of Firefly with a tad less danger. Just tooling around the galaxy in my spaceship enjoying myself, then coming home to a normal house.

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PROMPT: MC’s younger brother is into speed racing, and MC lets Brother soup up his vehicle. Then later when the action happens, he’s able to pull out the speed stops and break out of danger.

– MC is a normal guy that finds himself in extraordinary circumstances, and he shows a remarkable competence.

Yesterday he was sitting around his house watching the clock, waiting for his favorite show to start. Today he was in a desperate race to save his own life.

Thank God Maxie was such a gear head.

Rey had felt like disaster could strike at any moment, but he’d let Maxie work on his car. The kid had babbled for days about different adjustments he wanted to make on Rey’s Mock Faive. He’d been so excited that Rey couldn’t say no.

And now, because of Maxie’s upgrade, the Mock Faive — which had started out as a standard model with floor mats as the only luxury — was outrunning the squad of Law Officers that were screaming after him down the highway, their lights flashing farther and farther away in his rearview mirror.

“How the fuck is this happening?!” Tiny yelled from the passenger seat.

“Thank Maximilian. He gave the old Mock Faive a work over.” Rey neatly shifted and slid across the lane as smooth as he’d always dreamed of driving — it made him glance at his speedometer, his lips twitching as he held back an exuberant grin.

Sure, the cops were probably going to be waiting at his place to impound his car and ship him off to jail, but he couldn’t even care at this point. He was having the greatest adventure of his life, and he’d always promised himself (while watching movies, dreaming that he was Action Guy instead of Stable and Dependable Guy) that if he ever found himself in an adventure situation he would live the moment to the fullest.

He just prayed he didn’t end up sent to actual prison at the end of the night. A few days in jail was one thing. Something going onto his permanent record was something else.

There was a pained moan from the backseat. He risked a peek in the rear view mirror and saw the girl’s sweaty, pained face in the mirror. She was curled around her brother/boyfriend/dirty age-mate friend with her fingers digging into his jean-clad leg with desperate strength. Her dark brown hair hung in straggles against her face, sticking to her bloody, tooth-ripped lips as they opened in panting cries.

Her stomach was huge! Rey thought he glimpsed a ripple passing under the taut green tee shirt. That baby was about to pop.

“Where do I go?” he asked, taking a quick Exit in the hopes of avoiding drone coverage. If he were lucky, they’d amass along the highway routes, and he’d be able to slip past the whole mess before they realized he’d left the main road for a while.

“I don’t know,” the boy’s voice was painfully young and terrified. It made something ache in Rey’s chest — which was strange, since he’d never been the kind to care much for the woes of other people. The only ones he was warm to were members of his own family. Yet here he was risking imprisonment and Forced Re-Conditioning for a couple of runaway teenagers that had babbled some crazy story at him when he’d pulled over to check on them.

The boy’s rambling story, spoken much too fast to completely comprehend, had probably been lies, though he’d sensed enough from them both to know they were in bad trouble. They were on the run, chased by dangerous people that wanted the girl and her baby. That was all Rey needed to know, especially when he’d gotten a good look at the girl and seen how beat up she was.

Both of the kids were showing wounds on the exposed portions of their skin. It was mostly bruises on their faces, minor but painful looking marks, but there were cuts on their arms and hands as well as mysterious dark patches on their clothes. He only had to look in their eyes to see that they were in desperate need of saving.

It had been a no-brainer to let them in his car and start driving. Though he’d been terrified when those Company goons showed up and tried to run them off the road. It had only gotten worse when they’d pulled out an armory’s worth of weapons.

He’d never seen himself as a wheel man, but he’d outrun those Company cruisers and the Law Officers as well. It was kind of exciting.

“Seriously, where are we taking you guys?” he asked. “Because Tiny and I cannot get any more involved with your situation. Sorry, but we have families and lives.” “We… Can you take us to Bolston? Our uncle is waiting for us,” the boy said.

“Bolston, huh?” Rey looked at his gauge, checking to see that he had enough fuel to make it. He was glad to see that he had more than enough. “Yeah, we can drop you off.”

“Thank you,” the boy said. “Thank you so much for…” “Stop it. You’re making me uncomfortable. Let me just get you to Bolston.” Rey quickly put the commands into his Navi and the console began clearly stating directions. “It’s going to be forty-five minutes. How’s the girl doing?”

“Sha–“

“Ah, ah, ah, I don’t want to know any names!” Tiny shouted, covering his ears with his fingers.

“… She’s going to be okay. The baby wants to come, but I think we’re going to make it to our uncle before it starts really happening.”

“Good.” Rey focused on driving, switching on the music to drown out the girl’s loud pained breathing and whimpers. There was nothing he could do for her, and he couldn’t afford to be distracted from his driving.

Once he was sure they were far enough away from the Law Officers, he slowed down to regulation speed and hit the Camo Function on his dashboard. The color of the car didn’t really change, it was just a slight shifting of the armor scales that would make the paint shimmer a different hue, but he thought it would help. His car was no longer moving at blurring speed and the color would seem more plum than dark maroon. To the average eye witness, his car would probably be seen as a near navy blue.

Rey was beginning to enjoy the drive ahead. Though he couldn’t help some slight worries about his upholstery even with the towels he’d given the kids. It made him feel petty to be concerned about his car interior when people had tried to kill them, but a good detailing would put him over his monthly budget.

Shifting gears, he focused on the road spread out through his windshield. There were the lights of a town approaching, but they’d be able to drive right passed it. If things went right, they’d reach Bolston before 9 p.m.

Rey shifted his hands on the steering wheel and mouthed the words of the song playing through the stereo. It was something so normal that it relaxed some of his nerves. He was able to believe that everything was going to be all right.

All he needed to do was drive.

Rey = Reynaldo
Maxie = Maximilian