HONESTY TIME — Okay, I’m going to be completely honest: I have not seen the third season of “Hannibal” yet. It’s on my DVR along with season two, which I did watch and enjoy, but I’m scared to watch season 3.

I’ve heard things. Good things. Bad things. Heartrending things.

I know that it’s supposed to be super beautiful/awesome/eye-opening, and I totally love the show, but I’m pretty squeamish. I want to watch season 3, but I’m scared to watch it because it’s going to be me watching it all by myself, and while I can read all kinds of horribly descriptive things, the sight of blood makes me go “Whoo-ee, that’s me losing my lunch.”

Still. I’mma try to watch season 3 over the next couple days. Pray for me (and Will Graham).

Hopefully I don’t start writing a bunch of Hannigram stories while sobbing into my keyboard. But who knows. I’m pretty weird.

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ARCHER SEASON 6 — Dammit FXXHD, all I wanted was to see season 6. I’ve been waiting a ridiculously long time for you to finally show it, and what happens? Somehow you manage to get all the way to episode 6 before I realized that you’d finally finished the recap of season 5. Seriously, do you gotta be so cruel?

And when I looked up the info, what do I see? You continue season 6 and go straight through to seasons 1 and 2, and likely 3, 4, and 5. I just want to see season 6!

Ugh. It’s going to suck having to wait for you to go through all the earlier seasons again. My life is garbage.

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DAFUQ?: Totally saw this on Cracked. It’s from the “21 Absurd Lies Companies Have Used to Sell Products” article, number 8.

Cracked: Pom advertisement meme

From an explanation in the comment’s section, I guess as long as there’s been no study firmly disproving a claim, under First Amendment laws a company can saw what-the-fuck-ever they want. So you can’t say that your product cures death, but…

“Read ‘Allies & Enemies’ by Harper Kingsley and you just might live a happier and longer life. You might even be one of those people that is more resistant to cancer, colonoscopies, and fecal worms. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But you might be.”

Wow. *mind blown*

Fortress in the Eye of Time at Amazon

Remember that time a whole human world is transformed into Magog? The crew of the Andromeda Ascendant are racing around, trying to stop the infection/impregnation of the colony. And they fail.

Those people died, but were reborn as a litter of Magog.

Yet due to events that took place and Rev’s presence there to calm the change, the Magog that are born are self-aware. Like every other Magog, they have the memories of their human host. But unlike the others, they also have the compassion and empathy of their hosts.

I don’t know if it’s a change in the body chemistry of the hosts — calming hormones that smooth the change — or if he taught them after they were born, but Rev started a change in the way a whole group of Magog think.

He’s the Magog version of Jesus. They create a religion around him and continue to carry the message of humanity down through the generations. [Tok’ra]

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The Magog birthed from the people of the World felt that they were the original person transformed. They had all of the memories; the feelings; the loves, lusts, and hates of the original person.

They had been transformed into hideous beasts with disgusting hungers, but they were still themselves down where it counted. In the soul.

Sally and O’Kelley had been in love from the first moment they met. She’d looked at him and thought: He’s kind of goofy, but he’s sweet. I think that I could love him. He’d looked at her and thought: This is the girl I’m going to marry. And both of their visions had come true.

They had a cozy cottage encircled by floral greenery and all of the sweetness of nature. They married and had a couple of kids, Dante and Thora. They had a great life together and they fell more and more in love with each other the longer they were together.

Their lives were the kind of perfect that modern people refuse to believe in. Nobody could trust that everything would stay so idyllic. There’s no surprise that things would fall apart.

The Magog Worldship passed through their solar system. Every planet was seeded with infestation pods. Inluding their world.

There are times when Sally can still remember the terror of being mauled by a hairy brown beast. All she’d seen was eyes and teeth A quicksilver flash of sharp white while angry yellow eyes glared into her.

And then there were the days of terror when her impregnation was confirmed. She had seven Magog growing in her guts, gnawing on her organs. It would take three days for them to fully mature and burst out of her body.

She wandered around in a daze along with the other infected. There was no stopping a Magog birth. And as their peoples’ religion forbade suicide or kin-murder, once most of their population was infected it was decided to let things happen as they would.

They watched the ships full of the Lucky Ones fly off into the stars. They sent along their last messages for loved ones on other planets, then they settled down to wait.

It was painful.

Sharp, tearing, agony. Transcendental lapse, synaptic resonance. Hormones flooding, rushing, and filling. Synapsis darkening and going black.

It was beautiful.

She was born with her eyes open and her mind filled with the memories of Sally. She loved O’Kelley and their two children, Dante and Thora. She’d spent each day falling more and more in love with O’Kelley and the life they had. She’d been reborn in a new body, with a new sense of vision and smell. She was lither, faster, stronger than she’d ever been allowed to be.

She was Sally Jenkins.

But O’Kelley… When he’d had a human body he’d gotten desperate and tried to rid himself of his infection. Some of the Magog had died.

When his rebirth happened, there were only two O’Kelleys, and one of them was sickly. He barely lived for half a day. There was only one O’Kelley left. Sally vowed that she would have him.
But she had six sisters that thought they were Sally Jenkins too. They all wanted to take O’Kelley — her husband — away from her and each other (she’d never been good at sharing).

She had no choice.

It was a fight to the death. And she won.

She was Sally. She lived in a cozy cottage with her husband O’Kelley and their two children, Dante and Thora. They had no other family left onworld.

*

The ways of their lives had changed, but not the hows and the whys. They loved each other and lusted after the people they’d once been.

Faizel 02 at Amazon

GLASSES — I ordered new glasses from Coastal and they arrived today, which is pretty awesome, since I wasn’t expecting them until tomorrow. I chose Touch 104 black by Alyssa Milano, and they are a nice looking pair. Though I do wish that they had a nose grip (?) as they slide down a bit, and I maybe should have stuck to the basic lenses so that I could get two different pairs for $100 versus only being able to afford one pair for $158. But the Kodak blue reflected lenses seemed right up my alley, as they’re supposed to prevent eyestrain while using a phone, computer, or tablet.

When I went in for my eye exam, I got my contact lens prescription updated as well, so it’s not like I’m going to be wearing my glasses all the time. It seemed like a good deal, since I was at the Walmart Vision Center anyway, and altogether the whole ordeal cost me $100.

So, if you’re looking to get your eyes checked, my suggestion is to go to Walmart, get your prescription, then pick up your glasses from Coastal. They’ve always got discounts and deals happening, and you really don’t want to miss their BOGO (buy one, get one) events. Especially if you’ve got a kid with bad eyes and you’re going to have to resize as the kid’s head grows, as they tend to do.

Anyways. I’ve got new glasses. Expect more writing from me, as I can finally see again. Yay.

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THE NEWSROOM — If you’ve got Amazon Prime, you might want to give “The Newsroom” with Jeff Daniels a try. It’s an Aaron Sorkin production and it’s incredibly good. It definitely makes me wish that we had some proper news broadcasts on television, as I don’t tune to the news to be entertained (or bored outta my mind, as CNN seemingly tries to do. I mean, seriously, I get that your target audience is the over-50 crowd and your angle is fear mongering, but wow. You can’t complain that the young people don’t want to watch your channel when all your channel does is regurgitate the same five stories over and over again. You’re lazy. Do your fokking jobs and give people the news. But whatever).

Basically, Will McAvoy (Jeff Daniels) is the host of “News Night with Will McAvoy” at the fictional ACN (Atlantis Cable News) channel. He has a popular show and caters to his audience, until he is assigned a new EP (executive producer) Mackenzie McHale (Emily Mortimer), his ex-girlfriend that he’s still in love with. You’d think that it would be all about hurt feelings and romantic drama, but even though there’s some of that happening, it’s really about the news, focusing on events that happened in real life (the 2010 Presidential election, Benghazi, etc).

It’s a great show. Give it a chance. And I’m totally in love with Neal (Dev Patel) even though he kept trying to push the idea that Bigfoot is real.

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SPAGHETTI — I have been craving and eating a ridiculous amount of spaghetti. I wonder if I have worms, ha. Like, I have literally climbed out of bed to cook spaghetti in the middle of the night.

I’ve even started writing a short story that’s called “Spaghetti at Midnight.” Expect it to make an appearance at Kimichee.

Meanwhile, nom nom nom, I will continue to eat the noodly deliciousness with my sauce of choice, Chunky Prego. I even use Prego when I make lasagna or pizza. It’s my go-to sauce and I would marry it if spaghetti sauce marriage was legal in my state. (It is not. And Kim Davis would refuse to do her job if it was.)

Faizel 02 at Amazon

How do people do the freelance writer thing? It seems near to impossible to me. But then again, there are some days when I can barely crawl my way out of bed.

There are times when the dom/sub, master/slave, caretaker/caretook dynamic of fiction is really appealing to me. Because for sure, I cannot take care of myself. I’m not being facetious or anything. I literally have doubts about my ability to care for myself. And that’s frightening.

I’m tired of being scared. I would like to live a somewhat normal life. Where there’s always food in the fridge and clothes to wear. Maybe a strong partner that can handle home repairs as easily as they succeed at their career.

I hate the anxieties that eat away at me. From the things I cannot handle (house, car, boat, life) on my own to what direction I’m supposed to be moving in. The future seems so uncertain. And I know there are some days when I won’t leave my house.

It’s weird. To be so comfortable in the box that I can’t get myself to leave it. Though sometimes it’s not so comfortable, yet I’d rather endure some self-imposed hardship than go to the store. Because I hate that people look at me (chest, butt, face, teeth) and try to force-meet my eyes. And I hate that sometimes I relish their gazes (commanding the room) and other times I want to cringe away (stop staring at me! I belong to myself).

And in all that confusion — where I find myself running calculations on notebook paper just to experience some semblance of control — it’s easy to lose track of time.

Unless I can find someone to manage me, I despair of ever having a lucrative freelance career.

I’m just too terrified to reach out for that golden opportunity. And those times when I feel brave enough to take on the whole world… I’m manic and should not be trusted with anyone’s heart.