pasta maker
I got the pasta maker I was lusting over and… I’m sending it back. So disappointing.
It’s an amazing machine. An electric pasta maker that also comes with a handle so it can be used manually. You don’t even have to roll out the dough at all. You can just stick a finger flattened wad into the machine and perfect sheets of pasta come out. Or if you put the cutter on you can go straight from a worked dough to noodles with no hassle.
It was loud, but I was willing to cope with that because the machine itself was so great.
It’s just… there was black stuff coming out.
I ran a test wad of dough through, and there were black streaks on the dough edges. And I was just like "Well, instructions for other, manual machines say to run some spare dough through to clean the rollers. I can deal with this." but it didn’t stop.
I kept rolling the dough through, and MORE black stuff kept coming out. Even a CHUNK of black stuff dropped out after I’d rolled the dough through like ten times. It was very disgusting and worrisome.
I love the machine. It’s a great design ruined by substandard practices. Like, you can up the quality a bit and buy food grade rollers and cutters. Come on!
I have no idea what that black stuff was. But it wasn’t stopping coming out. And even if it did, I don’t know where it was coming from and what kind of residue it’s left behind.
Loving something doesn’t mean eating a bunch of possibly cancer-causing goop. No thank you. We have a vaccine for that.
So while the machine is everything I want,–
- electric, so I can switch it on and instantly make pasta
- washable WITH WATER
- makes dough sheets so I can make potstickers and ravioli
- cuts noodles
- fun to use
–back it goes.
And I’m very sad about that. I really wanted the machine to work out for me.
When the refund money comes, I’m going to try one of those electric hairdryer-looking pasta extruder machines. They don’t make sheets (my potstickers!) but I’ll be able to squeeze out spaghetti, linguini, fettuccini, some of them let you do macaroni, I don’t know, I’m still looking around.
Though honestly, if I had the money and I was just looking at a "spaghetti maker," I would splurge for a Phillips Pasta and Noodle Maker. There’s even extra shaping discs you can buy to make different kinds of shapes.
You throw the flour and the liquid in, and minutes later the machine squeezes out noodles.
It says there’s a lasagna disc, though I’m not sure how wide the dough is (potstickers???) and if you can sandwich two sheets and make your own ravioli. But it’s there as an option.
Stardew Valley
I think the appeal of Stardew Valley is that it’s the closest most of us will ever come to owning a home of our own. You get a character that inherits a LARGE piece of property that comes with a livable house already installed. And while the character starts off with a limited amount of money, with a little bit of work they’re able to afford not just surviving in a cute little town but also upgrading their gear and their house and their entire lifestyle in a way that doesn’t seem possible IRL.
I mean, you could make $1,000 a day and NEVER become a billionaire in your entire lifetime.
While in Stardew Valley, you could spend a day fishing, sell everything you catch and forage on your way back home, and you’ll have $50,000 in a couple of days. Amazing.
Being able to simulate a life that you desire but will never have is enjoyable. It takes away from the complete horror story that real life has become. Yet at the same time it waters down the realization that billionaires are parasites sucking the lifeblood out of us all.
Like, I don’t want to get into identity politics or anything… but billionaires actually really suck. In nearly all ways.
And I know, "They give a ton of money to charity! When we beg and plead for them to show an ounce of humanity, they will pay for someone’s desperately needed cancer treatment! They’re just like us!" but come on. Medical-for-all would cover life-saving treatments and you don’t have to metaphorically suck the dick of a soulless Gargamel.
I love Stardew Valley and I can happily spend tens of hours at a time farming and fishing and seducing the local townies. It’s a solid joy of a game and I’m still only on my first basic farm setup.
It’s a wonderful game with a lot to do without the pressure other games put on you.
There’s "missions," but you choose to do them, and if you fail to finish them there’s no consequences. Your guy just goes around doing farm stuff and miner stuff and explorer stuff and the stress is at an avoidable level. It’s a very pastoral existence much at odds with the stress of living in a modern world.
It’s a quality game.
~Harper Kingsley
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