I realize that people of late are scared for the future. Not in the "They’re going to kill us all!"-way that the aholes mock–and it’s like, "What the fuck are you mocking, dude? They’ve LITERALLY SAID that they want to kill you and your family. They don’t believe that anyone outside of their bubbles are real people. It’s scary shit."–but more in the "Groceries are going to be very expensive. And some things are going to be hard to get."-way.
As such, there are some "splurgy" purchases that I’m seriously looking at.
My current obsession is an ice cream maker.
If I had the money, I would get one that has a compressor so I could just add ingredients and have ice cream. The nostalgia old-timey type seem cute, but I don’t want to deal with a bunch of salt water afterward. So I’m currently looking at the kind that have the bowl you freeze, and the ice cream maker itself is basically just an automatic churning machine.
Can you use an ice cream maker to make butter? 🤔
And I know. You’re like "If you’re so poor, why are you willing to buy an ice cream maker???"
Because ice cream is delicious and everyone deserves a bit of joy in their life.
Because the cheap ice cream costs over $6 for 1.5 quarts when it’s not on sale. And there’s a good chance the price is only going to go up.
Because dairy and soy and nut milks are good for the body and I really should be ingesting more of it versus sugary drinks. And on that note, if I’m making my own ice cream, or frozen yogurt, or gelato (I guess gelato churns at a slower rate, so your ice cream machine might not do a good job making it), or sherbet, or sorbet, I am in control of what ingredients go into the machine and I can be assured of the quality of product that comes out.
Because if shit happens and the global economy goes straight into the toilet… I could be making and selling ice cream. Could you imagine being in the movie world of "The Book of Eli" and you’re the only one that can walk around with a cart of ice cream to sell?
"But if it was the end of the world, where would you get the ingredients for ice cream? How would you get electricity? How would you chill the bowl?"–Dude, you sure have a lot of questions. Good thing I have the answers: I would make Kool-Aid sorbet (Kool-Aid, sugar, water, gelatin). I would get solar panels or a generator or I’d make a windmill or I’d repurpose an old bicycle, there’s many ways to make electricity. And to freeze the bowl, I would have to look around and figure out how to get/make saltpeter (potassium nitrate) or I’d figure out a yakchal or something. And if I were a smarter person, I’d probably be able to come up with a hundred other ways to run my ice cream maker at the end of the world.
And probably in that situation, my ice cream maker would be repurposed for parts or would be used to do some other non-ice cream related task.
But for the now…
I have my mini-donut maker, and that has seen some use. I’ve put cornbread mix in it, I’ve done muffin mix, I’ve made cake mix. And while it is an easy way for a few people to eat an entire box cake worth of mini-donuts in one sitting, there are many other things I can cook in it, and they will cook fast. (Beaten eggs with tiny bits of cooked ham, bell pepper, mushroom, a dash of milk. Crab cakes or tuna cakes. Polenta?) And there’s just something about little mini-donut shaped foods that make people want to pick them up and eat them. You could probably even make biscuit chewing rings for babies or happy pets. There are many available options. The machine is worth the money.
The egg maker I bought hasn’t seen as much use as intended, mostly because eggs are so expensive. But when I tried it out, the hardboiled eggs it made were perfect, and remarkably easy to peel. It was great. I had a bit of a problem making omelets, with the first one coming out perfectly but the ones afterward giving me difficulties, but everything made was edible. No food wasted. Plus I chose the big egg maker because it can also steam other food, and I have plans for the next time I make dumplings.
I’ve got my electric composting machine that turns kitchen waste into dry granules. I mostly run it every other day, and while it does use electricity, it doesn’t use that much. And it honestly makes me compost rather than just throwing everything in the trash can because I don’t want to run outside when it’s raining. Even if I threw the compost granules into the trash can, that would still be less garbage going to the landfill than if it wasn’t run through the machine.
And I know, it’s not real compost. It’s the first step of compost. You run your household scraps through the machine, then you throw the resultant granules into your compost pile, and then you let nature do it’s own thing. But because it’s all chopped up small and mixed together, it composts faster and you can use it sooner in your garden or to build up your soil and raise the quality of your property. You don’t have to throw away all that "trash." You can bury it in a hole.
So for me, the electric composter machine was a good purchase (on the part of my dad who bought it for my birthday), and I don’t regret having it. I use it ALL THE TIME.
There are some "splurges" that actually raise the quality of your life to the point that they aren’t splurges. They are useful gadgets that it is good to have in your house. So if you see one being sold used for $10 and it still looks brand new (the owners got something newer and need to get rid of the old) it might be worth your time to buy it and try it. And if you don’t like it, you sell it to someone else for $10.
Though I’m a hoarder, so if I buy an ice cream machine and it doesn’t break, it will be following me for the rest of my life. The repository of all the fruits I gather from my yard and the grocery store (strawberry ice cream, blueberry ice cream, plum ice cream, blackberry ice cream, cherry ice cream, pear ice cream, green tea ice cream, chocolate ice cream). And that doesn’t seem so bad.
In a world that has become so full of bitterness… I just want to eat a little bit of ice cream. Not too sweet. Not too tart. Mellow and creamy, and maybe secretly spiked with fiber powder or carrot juice or beet powder. The options are endless.
~Harper Kingsley
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