I’ve been using my old bluetooth keyboard with my phone to post on twitter and to write this post.
I bought it so long ago that I’m not quite sure when I got it, but it was cheap and the little deer on the silicone skin appealed to me. I just couldn’t say No to it.
Well, if you look you can see that there’s a little keyboard icon on the Control button. So I couldn’t figure out how to make emojis while using a keyboard and I was trying all sorts of things, including the whole “Command + Control + Spacebar” combo suggested by the Internet
I was hitting the keys over and over, and after a whole bunch of times the keyboard would switch to emoji and it was like Yay! but I couldn’t figure out how to make it consistent.
Until I found out that all I needed to be hitting was “Control + Spacebar.” That little keyboard icon was actually a bit of a hint lol.
And then I started typing and my Q key was typing A’s and my A key was typing Q’s and it turned out I was using the French keyboard.
I honestly thought my fumbling around had broken the keyboard. I was like “If this thing’s broken, how do I even fix it?”
Technology, man. It teaches you new stuff everyday.
Anyways, another funny thing was I was blabbering on Twitter and I casually shared the anecdote about the time I ate a bunch of mushrooms, slammed back some orange juice, then thought it was a good idea to watch the Venture Brothers while tripping balls.
It was basically a light “Don’t do that. I was really stupid”-type of story.
Yet I immediately got two concerned people in my mentions offering to sell me quality mushrooms at rockbottom prices.
And it’s like, “My dudes: I don’t want any shrooms. And if I did, I wouldn’t get them from YOU, stranger on the Internet. Weird.”
Like, how do they deliver them? Do they bring them direct to my door in their DEA van?
Some people trying to sell illegal stuff on the Internet are so bonkers. Like, if they’re not secretly cops, then they’re basically one sale away from being busted by cops because how sloppy are you going to be?
And at the same time, why would I ever buy questionable substances that I’m going to EAT from some rando that replies to every mention of “shrooms” with an offer to sell some???
They already taste like ass. Who knows how those weirdos grow them or package them? Super unsafe.
Like, I live in a state where they grow in the wild. People go out in the season with a collection basket and grab them along with wild flowers and what-have-yous and dry them themselves. (As long as they’re not in a bag, there’s no expectation that you’re going to sell them. If they’re in a basket of other things, you likely just grabbed them on mistake thinking they were something else.)
I just can’t imagine anyone replying to one of those Internet weirdos with “You’re going to sell me illegal stuff direct to my mailbox??? Thank you so much! I would love some. Here’s some Paypal money!”
Who do they even manage to sell to??? Like, dumb kids that never went through the DARE program?
I honestly think Twitter needs to go through and start kicking people like that off. They’re a hazard to other users and themselves. Like, this is not the first time randos have popped up in my mentions attempting to sell me drugs.
There’s a reason the school districts are suing social media companies. They are not doing enough to protect their users. It’s shameful.
And kind of hilarious in its stupidity.
