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He wanted to feel nothing. To be a mote in the air.

To be as emotionless and free from burden as everyone else he knew.

But there were memories. Things he long since should have forgotten. And sometimes they bubbled up out of him and he would experience a vertigo so strong that he had to fight to keep his feet.

Windmilling his arms uncontrollably as the ground rushed up toward him, or that’s what it would feel like when he fell.

Overwhelming. Unendurable.

An unstoppable something that he could only endure.

Until the medcheck came back positive. And he finally understood that Old World saying–"It’s not always good to be too positive"–that he’d personally retconned from an Old World magazine image file.

I haven’t seen this movie before… but I have thoughts about where I would like it to go.

I like the experience of other peoples’ lives. In seeing other peoples’ ways of thoughts. Translated through books and movies.

So that if I’m talking to someone, and they start talking about a particular book or series in a questionable way… I can tell whether we’re going to be fighting in the future.

Like, “How to Recognize a Sociopath 101.”

If I don’t hear a “It was bonkers!” or “There’s some serious blood and gore and it’s definitely not for everyone” in there… side-eye city.

I’ve found that the scariest thing to discover was that some people take books and movies seriously.

The writer can be screaming out their disdain and hatred for the subject matter, and some reader will be like “The Evil Empire is really bad ass. This author gets me. I’d join the Evil Empire if it was real.” vibes.

For reals, yo: I don’t want to live through your personal World War II reenactment fantasy.

Holster your excitement, buddy.

The fun thing about reenactments is being able to go home afterward. When we’re really in an End of the World-scenario due to the personal whims of a few, it’s not fun. It’s stressful and unpleasant.

I am not a sims character. I did not sign on to be some kind of a simulicra in someone else’s “Ruler of the World!” fantasy.

Reading for-fun novels can really give a clear glimpse into the minds of other people. The story is being seen through the eye of the author. The things they would notice when looking around a room. Or the things they would think about at home afterward.

The way people talk about books and movies and TV shows is a precursor to their later behavior. A clue about the kind of person they would be.

When a big “bright but grimdark” piece of media comes out, the way people react to it says a lot about them. And I’m not talking about when you talk about a piece of media even though the person says they don’t want to hear about it and they respond negatively.

I’m talking about when the person brings it up on their own. Like, it wasn’t a part of the conversation, but now it’s here and everyone has an opinion on it, some louder and more fervent than others.

And it’s a really problematic piece of work. Mostly because of consumer response to it.

Like, “I don’t think it should not exist, but it’s not my cup of tea. I prefer This to That” is my casual mindset. But I don’t think people should be bringing it up in front of children or in business settings.

I’m sure parents don’t appreciate their young children talking about chest-bursters in questionable language. Much as they don’t want their children to learn about romance through GoT.

I don’t know. Moderation is key.

Wow. People have bought my books from Smashwords. Thank you. 🙏🏼

You don’t understand the spell I’m under to these Chinese novels. (It’s some kind of obsessive disorder 🤷🏻‍♀️. Once I start something, I’ve got to finish, even if it completely derails everything else.)

The thing about the Chinese novels is that I’m enjoying them through a (somewhat shady) machine translation site one chapter at a time. For like 1200+ times -_-; for some stories.

So I’ve got to constantly go to the next page and restart my read-to-me function. It’s a bit inconvenient.

And also, I keep emphasizing "Chinese novels" because the settings relate to Chinese culture, whether past, present, or alternate universe. And I don’t speak or read the Chinese language, so the novels are machine translated, which means there’s usually (a lot) of Engrishu happening.

And it’s fine. I’m not angry. I’m enjoying Chinese novels and there’s a price of convenience to be paid. It’s just that I’m having to listen to them at 1x speed rather that my usual 4x. And it’s because the language issues means I have to concentrate more on absorbing content…

I find Chinese novels to be more understandable than Japanese novels(, and manga are the most easy to understand. And then animes show the most understandable content.). There’s a bigger gap in culture?

Like, nobody is cutting off my fingers. Or any other part of my body.

For reals: Why would you work for a boss that would permanently disable you? Like, you’ve watched the dude murder-death-kill dozens of people (some your own men!) and while you never want to think that you’ll fuck up like that… events transpire.

Plus, in a lot of movies, it turns out to be their own kid or their coworker’s kid starting a series of events that the person is then drawn into. Stuff they get punished for not stopping happen.

Like, when your boss has a history of brutally punishing people to protect their (usually adult-)child: Why would you work for that person?

That is a person lacking in social conscience.

Which means they’ll maybe feel a little remorse 50 years later… While in the moment they’ll make "the hard" decision. That’s a kind of person you don’t want to work for.

I mean, that kind of person is bad enough in everyday life. Having that person as your boss? In some way in charge of your access to money? Yikes.