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The skin on my hands is so thin. It gets dry really fast, and it’s so thin that I just touch a piece of cardboard and the next thing I know there’s blood running out all over the place. Ridiculous.

I didn’t even realize the bottom of the steamer basket was sharp until I was washing it and boom! My thumb is sliced from one side to the other. I barely even touched the metal! If I’d used even a little bit of effort or moved my thumb on it, it likely could have cut me to the bone.

It makes me think of all those people that firmly believe they would live like kings after they help end the world. And it’s just like, "Nah. You’re gonna die from tetanus, Terry Tenderfoot."

For reals: The idea of society collapsing and being able to go out and claim a big chunk of land and start farming and instantly produce enough food to feed a whole extended family… That’s Little House on the Prairie-syndrome, and it’s dumb as shit.

Because Little House on the Prairie is a bunch of lies written by someone that wanted to coat all the terrible memories with nostalgia and let people that have never experienced any kind of hardship think that "the American spirit!" is so strong it can overcome everything and with a little effort a family can survive anything and thrive in the face of adversity.

When it turns out that Pa from Little House on the Prairie worked for the railroad, and that’s how he and his family didn’t die from his crazy desire to be an old-timey version of a Sovereign Citizen. He was a libertarian before libertarians were a thing.

Oh, and I guess there was this whole thing where Pa was well-known for habitually robbing the kitchen gardens and crops of his neighbors. Resulting in a bunch of his neighbors nearly starving to death. Which is, at it’s base, a familiar representation of the American spirit.

Honestly, I would love for someone to make a REAL movie about the Little House on the Prairie books. Not the rose-colored vision we’ve all been fed. But the cold hard truth, no matter how cruel and disheartening it seems to be.

I want the REAL American stories. Not the propaganda we all grew up with.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

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Hogfather at Amazon

Somebody’s dog was barking and barking.

I don’t like it.

That dog was doing its job, and its family was not doing theirs. The tone of that dog’s voice was "Danger!"

Please don’t leave dogs outside overnight. Not unless they have a protective shelter of their own.

These are bad times. Stupid people are going to do desperate things. Things that could cost you your life.

I hate it so much. I wish things could just settle down and go into Peaceful Happy World-mode rather than the current, high-stress, Pre-Apocalypse setting.

For reals: I wish people would just calm the fuck down.

We get it. Your "god" has sent you secret coded messages carried by way of an obvious grifter televangelist-school-of-thought motherfucker. We get it.

If you want to believe in God, believe in God! But stop going out there worshipping at the feet of little fucking "gods," i.e. the false prophets taking over your churches.

You know you don’t have to accept the first preacher they send you, right?

For reals: There are some people in positions of religious or political authority that should not be there. Sometimes they don’t have the temperament for it. And sometimes they’re awful people that should not be in a position of power over anybody.

And you, the chuch-goer, has the ability to choose who is going to preach to you. And it is your responsibility to choose someone that will help you be a better person for God.

At the very least, you want someone that has actually read the Bible and believes in it. Not someone that just uses random Bible verses to browbeat people and grift. Like, you can hire whatever spiritual adviser you would like. But don’t try to wrap your weirdness in the sheepskin of Christianity.

You worship an Internet influencer. Someone that bows down to a "reality TV"-gameshow host. Like, you let that dude tell you who to vote for. You really need to reflect on yourself and what you’re doing here.

You could be doing so much better as a person.

And like, the bulk of the people taking on this madness are what I would consider rich.

They are well-off enough that even if they had to declare bankruptcy, they would still be able to live comfortable lives.

As someone that’s staring down the barrel of a bleak old age… You people have too much money to be acting this irresponsibly. And stupid.

If this is generational wealth, there’s some grandparents that need to step in and tell the parents to hold off on their children’s allowances. That hey, all this recklessness is damaging the brand.

Like, what the fuck dude? What are you doing? This is NOT a good way to be doing business.

You are going to end up killing your whole family and the families of all of your employees.

And I know a lot of rich fucks don’t want to focus on ideas such as fidelity, morals, ethics, and fairness. And I think a big part of that is the way they treat "socialism" as though it’s a deadly virus.

Like, they would rather go out maskless into the midst of a life-ruining pandemic than to read a book, watch a movie, accept a concept that includes the ideas I really wish rich people would soak into their brains:

  • Medical For All is a good thing because nobody should go into life ruining debt because of medical expenses. Rich pharmaceutical companies and companies that make life bettering devices would still be rich because the tax money gathered from rich people could pay for free medical for everyone, and then those stocks will be worth more money and the rich people would earn back the amount they paid in taxes. And with medical for all, people will be in all around better health, which results in less people needing seriously expensive services. Their medical issues would be solved at their start rather than festering.
  • Treating employees well, and as HUMAN BEINGS rather than as "employees"-derogatory, results in happier people. It means you aren’t going to be badmouthed on the street. Those employees aren’t going to go home in a bad mood and create a ripple of discontent that results in you and your family being dragged out of your homes ala The French Revolution (insert mustache twirl).
  • Ensuring school funding results in smarter happier people. People that have something to lose and aren’t willing to burn down your house to cover up their crime of robbery. Or who realize that murdering someone is a much more serious crime then admitting to robbery and possibly just paying a big fine.
  • A Universal Basic Income is good for society as a whole. People will still work because humans are in-built with a desire for "MORE!" They’ll want better cars, better clothes, better everything, all those consumer goods that result in fat stock market returns. And they’ll feel freer to buy all those things because they won’t have all the stress of surviving. And as long as the UBI is tax-free money and housing credits, any money they get more than that, is money that’s free to spend. Whether on consumer goods or poured into the stock market, the result is rich people getting richer while not creating bad blood with the 99% of other Not Them people. (Seriously: People would be willing to spend a few hours a week working in a factory packing boxes, and there could be so many people that all the shifts would be covered, yet they’d all be part-time workers, saving the employer money.)

Before all this stupid shit started happening, I never gave a thought to billionaires.

Loud-mouthed New Money is blowing up your spot, Old Money! Your grandkids are fucking it all up!

I honestly don’t understand how the more intelligent rich people aren’t reining in these sloppy motherfuckers. You don’t have to be behaving in such a way.

You can be massively, unbelievably rich, and not be a turd sandwich.

That rich people are choosing to present themselves this way to normal people. It’s fucking shameful and ridiculous.

They waste massive amounts of money fucking around, and it makes me hate them. It’s like those videos where the people just waste massive amounts of food for views.

Like, you can slop the food around and portray yourself as the messiest cook in existence, but why not make food that’s edible? You can make huge, bulk portions for your video. Then after you get your shots, you can separate the completed food into glass or steel containers and freeze them and eat them later. You could write-off the cost of buying the containers because they’re part of your business, AND they’re reusable and easy to sterilize.

(I was gathering knowledge again. Weird tidbits.

165 degrees Fahrenheit to kill salmonella, 160 to kill e.Coli. Boiling water is 212 degrees. And it takes temperatures of 1100-1850 degrees Fahrenheit to kill prions.

We are letting them screw up food safety while dismantling the CDC and making scientists focus more on their CVs than the plethora of diseases that are currently running rampant. MADNESS. Everywhere.)

It’s neat to find out someone went from their home kitchen with a camera phone to being a millionaire with a studio in their home. It’s respectable. You worked at your chosen job and you made enough money to live well.

But I hate food waste videos. Prank videos. Being an asshole in public for money videos. Desperate for money videos.

And that last… I can’t watch desperate for money videos because I don’t have any money myself, so I see that behavior and it makes me feel bad on the inside. But if someone with some real money saw a person willing to degrade themselves for a little money, maybe you could offer them $50,000 to NOT do those sorts of videos anymore?

Like, those videos start getting a lot of hits when the commentary people come onto the scene. Then the video gets mentioned somewhere and more and more people look at it, clip it, talk about it. But without that viral attention, those people are getting a handful of views, and $5 would really help them a lot. To the point that $50,000 would see them relievedly deleting their previous videos.

I saw a commentary video that included clips of women eating "ridiculous amounts of food" and "disgusting food" for money. Even aside from the obvious feeder fetish content that’s front-and-center, there are a lot of "people doing things they wouldn’t otherwise choose to do and that are objectively horrifying" videos out there.

And I think the problem is, you used to have to deal with an actual person, pay them money, and have them do your fetish shit for you. And now you can get your fetish fulfilled by scrolling through your feed. It’s to the point that some people have fetishes that they don’t even realize they have, because their needs are being met by short Instagram or TikTok videos.

"Why do I keep seeing videos containing [obvious fetish content] on my For You page?"–Because that’s the content you’ve been consuming. You didn’t realize it, but those "funny" videos you’ve been watching and sharing with your friends are fetish content. That you’re blasting on main.

And social media is making people weird. And not in a natural way.

Like, rich people spent TRILLIONS of dollars, a lot of which that came from taxpayers, to do studies and experiments on how to control our minds.

And then they just released that content out into the wild.

And the government didn’t put any protections in place.

And now there are whole accounts pretending to be people that are actually grifter crews or terrible marketing departments of shady brands.

Like, you can just make a commercial and show it. If it features an influencer or celebrity that people like, your product will receive eyes on it.

You don’t have to hide your commercials as being real content. It makes you seem like an asshole brand. And you’re beginning to ruin the careers of the influencers you’re bribing.

Cut it out.

But anyways. A dog was barking with that "Danger! High alert!" bark. That semi-panicked "Somebody get out here and help me!" bark. That call for backup sort of bark.

And I think rich people should provide people with a sensor that will turn on the camera when it hears a dog barking. And if we could program it to ONLY respond to the sound of specific dog voices. Or cat voices. Or whatever your animal of choice’s voice. That would be so useful.

Like how cool would it be if your specific favorite wild bird could make its call and your camera would switch on and start recording at high visual and audio quality? And you’d get an alert so you can look and like move the camera around and adjust the settings?

I was so ready for an awesome future, but a bunch of aholes had to embrace apocalyptic ideals and make every terrible thing from sci-fi movies happen in real life.

Why?

I don’t even think they know why they’re doing what they’re doing.

They’ll come up with so many separate issues and it’s the most annoying shit ever.

You didn’t have to vaccinate your children. There has never been a law forcing you to vaccinate your children. It’s just that your unvaccinated children should not be allowed in the general public. And when they do go out, they should be wearing masks and practicing higher sanitary standards that are safe for everyone. (DO NOT spray anything in a public place. Do not use chemicals or smear stuff everywhere. Nobody wants to ruin their clothes or die from anaphylaxis because you felt like being an inconsiderate asshole on the bus. Use real hand sanitizer that’s unscented and change your clothes when you get home.) They can lay down a cushion to sit if allowed, and they should not be touching everything around them.

"But that’s against my freedom!"–How? Nobody’s stopping you from going out in public. And that’s why there keeps being outbreaks of diseases we thought were finally cured and gone forever. Like, if you’re a staunch antivaxxer, you don’t want to hear my opinions about what shots people SHOULD DEFINITELY give to their children, and that you’re a child abuser if you don’t get them.

"Feel free to kill your children, people. But stop rubbing it in my face. It’s disgusting and disturbing and I really really hate it." That’s how I feel.

"But that’s so mean!"–Yeah. But I’m tired and you guys don’t listen. You guys have created enough havoc that I have my own problems to deal with and your children don’t interest me. I’ll mourn them when I hear about them amidst the mass messaging, but I cannot FORCE you to vaccinate your children. I can’t force you not to feed them raw milk or raw eggs or urine. I can’t force you not to unschool them.

But we can force you not to hire other people to abuse them. No. You have to do that shit yourself. Your "conversion therapies" are torture you pay other people to commit on your children, and it’s gross.

People had so many freedoms that are now being taken away. Like, you guys voted for aholes because you want to be free and live your life and do all the things that you want to do! which are basically all the things that you’ve always been legally allowed to do. But those guys you voted for are taking all kinds of things away from you!

You voted in a guy that’s now taking all your shit.

It’s bonkers to me. And I do still have questions about the election results. I don’t trust them.

Like, maybe enough people allowed themselves to be disincentivized to vote… But there were a lot of things that helped them pull off that scheme. Like, they made it SUPER HARD to vote. They threw away a lot of votes, and let a lot of votes be destroyed, and there’s questions about hacking and gerrymandering and all kinds of things that culminated in an election that’s very questionable to me. I honestly believe Harris should have won.

But I’m a single person. A lone voice. And there’s a lot of people that are quick to deny that the election was rigged, therefore there’s no way to call for an investigation. So I have to swallow the poison pill and hope that it doesn’t kill me. I mean, the diarrhea is going to be terrible and maybe I’m going to be left permanently debilitated at the end, but I’ll be somewhat alive, and that’s all that any of us can hope for.

That these next few years aren’t going to kill us. That the global economy will somehow be lifted back up and all the genocides will stop without anybody being genocided.

And oh, when they force people to give birth to babies they’re not ready or willing to have, please make sure to remind EVERYONE that a vitamin K shot is necessary.

A vitamin K shot is one of those things that resulted in someone getting like a Nobel Peace Prize for thinking of it because it’s saved the lives of billions of babies worldwide. And anybody that likens it to the completely different drug they would use for lethal injections in executions can shut the fuck up. "Potassium = K, therefore vitamin K is…" stop yourself. Anything else you say, I’m not going to believe it. You’re wrong.

When a baby is born, it’s not able to produce vitamin K on its own. Therefore, if you accidentally bump that baby too hard, or it wriggles and falls or something happens, that baby could start bleeding internally and DIE. Because it does not have the vitamin K that plays such a crucial role in blood clotting.

A baby without vitamin K does not bruise. It bleeds to death.

When a baby is born, the doctor or the midwife gives the baby a vitamin K shot, and snap! just like that, the likelihood of that baby "mysteriously dying" in its crib goes away.

Because that vitamin K shot gives that baby enough vitamin K to last them until their body starts producing it on their own.

And because of that shot, numerous babies are able to live to see their first birthday. Numerous small tragedies have been averted. Because of one VERY NECESSARY shot.

And also, if someone tells you that folate is poison and you shouldn’t be taking it, especially when you’re pregnant… That person is a Bad Operator. A lack of folate can result with a baby being born without the top of their skull and a lifespan of DAYS. It’s a tragedy in the making. Don’t involve yourself with that person.

There’s a lot of violent stupid people out there right now. You need to stop letting them in through your Internet and TV. We all need to try and do better, because our lack of care has given them a foothold in our lives that shouldn’t exist.

"I don’t watch your videos or listen to your podcasts. Why do I have to deal with your fans devastating multiple countries and adversely effecting the lives of me and everyone around me? Why are you like that?" I hate it.

Pax,

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

Faizel 02 at Amazon

I got an ice cream maker and it came today, so the first thing I did was to wash the bowl and freeze it. Definitely not long enough. Like, you’re supposed to do 16-24 hours, and I only froze it for 5 hours, but I really wanted to try it out. And right now the bowl is back in the freezer, so tomorrow I’m going to make another batch and it will probably come out better.

Because even at 5 hours freezing, the ice cream came out like a soft serve. And I used the vanilla ice cream recipe from my previous post, and OMG. It’s very tasty!

It tastes like vanilla ice cream. Not too sweet, nice texture. It was very easy to mix up. And the way the machine works, you just pour the ice cream base into the turning bowl, and the turning basically moves the ice cream against the paddle that doesn’t itself move.

I churned the ice cream for 25 minutes, added a handful of mini-semisweet chocolate chips, then churned it for another 5 minutes. Then I froze the ice cream in a container in the freezer. And voila. Ice cream has been achieved.

I’m very pleased right now.

My brother has been buying A LOT of ice cream lately. Carton after carton of ice cream that costs $6-7 a pop. And the ice cream maker was $50, which means I could make ice cream 10 times, and the machine will have paid for itself.

I bought 2 cartons of heavy cream ($5.67 each), a bottle of 100% pure vanilla extract ($5.72), and a 1/2 gallon of whole milk ($1.88), and BOOM! For less than $20 I can make 8 quarts of ice cream (and some alfredo and whatever else I want to use the cream or vanilla for). And there will be enough vanilla leftover so that next time I just need to buy cream and milk.

It’s going to be plum season soon(ish)–like, I can already see little tiny green plums forming on the trees–so I’m excited to make some plum ice cream. And the strawberries are just getting their blossoms now, but during the summertime there will be strawberry ice cream. And we have a blueberry bush that has a ton of blossoms on it, so there will be blueberries later and hopefully there will be enough to make some blueberry syrup.

I’m very much looking forward to never having to buy ice cream again. Plus I’ve seen recipes for sorbet, sherbet, and the way the machine works, I’m pretty sure I can use it to make my own slushies. I like the red flavor or the Coke flavor. Plus there’s strawberry daiquiri recipes and pina colada recipes that I would like to try, and I think I can do them in the ice cream maker.

It’s basically a frozen bowl that spins the contents around until they freeze. A very simple design.

I know it seems expensive, but it is on sale right now (it’s usually like $80), so it seems more cost-effective than buying one of the smaller cup mixer ice cream makers for $30, or a slushie cup for $20. The machine I got can make 1.5 quarts at a time.

But you don’t need an ice cream maker to make ice cream. It’s a little more work, but you can throw the ingredients into a mason jar, shake it up, freeze it, then shake it up again every 30 minutes for 2 hours, and bam. A personal serving of ice cream.

It’s just that our refrigerator is dying. It makes a lot of noise. It’s been very unequal in its cooling. So I would rather open the freezer the least amount as possible. Take frozen bowl out, make ice cream, put cleaned freezer bowl and ice cream back in, close the freezer and don’t touch it. That’s my life plan at the moment.

Like, new refrigerators cost from $1500. I’m saving up to buy a chest freezer ($220) so I don’t have to worry about self-defrosting and refrosting meat. And then I can use that for my ice cream.

I don’t know. Life is hard.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.

A City On Mars at Amazon

My unbirthday

My unbirthday is coming up, May 12th.

This year, I’ll make myself some cake and some ice cream. I’ll try to post pictures, but don’t expect anything too spectacular. I’ve never made ice cream before.

I’m very excited to try.

A lot of ice cream recipes feature using egg yolks, and I’m not even going to mess with that. Professional factories have the facilities to pasteurize their eggs and to ensure that they are for sure able to heat their ice cream base to the temperature that’s safest.

This is not the time to be risking health and safety for some ice cream. I’m just not going to go there.

So I looked around for no-cooking, egg-free ice cream recipes:

VANILLA ICE CREAM

  • 1 C whole milk
  • 1/3 C granulated sugar
  • 1 C heavy cream
  • 2 tsp pure vanilla extract

Whisk together milk and sugar until sugar dissolves. Then gently stir in the heavy cream and vanilla extract. And boom.

Cool the base for a couple hours, then run it through your ice cream machine.

CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM

  • 1-1/2 C whole milk
  • 1/2 C unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 C granulated sugar
  • 2 C heavy cream
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

Whisk together the milk, cocoa powder, and sugar. Whisk until the sugar and cocoa are dissolved.

In a large bowl, beat the heavy cream until it forms stiff peaks. Then stir the vanilla into the cocoa mixture and fold the whipped cream into the cocoa mixture.

Refrigerate your base at least 30 minutes, then run it through an ice cream machine.

STRAWBERRY ICE CREAM

  • 3 C (16 oz) strawberries (no stems, sliced or diced)
  • 4 Tbsp lemon juice
  • 1-1/2 C granulated sugar, divided (1/2 cup + 1 cup)
  • 1-1/2 C whole milk
  • 2-3/4 C heavy cream
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract

In a bowl, combine the strawberries, lemon juice, and 1/2 cup of sugar. Gently stir together. Cover and let stand at room temperature for 2 hours to let the strawberries release their juices. Then strain the berries, retaining the juice.

Divide the berries in half, and put one half covered in the fridge. Mash and puree the other half. Set aside the bowl.

In a medium sized bowl, stir the 1 cup of sugar into the milk until the sugar dissolves. Then stir in the heavy cream, the reserved strawberry juice, the mashed strawberries, and the vanilla extract. (You can add a few drops of red food coloring at this point, if you want a redder ice cream.) Refrigerate your base for at least 30 minutes.

Churn the ice cream in the ice cream maker. And add the reserved strawberries 5 minutes before the ice cream is done churning. Then freeze the ice cream for at least 2 hours so it’s firm for scooping.

You can make it with fresh strawberries, or with frozen strawberries that have been thawed.


For all three recipes, you don’t have to use whole milk, but it won’t be as fluffy an ice cream.

If you had to, you could use half-and-half for the vanilla and strawberry ice cream.

I know that some people buy heavy cream and half-and-half and like cream cheese and butter, and they freeze them to use for baking and other recipes. So they might have those and not milk.

Anyways, I’ve got three ice cream recipes to try and I’ll let you know if any of them are terrible. Otherwise, as far as I know these are good recipes.

And I just got 3 quart-sized reusable ice cream tubs, so I have enough storage for all three flavors.

I also got some mini-semisweet chocolate chips. I’ve got some recipes for chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, raspberry sauce, blueberry sauce, and maple glaze, which I think might be delicious on ice cream.

I’m actually really excited to make some ice cream.

~Harper Kingsley

https://paypal.me/harperkingsley.

https://patreon.com/harperkingsley.

https://ko-fi.com/harperwck.

https://amazon.com/shop/harperkingsley0.
https://www.harperkingsley.net/blog.
https://kimichee.com.

https://www.youtube.com/c/HarperKingsley.

https://harperkingsley.bsky.social.
https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/HarperKingsley.