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0 comments on "Life is a metaphor"

I needed to use the bathroom but a previous person had clogged the toilet. So I was using the plunger and flushing the toilet, trying to get the water to flow, but I really needed to go to the bathroom.

So finally I was like “I’ve gotta use this toilet. The afterwards is future-me’s problem.”

And the whole time I’m stressing out that I’m still going to have to clear up that clog.

But when I flushed… the water went down.

All the plunging I’d done had fixed the problem and all I’d needed to do was flush one more time.

And I think that’s what a lot of problems in life are like.

Sure, there are times when you flush and the clog is still there and you have to flush some more or you end up having to buy some chemical declogger. But other times you plunge and flush and plunge and flush and boom, the line clears and takes all the problems with it.

It’s the fear of having to deal with a clog–and possibly having the toilet overflow everywhere–that keeps people from acting when they should. And instead people just stand around stressing until they pee in the drain or go outside. Or they pee in the toilet, and when the clog is still there after they flush, they shrug and leave it to be someone else’s problem.

But sometimes a clog can be solved with a little bit of effort. A little concentration. A little bit of care.

All it takes is not leaving the clog for someone else to deal with. It’s rolling up your sleeves, setting your feet, and using the plunger until the problem clears itself away.

Kakushigoto 01 at Amazon
0 comments on "Respect Your Teachers, Kids"

Saw a video where a high schooler went around the school calling teachers by their first names, and that’s so disrespectful.

Like, this is a person that went to YEARS of schooling to be a teacher, and you’re completely dismissing that to win points with strangers on the Internet.

Plus I see it as a boundary issue.

There should be a separation between teachers and students. Teachers are not your friends and they should not be your friends. They for sure are not your peers and not people you should be hanging around outside of school hours and the safety of a school setting.

When I was a kid, there was a group of kids that boasted they went over to the science teacher’s house and smoked weed after school. It was not a surprise to find out later that one of them had sex with the teacher at his house.

The biggest red flag? They called the teacher by his first name. Like, they really thought of him as their friend. Zero awareness that he had preyed upon them. Why? Boundary issues.

It’s like all the stories of professors in colleges having sex with their teaching assistants. (Remember that “philosophy” lady that dumped her husband and married her teaching assistant? Like, abuse of power or what?!?) Or like the stories of people exchanging sexual favors for better grades and they’re like “I showed my boobs for an extension on that big important paper and later I got an A in the class. Winning!” And it’s like, “Nah dude. That was just prostitution with extra steps. You literally just sex-worked for a better grade.”

And it takes people like ten years or twenty years later to realize that “Hey, I was abused!” And yeah. That’s the subversiveness of rape culture, man.

I totally believe there should be a boundary between teachers and students. That “Mr” or “Mrs” or “Ms” or “Miss” or “Mizz” is there for a reason.

It’s to remind the teacher that no, you can’t have a personal relationship with your student no matter how sexy-sexy you find them to be. And it’s supposed to remind the student that the teacher is not just another kid in the class. That’s not your friend hanging out at the front of the room; that’s someone that can totally fuck up your grades if you hurt their feelings.

Boundaries, man. They exist for a reason.

Small Gods at Amazon
1 comment on "Cold Fried Chicken"

There’s something so lovely about cold fried chicken straight out of the refrigerator. Especially when it’s eaten in the middle of the night, alone, with no witnesses.

Even the Safeway fried chicken–which is WAY too salty and fried in some vaguely disgusting oil–can be gobbled down late at night.

Cold fried chicken meat gets solid, which gives it a nice feeling to bite into. I like to peel most of the skin off, eating the tastiest bits and discarding the rest. I don’t like the texture of the non-crispy skin, just as I don’t like the taste and the texture of fat in chicken or beef or any other meat.

I like solid and dry, not drippy and gooey as fat tends to be.

Cold fried chicken is delicious. I also like cold roast beef. To the point that sometimes I consider making a whole roast just to slice it, wrap it up, and put it in the refrigerator to get cold so it can be eaten a slice at a time while standing in the kitchen at night, the only light the open fridge door as I ignore the cold air blasting out as I gobble down bite after bite.

I also like cold pizza straight from the fridge. Where the cheese has solidified and there’s no fear of the cheese stretching or the crust bending or splitting apart.

There’s a magic to refrigeration. The way it can both preserve food and change the flavor of hot things become cold.

Hot milk, cold milk. Hot coffee, cold coffee. Melted ice cream, frozen ice cream. Temperature is almost a flavor of its own.

Uramichi Oniisan 01 at Amazon
0 comments on "Avoca-don’t"

I know I tend to get outraged about what seems to be minor things…

But come on!

There was a foodsaver commercial and it irritated me so bad. Like, you have this machine that uses rolls of plastic bags that you cut to the size you want so you can vacuum seal your foods to prevent waste. So if you buy in bulk or you go hunting or fishing you can save and freeze all that meat.

Good idea. Especially if they can come up with biodegradable bags. Which they haven’t yet.

Right now, the machine uses plastic bags, and everyone knows that plastic isn’t good for the environment. (Don’t get me started on the evils of the potato chip industry and their non-recyclable bags.) But if you want to save your meats for longer than a year or two in the freezer, the only real at-home option is vacuum sealing it.

So the commercial shows the guy gleefully creating single-portions of vacuum sealed meat. Which, by itself, is a little irritating, but I guess understandable.

Then he vacuum seals half of an avocado.

WTF dude???

I get that people at home are going to do wasteful shit like that. It’s a given.

The same way someone’s freezer is going to fail and they’re going to toss half a ton of vacuum sealed meat into a dumpster somewhere. Which will create a NIGHTMARE for some poor garbage handlers.

But making a commercial that purposefully shows someone vacuum sealing half an avocado? Really dudes? Really???

For one thing, avocados are not that precious. Eat that half an avocado tomorrow. Buy new avocados two years from now. Or if you’re worried the end of the world is going to happen and the only thing that’s going to save you from starving is that half an avocado… Maybe it’s time to start growing your own avocado tree. (I think you need two of them to actually get fruit.)

Like, that half an avocado is not only wasting plastic, it’s taking up room in the freezer and every day you keep it is costing you dollars and cents of electricity which eventually adds up to the point that you could have just bought yourself a new avocado.

For reals, that whole “saving you money!” slogan was just the topping on the soft serve shit ice cream that commercial was serving.

Do you really only eat half an avocado at a time? Then get yourself an avocado saver.

Amazon ADLINK: https://amzn.to/478LnjW.

The one shown is just half an avocado put face down into the contraption and strapped in place. Eat that half within a couple of days and there’s no waste. You can use the avocado saver multiple times.

And sure, it too is made out of plastic, which is, by its very nature, bad for the environment, but you’re going to use that thing multiple times versus a bag you’re going to size to half an avocado and then discard. Cost/benefit analysis, my friends.

Something you can use for years versus something you use once and throw into a landfill.

Or if you wanted to be really cool for the environment, get a glass container with an airtight lid. As long as you leave the pit in the avocado half, it won’t immediately start rotting and you can eat it a day or two later.

Eat avocados. They’re delicious and healthy. But don’t use a love for avocados as an excuse to destroy the world.

There just comes a point where people have to get a grip. And just avoca-don’t do that.

Pax,

~HarperWCK