So this is one of those teen movies where a bunch of kids fight the alien invasion by killing people and doing drugs. Basically, it’s high school.
Btw, this movie has a crazy number of famous actors in it — Elijah Wood, Josh Hartnett, Jordana Brewster, Clea DuVall, Shawn Hatosy, Salma Hayek, Famke Janssen, Christopher McDonald, Bebe Neuwirth, Robert Patrick, Usher, and Jon Stewart.
Your Highness
Directed by: David Gordon Green
Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman
Rating: R (for language, imagery, etc)
Storyline from Universal: Throughout history, tales of chivalry have burnished the legends of brave, handsome knights who rescue fair damsels, slay dragons and conquer evil. But behind many a hero is a good-for-nothing younger brother trying just to stay out of the way of those dragons, evil and trouble in general. As two princes on a daring mission to save their land, they must rescue the heir apparent’s fiancée before their kingdom is destroyed. Thadeous (McBride) has spent his life watching his perfect older brother Fabious (Franco) embark upon valiant journeys and win the hearts of his people. Tired of being passed over for adventure, adoration and the throne, he’s settled for a life of wizard’s weed, hard booze and easy maidens. But when Fabious’ bride-to-be, Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel), gets kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar (Justin Theroux), the king gives his deadbeat son an ultimatum: Man up and help rescue her or get cut off…
It’s very sad that this movie did not do better in theaters or with audiences, but I think that might have been due to some misplaced marketing. Seeing the trailers on TV, I was kind of expecting it to be set in the Middle Ages and to be kind of an adventure thing with knights and going off to save the maiden fair. Though, considering the casting, I realized it would contain some rude humor. So basically Hot Tub Time Machine in a medieval setting.
Instead, I was pleasantly surprised by the great costuming (Zooey Deschanel as Belladonna had the greatest dresses) and setting and the actually pretty awesome special effects. There were some f-words and rude humor, sure, but if I ever found myself in some of those situations, that’s exactly how I would talk too.
If you like DragonLance type adventuring, you’d probably find this movie perking your interest. It was kind of a cross between Willow/Labyrinth/PineappleExpress and is actually a lot more than just some “stoner movie” as one reviewer called it.
The story is actually very original and the world it’s set on is not Earth in the past–or so I deduced from the two moons. The characters each had their own personalities and didn’t fit into the typical fantasy type-casting of “mage, barbarian, or bad guy.” This was simply a great popcorn movie with lots of one-liners and visual humor paired with some great questing that isn’t just the typical rip off of Lord of the Rings.
From the opening credits of this movie, I was laughing. I enjoyed it thoroughly from beginning to end and I’m looking forward to watching it again and again. I’m fully planning on buying a copy of my own.
What it reminds me of: Krull, Willow, Pineapple Express, Let’s Go to Prison.
Quotables:
[Fabious is bitten by a snake in the thigh ]
Courtney: SHIT!
Fabious: You have to suck out the venom!
Thadeous: I don’t want to suck it, you suck it!
Fabious: I can’t suck my own venom!
Thadeous: Yes you can! I’ll help you!
[pushes Fabious’s head down]
Thadeous: Suck it! Suck your venom!
Fabious: I can’t reach it with my mouth!
Thadeous: Courtney, suck the venom!
Courtney: But I’ve never…
Thadeous: [pushes Courtney’s head down] SUCK IT!
Isabel: I must surprise a band of thieves and burn them alive in a symphony of shrieks
[the brothers get high]
Fabious: [holding his head] Thadeous, are you seeing what I’m seeing?
Thadeous: [calmly] You making a fool of yourself. Handle your shit, Fabious, please.
Leezar: I’m here to steal a beautiful virgin that looks just. Like. Her.
Fabious: And how do you plan to do that?
Leezar: Magic.
[cracks neck]
Leezar: Motherfucker.
Thadeous: Not so fast, trickster.
Isabel: Hello, Thadeous.
Thadeous: The time for pleasantries is through; do you feel that tiny prick in your back?
Isabel: Is that your cock?
Thadeous: Ha! It is a knife but I’ll gladly penetrate you with it.
Title: Portrait of a Beauty
Directed by Jeon Yoon-soo
Screenplay by Han Soon-ryeon
Alternative title : “Beauty Island”
Synopsis borrowed from HanCinema: Born to a family of established court painters, seven-year-old Yun-jeong is a young girl gifted at painting. However, the pressure is on her brother to carry on the proud family tradition, as women aren’t allowed to become professional painters. While her brother trains to take his place in the court, Yun-jeong helps him out by secretly painting for him. The little girl’s life is turned upside down when her brother kills himself. In order to preserve the family honor, she is forced to take her brother’s name and lives as a man. Yun-bok’s genius and talent captures the heart of another great master of the time, Kim Hong-do. But her daring depictions of women are condemned by the royal institute as obscene. Yun-bok meets Kang-mu and falls deeply in love. For the first time, she feels the strong desire to abandon everything she has built and simply be a woman in front of the man she loves. Kang-mu sacrifices all for his love as well. Kim Hong-do, who loved the genius of his best student, ends up loving everything about her, and Seol-hwa, a Gisaeng at the courtesan house, possesses a love for Hong-do that turns into fatal jealousy. The secret behind Shin Yun-bok’s masterpiece, Portrait of a Beauty, is finally revealed after 250 years of silence.
I watch all these kdramas and they warp my notions of reality. I think that I sympathize more with straight forward characters like Dong Yi and Han Tae Yang because that’s pretty much how I am. Though I think they give themselves more trouble than they really need if they would just be honest with people; not about their more serious secret, but the smaller troubles they get into.
Half these dramas would simply fall apart if one character would turn to another and just lay all the facts out on the table. Instead, everyone has to hold everything all bottled up and creep around all over the place.
Sure, that kind of super melodrama is interesting for a number of episodes, then it just gets repetetive. You want the characters to quit moping around all the time and buck up. At the very least, you stop feeling sorry for the characters and you just think that they should totally cut contact with each other because they would be much better off.
“Bachelor’s Vegetable Store” is strangely compelling for a story about a guy selling vegetables, but I think that they’ve kind of lost track of the charm and have drifted into ridiculous territory. Also, they introduced some side stories for the supporting characters, then they don’t follow through with them. We just get a tiny taste at a time and it’s actually very frustrating.
I was willing to watch 60 episodes of “Dong Yi” because it was just that attention grabbing and entertaining. There were characters that I really cared about and wanted to see get a happy ending.
With “Bachelor’s Vegetable Store,” I’ve kind of gotten to the point where I think Han Tae Yang should just cut his losses and find some other girl to love, one that would actually appreciate him. I just think that she should face up to the fact that she’s more interested in comfort and money than she is in love, and cut the ties; it would be a kindness to just let him go. But there’s no way she’s ever going to do that because she’s selfish. She doesn’t even care enough for him to protect his life from a woman that has shown a willlingness to do horrible things to people.
I’m so disgusted by her, that I think I would appreciate it if there were longer scenes in the secondary characters’ lives to break the tension. Like I have my suspicious about Chan Sol’s situation, but I kind of want to have that proved; that or I would really like an interesting twist. And I’m kind of curious about the seemingly homeless bachelor with the angsty past.