Real Life

The Kid and I made pizza tonight and ruined it.

I’ve made my own pizza before — it’s super easy — and I usually line my cookie sheet with tinfoil to keep the mess to a minimum. But tonight I wanted to try waxed paper. Big mistake.

The pizza came out with its own paper wrapper that refused to peel off. It was a terrible situation, and an otherwise beautiful and lovingly prepared pizza was ruined.

I should have taken some pictures to show you. Looking at the beauty of the pre-baked pizza would have made you weep, especially when we were trying to get the paper off and ended up just eating all the pepperoni and cheese.

Next time I make pizza, I’ll take some pics to show you how it’s supposed to look.

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Easy Pizza

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups flour
  • 1 pkg active dry yeast
  • 1 Tbsp sugar
  • 1 tsp salt
  • Seasonings to taste
  • 2 Tbsp vegetable or olive oil
  • 1 cup warm water
  • spaghetti or pizza sauce
  • mozzarella cheese
  • toppings

Directions:

  • Preheat oven to 375-degrees F.
  • Wrap a cookie sheet with tinfoil. Or use a pizza pan if you don’t like rectangular pizza.
  • In a large bowl add 3 cups flour, 1 pkg active dry yeast, 1 tsp salt, 1 Tbsp white sugar, and seasonings (I usually add garlic powder and Italian seasoning. Makes the crust not so bland. If you don’t have any spices, you can have a plain crust and it tastes fine.)
  • Add 2 Tbsp vegetable or olive oil and 1 cup warm water. Mix with your hand, kneading into the bowl. Keep stretching and folding the dough until there’s no loose flour or crumbly bits and the dough becomes smooth and easy to work.
  • At this point you can either use the dough as is, or cover and let sit for half an hour. I usually just throw it on the pan because I’m hungry/impatient or both.
  • Plop the dough in the middle of the tinfoiled baking sheet, and working from the middle toward the edges, use your fingers and palms to spread the dough. It will seem like there’s not nearly enough dough, but keep working it and it will stretch to cover a whole 15″ x 10″ pan. Try to keep the same thickness across the whole pizza and you can add a bit of a lip around the edge to give yourself some crust if you like it.
  • Spread with spaghetti or pizza sauce and sprinkle with cheese. Arrange your toppings as you like. (I like Canadian bacon, diced tomatoes, black olives, and jalapenos, though pepperoni pizza is always a classic. You can even change up the sauce and experiment a little.)
  • Bake for 20-25 minutes. Let stand at least 5 minutes before cutting. (Give your cheese a chance to firm up before slicing. Otherwise you’ll start cutting and all your toppings will slide off.)

Making a pizza at home can feed your family for less than $5 per pizza.

(Prego spaghetti sauce: $1.88-2.50 a jar and you only need a small amount; Canadian bacon or pepperoni: $2-3 for a package and you can make 2-3 pizzas if you don’t eat all the slices; shredded mozzarella cheese: $1.50-3 for a package; flour: $3 for a whole bag; white sugar: $2-3 for a whole bag; active dry yeast packets: $1.50-3 comes 3-to-a-pack; salt: $0.50-0.90 for a canister; Italian seasoning: $0.50-2 for a shaker bottle; and garlic powder: $0.50-2 for a shaker.)

All Systems Red at Amazon

“It never hurts to ask.” What a douchey commercial, Ford. Seriously.

In recent years, I’ve noticed a lack of true holiday spirit and love/caringness for other people. I’m not saying I’m in any way a perfect person or anything — knitting socks for orphans and giving out kitten mittens even to people that don’t want them — but I am enough of a person to recognize when there’s something very wrong with the world.

The eHarmony commercials with the little girl, and now little boy, are a bit creepy. Not just because the old man keeps popping up during other peoples’ dates and saying weird things, but because the know-it-all little girl sets my teeth on edge.

And now I think the Ford commercials are even worse. I mean, the kid doesn’t even bother to meet Santa face-to-face while he’s demanding a $70,000+ truck. No, he does it over the phone and never once says thank you or please. It’s just “Santa, I’ve been such a good kid, give me a truck that I can’t even drive for another 7 years.”

If I were doing a truck commercial featuring Santa and someone wanting a new truck, I would have shown a man or woman working hard and saving money to get a truck. Something happens — maybe a family member gets sick, something — and s/he’s forced to give up the Truck Fund to help someone else. Then another person — maybe Santa himself, otherwise someone with a lot of money doing a good deed and dressing like Santa when doing it — hears about what s/he did, and shows up with the truck s/he was researching and admiring online — which is good placement for the Ford website — and gives over the keys. Then a whole scene with the joyous new truck owner and family, maybe other people in the community that were so appreciative of her/his sacrifice to help someone else that they want to be involved.

And to make the commercial truly heartwarming, I would add a small child or two — highlighting the fact that a good new truck can fit a carseat — and maybe there’d be a scrappy dog.

I don’t know. I remember a time when commercials were moving little mini-stories around the holiday season displaying happy families and people caring about others. Now, though, it mostly seems to be bratty kids demanding lots of expensive presents that they don’t deserve. It makes me sad. And annoyed.

So here’s a wag of the finger to you, Ford Motors. Your commercial sucks. Expect a visit from the Internet Krampus.

Witch King at Amazon

I got a Vudu account because we have a Smart TV and the Vudu app came pre-installed. Still, it’s easy to log in and it’s easy to use on my computer.

Netflix on the TV isn’t as hard to use as Hulu, but it’s a little bit janked for us. Still, it’s a must-have around our house. I enjoy watching Netflix on the TV or my Kindle Fire. I’m always using my computer and I worry about it breaking down from being overloaded, but I log in through my computer to arrange my queue.

Flixster works on my Kindle Fire, which is awesome. All the movies I saved on Vudu are cross-shared to Flixster so I can watch them. (There’s no Vudu app.) So I can actually watch all those movies we’ve bought whenever I want, as long as there’s wifi.

Crackle is free movies and TV shows and they allow a free app, unlike Hulu.

For my most used free services: Hulu and Dramafever are most comfortably watched on the computer. Viki works well on the Kindle, though it freezes up for me occasionally.

I watch a lot of my saved stuff and DVDs with the VLC Media Player, which makes me wish that all those services worked with it. I like being able to easily resize and move the player and tell it to stay a particular size.

TL;Dr, watch free stuff on Hulu, Dramafever, Crackle, and Viki. Netflix is an easy pay-service, as is Amazon Prime. And for all those digital copy codes that come with DVDs and Blu-Ray, I prefer inputting them into Vudu — it works for all kinds, and they’ll self-propagate to the Flixster app for android devices and to UltraViolet.

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Check out my newest masterwork “Allies & Enemies” at: All Romance Ebooks, Amazon, Goodreads, Less Than Three Press, Smashwords. — superhero, urban fantasy, mm, drama. Darkstar x Blue Ice.

Small Gods at Amazon

I watch The Daily Show and The Colbert Report and they really get me to start thinking.

Like I never really thought about it before, but the amount of people being sent to prison every year is more than just private prisons gathering money for the Capitalist Overlords. It’s also a way to rip away the rights of minorities. Someone gets locked in prison for a stupid reason, and instead of receiving probation and a fine, they get locked away in a horrible place.

It takes away a man’s humanity and brings more chance that they’ll commit a crime again. To lock someone up with no rehabilitation program in place is ridiculous; it would be like grounding a kid, and not following up with a talk or a punishment. Just “Go to your room and stay there,” but with brutal murderers and rapists and all around criminal minded individuals in the surrounding rooms. And at the same time it takes away their right to vote.

I never paused to consider what the voting thing could mean. That it might be a plot to take away the rights of less privileged citizens. Having people imprisoned for ridiculous reasons not only lines peoples’ pockets, but it takes away the voice of the people. And when I look at it that way, I get a suspicious feeling about the rising number of people being sentenced to prison every year.

link: Cracked’s take on prison – http://www.cracked.com/article_20775_7-horrifying-things-you-didnt-want-to-know-about-prison.html

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I’mma write a story that focuses on crime, punishment, and the overshadowing effect of the elite. I mean, that’s basically the backbone of my State Rule stories. A whole system of government that seems so harsh and overbearing that it’s outrageous to see, but it had to come around from somewhere.

Paradigm Shift is a State Rule story, but the world was decimated by zombies and plague. It’s not a solid representation of the World I’m building, so I don’t bring it into consideration.

My other State Rule stories, however, involve histories that mirror our own situation. Capitalism and the free market decimate the world, and individuals form together in new groups centered around the rights of the people. That’s where the Families come from. Members are not all related to each other, though some people are born into a Family like the Altredes, the Lothams, etc.

There were all kinds of unfair happenstances that led into State Rule societies, and now I’m considering how our prison system works helped bring about the world I’m building.

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Seriously, if you want to make up stories, keep your eyes and ears open. Your brain will take things in, and even without you noticing it, stories will build themselves in your subconscious.

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Check me out at Kimichee: Free Reads.