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“This is the story that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on, my friends. Some people started reading it, not knowing what it was, and they’ll continue reading it forever, just because…”

MrYukStickerI get it. You’re writing fanfic, natural rules do not apply, blah blah blah.

But maybe there comes a point when you need to be honest with your readers and say: “I have no idea where this is going. I’ve written myself into a corner, so here’s 100,000 words about the MCs new cat, Devilicus.”

Or how about: “This story is 20% awesome plot, dialogue, and characterization. The rest is me detailing every second of their lives in excruciating detail for no other reason than that you’re going to read it and love it. Oh, and by the way, every third ‘update’ is just a random scene apparently taken from some different story. Sorry?”

Look, I love epic fics. When I’m searching a fandom I sort by COMPLETE and WORD COUNT just to enjoy the meaty, plotty goodness of a long story.

But when your WIP fic is 700,000+ words and turns to total crap when I’m 400,000 words in? We’ve got a problem.

I feel like I’ve been tricked. Especially when your spot on characterizations go zinging off into the wilds of OOCness (out-of-character) and this thought provoking and engaging story turns into baby babbling crack.

You’re churning out a crap story, yet you expect me to keep reading it? You seriously think I’m going to praise you? Really?

There’s an epic story, then there’s “This ficcer loves their baby too much to let it go and introduces drama and surprise twists just so they don’t have to shut up.”

I’m not saying you need to study three-act structure or take a creative writing class. It’s just, dude, OUTLINE. That’s all. Even just jotting down some plot points and knowing where you’re going with it will help a lot.

And I don’t end up feeling like you killed my will to live.

~Pax

Allies & Enemies at Amazon

So I got into a bit of an argument with this guy about the N-word. He kept insisting that because black people use it, it’s okay for him to use it.

I was like, “No. It’s not a good idea to use that word, not just because you’re white and it makes you sound racist, but because someone is going to punch you in the face.”

So he went on about how when he went back to Kansas for his dad’s funeral, everyone used the word. It was synonymous with “black guy,” and even if people weren’t advertising it on the news or whatever, everyone used it.

Then when I asked him how long it’s been since he went to Kansas, he was like “Five years ago for the funeral,” and I was like, “More like ten or fifteen since he died. Times have changed. It’s not all right to use that word. It doesn’t matter if other people use it; that’s their risk. The word is not acceptable to use, even more so since you’re white and older and you have all these views about Chinese people taking over the world, and Koreans eating dogs. Besides, you don’t live in Kansas, you live in the Pacific Northwest. Just, no.”

He was upset and defensive, and I felt bad because I have this thing about not wanting people mad at me, but I get offended hearing him use the word. I’m not black, I’m half-Asian, and it’s weird, but when I went down south, there’s this thing where a lot of people love Asian women. I can’t explain it, but it’s like reverse racism, and yet it still felt uncomfortable to me.

Anyways, he tried to defend his use of the N-word, even going so far as to say that he had a black friend.

Dude, if you have to use the “I have a black friend” excuse to justify something that you’re doing … It’s wrong.

The N-word is not a good word and it’s not okay to use it, ESPECIALLY toward a person or a group of people. It’s offensive to nearly everyone, even if they’re not a person of color.

Just because you’re older and you grew up saying something or hearing something, times have changed. The N-word is wrong, gay people have rights, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Defending your right to use the N-word = You’re wrong. Just stop.

The Way of the Househusband 01 at Amazon

So while I was quietly freaking out, it took me until last night to remember these are self-imposed deadlines with only one of the three really, no contest having to happen.

That’s part of my problem. I put too much stress on myself instead of holding to the old adage of “Slow and steady wins the race.”

I’ve never liked the idea of being slow, but steady is the perfect pace. As long as something is happening each day, a story will build itself up, the words will add up, and suddenly a novel will appear.

It’s like magic beans. Something worthless becomes something invaluable. It just needs a chance to grow.

500 words a day x 5 days = 2500 words a week.
2500 words x 4 weeks = 10,000 words a month.
10,000 words x 12 months = 120,000 words.

Sometimes there’s this urge to do everything at once and force a story to submit, but that just doesn’t work. The words come at a slow trickle and refuse to be rushed. Work with that. Gather up what’s willing to be said and build up what you can. Don’t waste the productivity just because a story hasn’t possessed your fingers like Stephen King and decided to be written all in a day.

Seriously, I’ve had that happen before. A story took over and seemed to write itself, 20,000 words in less than five hours. It was like flying. But that kind of thing is rare.

Writing is work. Fun work a lot of the time, but still work.

It’s like building a house. You assemble the pieces, follow a plan, then get down to putting it all together. It’s just that with writing, you have to make the bricks first.

And I’ve been pressuring myself so much to have a finished product that I haven’t been able to focus on putting it together. So what does that mean?

I’m going back to basics. I’m working on this story until it’s done, not until a specified date. I’m finishing up my proofing. I’m editing my story. I’m letting my creativity have some freedom instead of stifling it.

And from the look of things, there should be three written novels in the next month, two edited novels, and that fanfic thing we don’t talk about (even though I’m quietly squeeing at the awesome.)

Stop stressing about writing as much or more than anyone else. Write like yourself at your own pace. All the agonizing is supposed to happen with the editing, not with your first draft.

The first draft is supposed to be fun times with characters you love, or love to hate.

* * *

Read slashy plotty mm stories free at Kimichee

Panoply at Amazon

Sorry, I didn’t mean to disappear off the face of the Earth, it’s just that my dog has been really sick. Like to the point where there was talk of putting him to sleep.

I’ve been nursing him along and it seems like he might be getting better, but he’s still at a very dangerous point in his care. He’s been getting frisky the last two days — he turns his face away when I’m squirting food in him and he saw me coming earlier with the q-tips for his nose and made a break for it — so I’m really hopeful that he’s going to pull through.

If your dog ever comes into contact with rat poison, vitamin K1 is your friend (not K2, that’s different stuff) and you can buy it online without a prescription. Even if you’re not sure, you don’t have to worry too much because K1 won’t hurt your dog; it just won’t do anything. So if you take your dog to the vet thinking it might have gotten into rat poison, they’ll just shoot him up (the regimen for rat poisoning seems to be K1 injection and a cleanse, then K1 pills for the next month, and Densoyl pills.)

Oh, and Denosyl antioxidants, which are supposed to save your dog’s liver from being damaged, costs from $80-190 a lot of places. Which is why I was over the moon to find out the dietary supplement SAMe is the same stuff and only cost $30 for 60 tablets of 200 mg (for the size of my dog, I give him two.)

From lying on the floor, unable to lift his head, to walking around and giving me a sassy attitude, I’m so amazed by how much better he already is. I can’t say that he’s better yet and there’s still a chance that he could take a downturn in the next few days, but from being completely hopeless to thinking that he might be all right… It feels like my heart is too big for my chest.

(BTW, he didn’t get into rat poison at our house. I’m giving my neighbors the serious side-eye, though I won’t say anything because there’s no proof. And the way rat poison works, he could have been exposed up to two weeks before he started getting super sick. It looks like he only got a small dose, otherwise he would have already been dead.)

Kahluah