Bananas –
So Mother Jones wrote this => “The Only Way to Save Your Beloved Bananas Might Be Genetic Engineering” <= which, you know, TL;DR, I’m guessing we’re gonna have to start growing our own bananas if we want to have some in the future.
It’s late here as I’m writing this, though this post won’t go live until tomorrow morning because of some weird scheduling thing happening with Semagic. Anyways, I’m sleepy, I’m bored, I’m totally unfocused thought-wise and personality-wise. But I feel like the banana issue might be somehow important to me in the a.m., so here’s some links and shit to kickstart my future brain. You can use them if you want. (Yeah, I love you too.)
WikiHow: How to Grow Banana Plants — http://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Banana-Plants. “Having your own access to delicious, healthy bananas can be wonderful if you’re prepared for an extensive growing period. If you live in a warm climate or have a good indoor growing location, read on to learn about the yearlong journey of banana plant gardening.”
Weekend Gardener: How to Grow Bananas Indoors – http://www.weekendgardener.net/fruit/grow-bananas-indoors-011001.htm. “In addition to bringing a fresh look to your house, they do well with minimum maintenance, are self-fruitful, so they don’t need a pollinator, and all banana varieties do well indoors. Basically, there is no reason not to try a banana if you really want a fun project this winter.”
BTW, you can totally grow your own pineapple tree from the top of a delicious, delicious pineapple. Sure, it might not make fruit for years, but a pineapple plant is a pretty decoration for your living room. And, you know, after the apocalyse you’re going to be super popular if you’re the only a-hole that can produce pineapples for parties. I mean, who wouldn’t love a tasty pina colada[1] while the world burns?
And if you’ve got the bananas anyway, why not make yourself some banana bread? It’s one of the simplest baking things ever.
I make mine in a 9×12 pyrex pan lined with parchment paper (which lets me skip the “grease the pan” step). And sure, the bread comes out as a big, two-inch thick block, but that’s fine. I still bake it for 60 minutes, it’s still delicious, and it has that firm yet springy texture that I enjoy.
I use the edges of the parchment paper to slide it and the banana bread out of the pan and onto a rack to cool for around 2 hours. And then I cut it down the middle lengthwise, and then in half. This gives me four pieces that are 4.5 inches x 6 inches. The quarters can then be wrapped up in plastic wrap and tinfoil before being frozen, or I can just scarf them down as is, because it’s really hard to resist such deliciousness for very long.
I slice the banana bread quarters into the desired thickness. They look kind of like biscotti, but not all hard and crunchy.
BTW, for this batch I added some ground ginger and ground nutmeg, which gave it a bit of a kick. This recipe is pretty basic, which leaves it open for experimentation–walnuts, chocolate chips, raisins, craisins, ground cloves, whatever floats your boat. It will probably be delicious.
*Z
1. How to make rum: WikiHow
Takes about 4-10 days. Preparation time is 4-6 weeks. Yields approximately 2-3 liters of rum.
Ingredients:
5.5 lbs molasses
5.5 lbs sugar
5.2 gallons distilled water
1.5 ounces hydrated yeast
additional distilled water
Z*
A book I recommend is “How to Do Absolutely Everything: Homegrown Projects from Real Do-It-Yourself Experts” by Instructables.com. It’s a compilation of some of the better projects from the site. Includes instructions on growing your own pineapple.
Like seriously, dude, if you’ve got any kind of DIY project in mind, Instructables–along with WikiHow–is one of the first sites you should hit up for ideas. There’s so many incredible people out there. It’s not any kind of shame to follow in their footsteps.
Pick up some seeds from Amazon — Dwarf Cavendish Banana Tree Certified 5 Seeds. Current price: >$7
